S&W J-Frame 38 Special+P. Semi-autos are a bad choice for ladies, and beginners. A 22 is not a bad idea, but a 38 is better, if we are discussing only one gun. I would get the 22 as her second gun, not first. Obviously self defense is your objective. The 357 is not necessary, too much recoil and too large of a frame. Also harder to conceal. Train the shooter with light load 38 specials. Use +P loads when carrying or personal defense situations. Recoil will not be a consideration, if self defense is necessary. I am also a believer in the light weights. Obviously there is more recoil, but it does not come close to a 44 magnum recoil. I realize you can shoot 38"s in a 357, but if you use the +P loads in a short barrel, there really is not alot of difference, especially in factory loads. Tom.