How can I get her to understand?
02-04-2008, 09:47 AM
#41
Typical Buck
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location:
Posts: 888
RE: How can I get her to understand?
At first whewn my wife and I were dating, I would miss out on some huntingto spend time with her and to help keep things civil.Then after we were married for a few years I let her dictate how I hunted, which was hardly ever. I went 4 hunting seasons without killing a deer. Then i went to work over seas for a year and missed out on my hunting season. I told myself when i get back I will hunt every chance i get. Every season since then I have killed atleast one deer. This year I killed 5. She tried that "I am always stuck at home with the kids" then my reply is, "you dont love our kids, you make it sound so bad to be at home with the kids?" Then she gives me this "we never get to spend time together anymore!" I say "we got the whole rest of the year to do whatever we want." Then when she gets really bad I say " Why dotn you come with me" then she says she "aint sitting out in them woods and waiting on something that prolly wont even show up" then i tell her its her fault and not mine. I tell her she tries to take it out on me for her having a boring life. The i give her the ole, I was a hunter when you said I DO. I tell ehr the door is rigth over there and she can follow me out when i go hunting. It sounds like I am hard on her but she fails to understand why I hunt, its not just about killing but eh getting away from it all and doing what i enjoy. I give her and my kids most of time anyway, i actually hunted less this year than last year and killed more deer.
02-08-2008, 10:48 AM
#43
Nontypical Buck
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location:
Posts: 2,139
RE: How can I get her to understand?
I'm really confused. You golf,hunt and it takes you 5 months to save 300+ dollars? How are you going to afford the gas to drive 2 hours each way? Or buy a license? I'm not trying to be mean or to hurt your feelings but I think youshould get your finances in order before you even consider hunting or golfing.Good luck to you and your family.
02-08-2008, 11:39 AM
#44
Nontypical Buck
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location:
Posts: 1,832
RE: How can I get her to understand?
O.K. came up with a brilliant idea.
this one will take guts, you'll probably get thrwon out the door,but the bottem line is you'll be huntin either way.......
Women dream about one thing and one thing only from the time they are kids to the day they tie the knot......
THEIR WEDDINGand HONEY MOON.......
You forked that expense out for her lifetime dream come true, now its time for yours to begin.......
JUST THROW THAT IN HER FACE....
this one will take guts, you'll probably get thrwon out the door,but the bottem line is you'll be huntin either way.......
Women dream about one thing and one thing only from the time they are kids to the day they tie the knot......
THEIR WEDDING
and HONEY MOON.......You forked that expense out for her lifetime dream come true, now its time for yours to begin.......
JUST THROW THAT IN HER FACE....
02-08-2008, 12:37 PM
#45
Spike
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Northern WI
Posts: 91
RE: How can I get her to understand?
Holy, there are some of you guys that sound pretty brave here and are in my oppinion the most likely "yes dears" at home. If your not you sound like your on the way to bachelorhood.Any relationship is a give and take situation on both sides. Wether she likes to bungeejump or you like to snoboard naked. Everybody is entitled to thier own passtimes. It's the division of labor that helps get someone (male or female) free time.Telling someone to choose between "getting his balls back" and keeping a civil relationship with the person he loves doesn't seem like too hard of a decision to me. Comunication is key. Sitting down and talking about it is the way to go. Telling her that your going to do something and that's just too damn bad will be like setting fire to tinder. Kablamo! Instant fight just add water! Set time aside for family first, then playtime. Involve everyone as much as possible with the family decisions about when to do things and life goes alot smoother.
If she dated you when you hunted or fished or whatever the hobby, then she knows you love it. She just has to know you love her and the kids MORE. It doesn't mean you have to stop it just means you also have to do family stuff too.
As a woman the worst feeling in the world is thinking the person you love doesn't love you or appreciate you or the things you do for him. I had a hard time convincing my long term BF that even though he loves me it's a nice thing to HEAR. He has since come arround.
I do not want his "balls" in a jar nor do most normal women want a man they can push around or walk on.And I do not think any less of any man for putting loved ones and thier feelings first.
Single people are single because they choose to be. Everyone else learns the term compromise.
If she dated you when you hunted or fished or whatever the hobby, then she knows you love it. She just has to know you love her and the kids MORE. It doesn't mean you have to stop it just means you also have to do family stuff too.
As a woman the worst feeling in the world is thinking the person you love doesn't love you or appreciate you or the things you do for him. I had a hard time convincing my long term BF that even though he loves me it's a nice thing to HEAR. He has since come arround.
I do not want his "balls" in a jar nor do most normal women want a man they can push around or walk on.And I do not think any less of any man for putting loved ones and thier feelings first.Single people are single because they choose to be. Everyone else learns the term compromise.
02-08-2008, 01:09 PM
#46
Nontypical Buck
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location:
Posts: 1,832
RE: How can I get her to understand?
ORIGINAL: brushbuck28
Holy, there are some of you guys that sound pretty brave here and are in my oppinion the most likely "yes dears" at home. If your not you sound like your on the way to bachelorhood.Any relationship is a give and take situation on both sides. Wether she likes to bungeejump or you like to snoboard naked. Everybody is entitled to thier own passtimes. It's the division of labor that helps get someone (male or female) free time.Telling someone to choose between "getting his balls back" and keeping a civil relationship with the person he loves doesn't seem like too hard of a decision to me. Comunication is key. Sitting down and talking about it is the way to go. Telling her that your going to do something and that's just too damn bad will be like setting fire to tinder. Kablamo! Instant fight just add water! Set time aside for family first, then playtime. Involve everyone as much as possible with the family decisions about when to do things and life goes alot smoother.
If she dated you when you hunted or fished or whatever the hobby, then she knows you love it. She just has to know you love her and the kids MORE. It doesn't mean you have to stop it just means you also have to do family stuff too.
As a woman the worst feeling in the world is thinking the person you love doesn't love you or appreciate you or the things you do for him. I had a hard time convincing my long term BF that even though he loves me it's a nice thing to HEAR. He has since come arround.I do not want his "balls" in a jar nor do most normal women want a man they can push around or walk on.And I do not think any less of any man for putting loved ones and thier feelings first.
Single people are single because they choose to be. Everyone else learns the term compromise.
Holy, there are some of you guys that sound pretty brave here and are in my oppinion the most likely "yes dears" at home. If your not you sound like your on the way to bachelorhood.Any relationship is a give and take situation on both sides. Wether she likes to bungeejump or you like to snoboard naked. Everybody is entitled to thier own passtimes. It's the division of labor that helps get someone (male or female) free time.Telling someone to choose between "getting his balls back" and keeping a civil relationship with the person he loves doesn't seem like too hard of a decision to me. Comunication is key. Sitting down and talking about it is the way to go. Telling her that your going to do something and that's just too damn bad will be like setting fire to tinder. Kablamo! Instant fight just add water! Set time aside for family first, then playtime. Involve everyone as much as possible with the family decisions about when to do things and life goes alot smoother.
If she dated you when you hunted or fished or whatever the hobby, then she knows you love it. She just has to know you love her and the kids MORE. It doesn't mean you have to stop it just means you also have to do family stuff too.
As a woman the worst feeling in the world is thinking the person you love doesn't love you or appreciate you or the things you do for him. I had a hard time convincing my long term BF that even though he loves me it's a nice thing to HEAR. He has since come arround.
I do not want his "balls" in a jar nor do most normal women want a man they can push around or walk on.And I do not think any less of any man for putting loved ones and thier feelings first.Single people are single because they choose to be. Everyone else learns the term compromise.
I enjoy do things for my wife and kids to make them happy,watching my wife and kids be happy,
My wife puts up with my hunting, doesn't like it has to me she doesn't understand why I do it.
But its something I love to do and she wants me to be happy,THATS COMPROMISE....
From the point I got from the start of the threadhe's a good husband good father enjoys his family loves his family loves wife does things to keep his wife happy but when he wants to do something that keeps him happy she has a problem with it.......THATS NOT COMPROMISE..
And maybe he should fuel the coals alot and get things heated up.
02-08-2008, 01:26 PM
#47
Spike
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Northern WI
Posts: 91
RE: How can I get her to understand?
I agree. She has to be willing to compromise too! Definately. Stuborness and pigheadedness are not reserved for men only. It has to work both ways orany relatioship isgoing to go down hill. Sometimes fast sometimes slow. and if there are kids involved it will be a painful decline either way.
People have to choose which is more important the happiness of thier spouse(male or female) or getting what they want. That sentence can be for him or her. I think time hunting is a valid request (I spend much more time at it than the BF does, he like things with motors yuck
)Just that digging in and saying "this is the way it is going to be and your going to like it... is probally not going to get the response he wants.[:'(]
People have to choose which is more important the happiness of thier spouse(male or female) or getting what they want. That sentence can be for him or her. I think time hunting is a valid request (I spend much more time at it than the BF does, he like things with motors yuck
)Just that digging in and saying "this is the way it is going to be and your going to like it... is probally not going to get the response he wants.[:'(]
02-09-2008, 06:05 AM
#48
Nontypical Buck
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: palm bay fl
Posts: 4,504
RE: How can I get her to understand?
i'd let her know, it'syour money,your time and its whatYOU want.....
i'm sure she gets things she wants....compromise is the key.....
i do what i want, my hubby does what he wants, then we meet in the middle....works great but theres gotto be that trust...
there is no way he'd be fine with me going hunting for 3-5 days a week during season if he didnt trust me....as long as i call him and let him know i love him, he's a happy man.....he gets time to himself as well.....people need that....hope it works out for you....but i hate to say it, but if y'all are trying to run eachothers lives, it'll never work.....so you might as well go hunting, lol....
i'm sure she gets things she wants....compromise is the key.....
i do what i want, my hubby does what he wants, then we meet in the middle....works great but theres gotto be that trust...
there is no way he'd be fine with me going hunting for 3-5 days a week during season if he didnt trust me....as long as i call him and let him know i love him, he's a happy man.....
he gets time to himself as well.....people need that....hope it works out for you....but i hate to say it, but if y'all are trying to run eachothers lives, it'll never work.....so you might as well go hunting, lol....
