Two hunters woke early and set out, with full gear, before first light. They drove out to their favorite woods, and starting walking in to their stands. About 300 yards in, one hunter grips his chest, turns pale, and falls dead to the ground. His friend is all in a panic, and calls 911.
911: Fire, Police or Medic?
Hunter: HELP! HELP! MY FRIEND IS DEAD !!!!! OH MY GOD, MY FRIEND
IS DEAD!!! WHAT DO I DO????
911:Sir, calm down. The first thing we need to do is make sure he's
really dead.

total silence on the line...... then
BANG !
Hunter: OK, now what???

Lol thats some funny ass ****.

hey i got a stoner joke for u (i'm not a stoner, my friend told me it) it is a stupid joke unless u imagine it like someone who is stoned....

There was two eggs sitting in a frying pan
one said "hey its getting hot in here"
the other said "AHHHHHH A TALKING EGG !!!!!!"

its stupid i know, but i think its funny.

Chic

My friends would think thats hillaries when there in la la land. They get so stupid.

lol both were horrible, i liked!

VERY CORNY, BUT I LIKED

you wouldn't believe some of the stories i have

i got one

two hunters walk into the woods. one is an old experienced hunter and the other is an ametuer. the old one tells the young'un to stay where he is while he goes into a thicket to scare up a big buck. "stay here and dont move or make a sound" says the old guy. So he walks into the thicket and right when hes puttin the sights on a good buck he hears. HOLY*%@#!!!!!!!! he runs out and asks the young'un what was the matter and he says- well, I didnt scream when that bear walked by, i didnt scream when that big rattler crawled across my boot, but hell i had to scream when them two squirrells climbed inside my pants and said to each other "NOW SHOULD WE EAT 'EM NOW OR TAKE 'EM AND SAVE 'EM FOR WINTER?"

I read the first one in Outdoor Canada a while back, still funny though

nice ill have to tell the egg one to my friends sometime when they are wasted