BuckKiller89

I was wondering if everyone would post a joke (hunt related or not).
Please keep it clean though.

I'll start out.

There was an old man telling a young boy of a hunt he had taken years back, he told the boy that he was up on a mountain taking a break when a cougar jumped from behind a bush andwent,"ROARRRRRRRRR."the man leaned over and wispered to the little boy,"I'll tell you son, I just pooped my pants."
the little boy said,"I would probably poop myself too if that happened to me."
the old man replied,"no no no, I pooped myself just then when I went roar."

m.t.hands

good one bk89, i'll try to remember the one i heard about a squirrel

bowhuntermws1981

Jeff Foxworthy on Pennsylvania:

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Pennsylvania.

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Bradford is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Pennsylvania.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Pennsylvania.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Pennsylvania.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Pennsylvania.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Pennsylvania.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Pennsylvania.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Pennsylvania.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Pennsylvania.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Pennsylvanian WHEN:

1. "Vacation" means going up north past I-80 for the weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave all the doors unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a concrete statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
15. Down South to you means Pittsburgh.
16. A critter is something you eat.
17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.
18. You go out to fish fry every Friday.
19. YOUR 4TH OF JULY PICNIC WAS MOVED INDOORS DUE TO FROST.
20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
21. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
22. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Pennsylvania friends

skeeter 7MM

Not really a joke but a cartoon I just had to forward to the wife!!

Cloudwalker

This happened a long time ago, before people got enlightened about how to live with grizzly bears. Three Europeans were going on a day-hike in Glacier Park---one from England, one from France, and one from the Czeck Republic. They stopped to talk to the Ranger before beginning their trek. After they describe their planned route, the Ranger emphatically advises them to choose another destination, because there are a couple of problem-grizzlies up there, and they would be risking their lives. But the Europeans are insistent about taking this route, and off they go. By evening, they still have not returned. The ranger fears the worst. The next morning, he gathers his team together and goes looking for the three Europeans. Soon, the team comes to a clearing and spots two grizzlies, a male and a female, looking very full and content. The ranger shakes his head sadly and does what he has to do---he shoots the two grizzlies dead. (Remember, this was a long tima ago). The team then proceeds to cut open the female, and sure enough, inside her stomach they find the Englishman and the Frenchman. Then they know. The ranger shakes his head and says, with great sadness, "I just know it--- the Czeck is in the male."

PABowhntr

That one was flippin' great! Some excellent PA jokes!

How about a moaner? My dad told me this one when he first took me out hunting.

Dad: I was down at the shop the other day and bought one of those new fangled aluminum arrows. Cost me .65 cents.
Son: Really Dad? That sounds expensive.
Dad: Yep, it was but it paid off.
Son: Why?
Dad: Well, later that day I went huntin' with that arra and managed to shoot a dandy buck.
Son: Dad that is awesome! But why do you look so sad?
Dad: Well it was an expensive shot.
Son: Why Dad?
Dad: Because after I shot I leaned over to the guy next to me and said..."Darn it, there goes a buck, sixty five.....



...told you it was a moaner.

Cloudwalker

Ever eat deer testicles? I hear they are pretty good and inexpensive...usually under a buck

CAMPFOURCORNERS

bowhunter thos had me lmao. i can relate to about everyone
of the

Striper Phil

New Living Will Form



I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not
wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no
circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood
politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives
depended on it.
If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask
for (please initial all that apply)

_________a martini,
_________a margarita,
_________a beer,
_________a steak,
_________ the remote control,
__________ a bowl of ice cream,
_________ a Kalua on the rocks,
_________ sex,


it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a
determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and
attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it
a day.
Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a
special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that
these boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention
instead to the future of the millions of Americans who aren't in a
permanent coma.


http://www.chumfm.com/MorningShow/bits/march24.swf









You've got to listen to this! <>It's a phone call from a man in Texas who witnessed a car accident involved 4 elderly

women. It was so popular when they played it on CHUM FM that they had to put it on their site.



__________________________________________________

BrianDamage

isn't that what the "Off Season" forum is for?