but that's because I'll be forever missing my best friend in the whole wide and sometimes not so wide world. He is no longer with us and it feels very strange because the person I really want to confide in is the same person that's gone.

I come here almost as if to vent but that's not the right description. Almost as if to tell somebody but really only to tell myself. Almost as a way to get away but I know there's no possibility of that.

The family doesn't want the details surrounding his death discussed so I'll just say that he was a good man who tried to lead a good life. He was only in his 30's. Steve leaves behind a wife and 3 young children.

He left with me, an impression to last a lifetime. He was the definition of what a "true friend" should be and more. Though Steve shared no blood with me, he was the only of my friends tolove me like a brother, sometimes moreso than my own brothers did. He helped me land a trucking lease/contract many years ago after training me from the ground up all the while paying me. There were times after that when I couldn't pay my bills and he loaned me thousands of dollars and never once asked when it would be paid back. There were times he just up and gave me money 'cause he just knew I needed it. One such occasion was when he handed me $500.00 to help with my wedding. Steve was there when I needed him and especially when nobody else was. This was the guy who would give you his car to use when yours broke down then if his car had problems while in your possession, he'd be right there to help you fix it and split the bill. He was not judgmental, he did what he promised, he was willing to come rescue you from any situation, and he always gave more than he took.

The last time I actually did anything with him was over a year ago when he flew me out to his place and we went fishing. Rewinding a little, he moved away in 05 and I regret now and til the day I die that I didn't make more of an effort to see him more often. He was always busy doing something so many of our plans to hang out got put off but I know that I could've made them happen if I'd just took matters into my own hands instead of waiting for the timing to be perfect. One thing I've learned is that you have to make time right now because waiting for the time to be right could end up costing you dearly. His funeral is this opening weekend.

There is the familiar saying, "better late than never". In my case it's better never wait til he's already late.

-Heu

p.s. give your best friend a call today

Sorry to hear that. It sounds like he was a hell of a friend. Hope attending the funeral helps you heal in some way.