I would suggest a 22 to start with. If you really want to go with a centerfire, go with a 9mm. Ammo is cheap, and it is very easy for a beginner to shoot. Good luck

S&W J-Frame 38 Special+P. Semi-autos are a bad choice for ladies, and beginners. A 22 is not a bad idea, but a 38 is better, if we are discussing only one gun. I would get the 22 as her second gun, not first. Obviously self defense is your objective. The 357 is not necessary, too much recoil and too large of a frame. Also harder to conceal. Train the shooter with light load 38 specials. Use +P loads when carrying or personal defense situations. Recoil will not be a consideration, if self defense is necessary. I am also a believer in the light weights. Obviously there is more recoil, but it does not come close to a 44 magnum recoil. I realize you can shoot 38"s in a 357, but if you use the +P loads in a short barrel, there really is not alot of difference, especially in factory loads. Tom.

22 is a good suggestion but be carefull. I've lost 2 nice 22's to the wife that way. I've got to go buy a 3rd just for me to shoot and now my daughter is thinking about shooting. Maybe I should 2 more just in case?

I know how to solve that problem, tell your wife that the .22 is your gun, and if she wants one, she gets it herself, or you get her one for Christmas or something. Get a 22 for your daughter for Christmas. Don't give your own guns away like that.

I had the same problem with my friends. That is why I have 3 of them now so we cann all shoot at the same time without having to trade back and forth.

JeffS--Is that 3 friends or 3 guns??

Check out the Walther P22 .22 cal. I bought one for my wifelast year and she loves it. Its compact and fits her hand great and has zero recoil. She's 5'4" 110lbs(I think...never actually seen the scale) and she handles itvery well. I have let her shoot my 38/357 s&w and my glock 40cal.She handles the 38 pretty well but the 40jumps a little on her. I actually carry that walther with me while I'm scouting in the off seasons. Makes a great snake/armadillo gun.I paid around $250 tax and all for the gun. We've put 400+ rounds through it and its never jammed the 1st time.