Christine B

Tim, The wonderful thing about this message board is that we are like an extended family, and are here to help other members whenever they need it.

You have received some excellent advice already however, let me tell you a little of my own story. I once felt I had nothing to live for and felt really alone and worthless.
Heck, I had even planned out how I was going to take my life. Long story short, God, prayer and loving family and friends helped me to realize that was only a permenant solution to temporary problems. Had I followed thru with taking my life, I would never have realized that things do get better! They really do, and you have more people that care for you than you know. You are worth it, and do not ever let anyone tell you other wise. When you feel you do not have anyone to talk to, talk to God. He listens!! I know, he stopped me from taking my life years ago.

You can and will get thru this, and are in our thoughts and prayers.
My email is not hidden and I also have aol IM. Hang in there kiddo!!! We are here for you!!!

Edited by - Christine B on 02/26/2002 09:05:44

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nascar88

tim, theres is a lot of love and hope out there and in here, please listen to these folks. it will get better.

Ansel

I hate to read about the pain your going through. A lot of good people are there/here for you. Reach out to one or a all but let them help you. Maybe you've done that. Let us know what we can do. I'll be praying for you!

Tazman

Tim PLEASE read cardeers post and all the others over and over, know that we all are praying for you, like the others I to have tears in my eyes, forget your friends and realize that there is a power far larger than friends and let that power into your heart. PLEASE hang in there, many times in life people hit the bottom and think there is no way out. There is a way out! Let the power into your heart, once you have let the power in you will find you have real friends, you have a lot here. Open up to the power and to us. You are in our prayers.

The Tazman

Johnny

Hey Tim, believe it or not, we all go through some type of depression. Some are worse that others but regardless, we all go through it in some way, shape or form. Just this passed December, my life was on the brink and I almost died. I came down with a very rare disease called 'Gionne' Barrie Syndrome'. It nearly killed me Tim and I thank the Lord Almighty that I am still alive.
I came down with Strep throat after Thanksgiving and they put me on some potent antibiotics. Going into the second week of taking the antibiotics I started feeling really tired and my big toes started going numb on me. I woke up the next day and my hands were very cold and they felt very strange. I then decided to go to the emergency room. They did a bunch of blood test and they came back fine. The doctor said I had anxiety. I did not buy that at all. This was on a Friday. I got home from the emergency room and I decided to pick of some branches in my front yard. I bent down to pick them up and my legs felt very week. I decided to ride it out through the weekend to see if I got any better. By Monday morning I could barely stand up and my knees would start to shake. Not only that but I lost 10 pds. in just five days. I decided to go see my doctor. Guess what? She also diagnosed me with a anxiety/depression disorder. I told her that yes I had anxiety but it was caused because of my physical ailments. She talked with me awhile and she pretty much made me believe that I had anxiety. She put me on some anxiety/depression pill and sent me on my way. During the rest of week, things went downhill real quick. My whole body started tingling from head to toe and I had a hard time eating anything which brought another 10 pds. off of me. I could not sleep at night because it felt like my hands and feet were on fire. I prayed to the Lord to please give me comfort and to please give me an answer. I got a total of 12 hours of sleep over a 3 week period. The weekend came and I was totaly week. My wife was scared because I had lost so much weight and I could not pick up a cup full of water. We all thought that I was dying. I prayed to the Lord and told him if he wanted me I was ready. Sunday rolled around and I found myself on my hands and knees in the middle of the night with tears rolling down my cheeks. I said unto the Lord, "Lord, I love you so much. I feel so blessed that you have done this to me. I can now feel your comfort and I know that you are with me. Thank you for bringing me down in the valley where I know you more than ever. Thank you for taking me off of the mountain top where I did not know you. But Lord, I cannot spend the rest of my life down here in the valley. My family needs me. Please, help me."

That following Monday I decided to go to a different emergency room. I had a very nice doctor ask me a bunch of questions and then he checked my reflexes. Guess what? I had none. He tried his hardest to get my legs to jump but they wouldn't. He decided to go get a neurologist. He came back with him and right away the neurologist said that I might have 'Gionne Barrie Syndrome'. He said that it was a severe inflamation of the nervous system and that it was viral and it needed to run its course. He said it could be life threatning because it could shut down my respiratory system. They emmited me into the hospital and they did a spinal tap, a cat scan and a MRI over the next few days and everything came back great. My blood work was also excellent so he was 70% sure that I had 'Gionne Barrie'. They could not give me anything to ease the pain because it was a viral infection. It had to run its course. I have come to the conclusion that the antiobiotics screwed up all of my body functions. I also took antibiotics 2 weeks before I got strep throat for sinusitus. The neurologist said that was a possibilty. They don't know too much on what causes this disease. Now to the good news. I will make a full recovery. I am still not 100%. I almost got all of my strength back but my hands and feet still tingle and my right leg hurts real bad from time to time. I just got my reflexes back 2 weeks ago. But yes, I will make it and so will you. After I got home from the hospital, I got a chair and went and sat down outside looking over the back pasture. I sat their and cried tears of joy. I thanked the Lord for my time in the valley. I now reside in the foothills of the mountains where the grass is green and the wildlife flourishes. I hope I never see that mountain top again where life is faded out by a dense fog.
I'm sorry to bore you with such a story Tim but I wanted you to know that you are not alone. Life is not easy at all but it is well worth living. You have alot to look forward to. Lots of hunting and fishing. Turn you heart over to Jesus Tim and he will comfort you. No matter where you are in life or what troubles come your way, he will be their for you. I'm also here for you Tim so e-mail me when you get a chance. And most of all, God Bless You.

Johnny

Jimmy S

Tim, A lot of folks here have given some awful good advise. The reason is simple..because we care! It may not sound like much, but if there is anything I can do, whether it's simply just listening and you need to run some things by someone, please don't hesitate to get in touch with me via EMail (or anyone else on this board). We can even kick it up a bit and I can call you directly....whatever it takes. Just remember, folks here have a genuine interest in the outdoors and we may have different attitudes about some things, but when one of us is in need of help we are all there offering our support TOGETHER. Take care Buddy!....Jimmy S

Allen Denton

Tim, there is sooo much to live for. I teach in the public schools and I see kids who have got it so tough. Please reconsider and think about brighter things. Keep on talking on this board, there are alot of great people here. I am only 31 but I have seen some of the older fellas telling you that things will get better. I am a firm believer in GOD and his son Jesus and i know that he will not give you any more then you can handle. It may seem like too much right now but you can make it. YOU CAN MAKE IT!!!

scottsman

Tim,there is so much wisdom being given to you right now on this board, most men go their whole life without even earning this much wisdom, let alone to have it given to them freely by people who truly care. Please take this all to heart,Cardeer and Taz and Johnny and all of the rest of them,mean every word they say,please listen.
I won't go tellin' you about the troubles I went through in life. But what I will tell you is this, LIFE DOES GET BETTER, sometimes the bad seems like it will never ever end. But it does. Remember never build you world around anything of man's it will always let you down, that means girls, jobs even family sometimes. Learn to be happy in yourself and your relationship with God.
I know this sounds like a sermon from church.
But all of the others have told you the same thing,like I said before that much wisdom can't be wrong. Tim e-mail me anytime you need to talk.

malonefan

Tim i was there. In the 4th grade i got picked on and hit by the balls. Every one made fun of me. I thought about killing myself. I never did and i think the lord every day for not leting me. Now i am in the 9th grade and have lots of REAL freinds that care about me. Plus i have god. You can always talk to God. Get involved with a parish. Consuling dont help. Tonight try talking to god. (you may already) He is always there. If you killing myself that is a ticket to hell. People that have tried killing themselfs that have came back have said that is was pitch black and very hot. They all have changed there life. You can to.

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