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Whatís the proper balance of family (or significant other), chores and hunting?

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Whatís the proper balance of family (or significant other), chores and hunting?

Old 11-22-2010, 05:03 AM
  #1  
Nontypical Buck
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Default Whatís the proper balance of family (or significant other), chores and hunting?

My impractical (and probably selfish) view is:

Hunting season is only two months long, we canít hunt on Sundays in VA, Iím only able to take a few days off from work to hunt, so on Saturdays, IíM GOING HUNTING. ALL DAY!!

Now, in reality, that doesnít fly (and I would never actually say that to my wife). We have two kids (4 & 1), and they can be a handful. I appreciate that my wife looks after them by herself (I know it can be a little stressful) when I do go hunting all day, but I almost kind-of expect it. Like, I would do the same for her if there was something seasonal that she was as passionate about (she obviously knows how passionate I am about it, but I truly donít think she understands. Sunday is a good day to spend with the family, and itís not like I donít spend time with them EVERY night after work. The outside chores get neglected a bit (canít really spend time with the fam on Sunday if Iím outside working), so itís either one or the other. IMO, the leaves can wait until January! Theyíll still be there. 

Anyway, I am just feeling a little frustrated because yes, I am OBSESSED with hunting, but I feel like my wife is just doing what she can to deal with it, and I can tell. Like, although she isnít saying it, I get the feeling she thinks Iím neglecting my family and responsibilities by going all day.

Whatís your situation with your family/significant other?
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Old 11-22-2010, 05:17 AM
  #2  
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Family first!!
Don't need to go out every saturday regardless of what's going on at home.
Would take the wife and kids into consideration.
Myself, all of october is shot,
Anniversary, my bday, wifes bday, and our lil ones bday all in oct.
Giving up hunting in october is a small price for guilt free hunting rest of season.
I rather go hunting with the wifes blessings, then go and return to an attitude of some sort.
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Old 11-22-2010, 05:19 AM
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I hear ya, and I think we all have this problem.

Me Im lucky, I'm oil field trash now, so I work two weeks on, two weeks off. So I get plenty of days to hunt. However, by the time I go on days off my wife and kids want time. The boys do sometimes go out with me. But on days when I take em out they are our days, it cant really be called hunting. They are too young to sit in a stand for more than 30 minutes without talking and wanting to get down and walk around. When we "stalk" we still arent productive, they ohh and ahh at every track scrape or dropping. So, I take em out on Sundays cause we cant hunt.

The wife is pretty understanding, but I could tell she was wanting more time with me, so I opted to stay home this morning, put the kids on the bus and let her sleep in a little bit, with the intent of her getting up after the kids went to school and spending some time.

She is still sleeping, so it won't happen again. I only have two days of hunting left (next days off we have to go visit family in Iowa, and I wont have another days off till after season closes.
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Old 11-22-2010, 07:15 AM
  #4  
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Originally Posted by 7.62NATO View Post
My impractical (and probably selfish) view is:

Hunting season is only two months long, we canít hunt on Sundays in VA, Iím only able to take a few days off from work to hunt, so on Saturdays, IíM GOING HUNTING. ALL DAY!!

Now, in reality, that doesnít fly (and I would never actually say that to my wife). We have two kids (4 & 1), and they can be a handful. I appreciate that my wife looks after them by herself (I know it can be a little stressful) when I do go hunting all day, but I almost kind-of expect it. Like, I would do the same for her if there was something seasonal that she was as passionate about (she obviously knows how passionate I am about it, but I truly donít think she understands. Sunday is a good day to spend with the family, and itís not like I donít spend time with them EVERY night after work. The outside chores get neglected a bit (canít really spend time with the fam on Sunday if Iím outside working), so itís either one or the other. IMO, the leaves can wait until January! Theyíll still be there. 

Anyway, I am just feeling a little frustrated because yes, I am OBSESSED with hunting, but I feel like my wife is just doing what she can to deal with it, and I can tell. Like, although she isnít saying it, I get the feeling she thinks Iím neglecting my family and responsibilities by going all day.

Whatís your situation with your family/significant other?
NATO..I feel your pain. I am working real hard currently on finding the balance. I was doing good until the rut hit and I got kinda nuts going out hunting. My serious girlfriend I live with wasn't too happy so I have been dialing it down. I agree with you on everything. I spend time every weeknight with her and her daughter but to them when you make the choice to go hunting, its like saying it is more important to you than they are..which is not the case but that's how they see it. I agree, it is just seasonal so we need to be out in the woods now but family is something we can't neglect. I am learning that.
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Old 11-22-2010, 07:45 AM
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Originally Posted by CutEm View Post
I agree, it is just seasonal so we need to be out in the woods now but family is something we can't neglect. I am learning that.
But at the same time they need to understand that they are not going to get a hundred percent of your time.

Back when I was younger I dated a woman for a long time, during off season she didn't want to spend all waking hours with me. We were just together a fair amount of time, like you would expect from a couple that had been together for a year or more. But come hunting season if I wasn't with her every second of my off time from work I was the badguy.

Yeah she was an extreme example. But I find a lot of relationships are like that to one degree or another. Its almost like they want to see how much they can keep you away from it without you complaining, and if you do complain then you are the bad guy. If they have to complain you are the bad guy.
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Old 11-22-2010, 08:21 AM
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That's how a lot of women are. They are jealous of the fact that their man would want to spend more time doing something other than being with them. It doesnt matter if its hunting or watching a particular football game or whatever. They will find a reason to interfere and try to make you feel guilty for doing what you want rather than what they want you to do. Its a freaken conspiracy I say! Not saying that is everyone's particular situation, just what I have noticed.
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Old 11-22-2010, 08:26 AM
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Two kids, aged 4 & 1 are a HUGE HANDFUL!

You helped make them, you have to help raise them, and that's a 7 day/week, 24 hour a day job. As they get older, it gets easier, well timewise, the problems just change :-)

Take the time from hunting now, in a fair way, to balance, you can't realistically expect family patterns to suddenly change come hunting season. Talk to your wife, not us! Work out something where you can hunt AND help her with the kids AND get her some "alone time" that she wants.

Hunting is here for the rest of your life. Put something before your family, and they might not be.
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Old 11-22-2010, 08:27 AM
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If that is the case with a woman, then she does not deserve the pleasure of my company. Which is why I am with my wife instead of those women.
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Old 11-22-2010, 08:52 AM
  #9  
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Originally Posted by Bob H in NH View Post
Two kids, aged 4 & 1 are a HUGE HANDFUL!

You helped make them, you have to help raise them, and that's a 7 day/week, 24 hour a day job. As they get older, it gets easier, well timewise, the problems just change :-)

Take the time from hunting now, in a fair way, to balance, you can't realistically expect family patterns to suddenly change come hunting season. Talk to your wife, not us! Work out something where you can hunt AND help her with the kids AND get her some "alone time" that she wants.

Hunting is here for the rest of your life. Put something before your family, and they might not be.
OK, let's not get too extreme here. You're acting like I said that I leave for work before everyone wakes, get home after they've gone to sleep, hunt all day Saturday and don't see them at all, and somehow disappear on Sunday.

There's nothing wrong with me bouncing this off the hunting community to see what they have experienced. Also, I know all about what it is to raise these kids. I was without a job for almost two years and stayed home with them (additional context for ya).

I'm trying to determine what exactly is putting something before my family, and what is a reasonable expectation. I mean, if I wanna go out one night and play poker, is that putting poker before my family? I don't think so. You might!
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Old 11-22-2010, 09:37 AM
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Originally Posted by 7.62NATO View Post
I'm trying to determine what exactly is putting something before my family, and what is a reasonable expectation. I mean, if I wanna go out one night and play poker, is that putting poker before my family? I don't think so. You might!
Ill give ya an example. My Wife's ex husband left the hospital while she was giving birth to go on an 8 day hunting trip. The baby was stillborn, and he didn't come back until his trip was over.

That is an extreme example yes. But it happens.

Then you have the normal hunter like myself. I get back home on days off and I spend the first two days back doing nothing but family stuff. I fly in late Friday night, Spend Saturday and Sunday with the family. Monday morning rolls around and I let the wife sleep in, and put the kids on the bus. She wakes, we eat breakfast and have coffee, then I spend the day scouting. Tuesday through that Friday I hunt mornings until it warms to the point the deer arnt moving (generally about ten or eleven o'clock. Spend the afternoons with the wife doing whatever. Then the evenings with the kids. Saturday rolls around and I take the oldest boy (six) out hunting until he starts to complain that he is tired. Sunday, as we cant hunt, I take the youngest (four) out into the woods and teach him a thing or two. My last week home I planned on going out all day today, and just the morning tomorrow, then spend all of Wednesday with the wife before getting on the bird Thursday and going back to work, but decided to let her sleep in.

I would call that well balanced.
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