Visiting the south...... im worried.
02-05-2002 | 04:27 PM
#31
New Sheriff
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 4,592
Likes: 0
From: SW Arkansas
RE: Visiting the south...... im worried.
Ok Nascar, here is what you do immediately upon arrival in the south (you can trust me, right?)
1. Go up to the biggest, fattest hillbilly women you see and complement her on choice of tablecloth she now wears as a dress.
2. Give a big ol "YEEEEEEHAWWWWWWW", just so you'll fit in.
3. Find the nearest biker bar, walk in and scream at the top of your lungs, "Harley's suck and so does everyone who rides them!" You will get the piss beat out of you but will immediately earn the respect of all southerners.
4. When you get to the speedway, instead of ordering a beer at the stand, ask the guy to make you a Long Island Ice Tea, THEY WILL LOVE YOU!
5. And finally, while you're at the speedway, keep telling everyone around you how glad you are that Dale Earnhart is not around anymore because you think he "cheated" his way to most of his victory.
Don't worry. If you follow my instructions I am sure you will fit right in.
Edited by - mr4pt on 02/05/2002 17:28:15
1. Go up to the biggest, fattest hillbilly women you see and complement her on choice of tablecloth she now wears as a dress.
2. Give a big ol "YEEEEEEHAWWWWWWW", just so you'll fit in.
3. Find the nearest biker bar, walk in and scream at the top of your lungs, "Harley's suck and so does everyone who rides them!" You will get the piss beat out of you but will immediately earn the respect of all southerners.
4. When you get to the speedway, instead of ordering a beer at the stand, ask the guy to make you a Long Island Ice Tea, THEY WILL LOVE YOU!
5. And finally, while you're at the speedway, keep telling everyone around you how glad you are that Dale Earnhart is not around anymore because you think he "cheated" his way to most of his victory.
Don't worry. If you follow my instructions I am sure you will fit right in.
Edited by - mr4pt on 02/05/2002 17:28:15
02-05-2002 | 06:20 PM
#32
Thread Starter
Fork Horn
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 416
Likes: 0
From: port orchard WA
RE: Visiting the south...... im worried.
4pt, i knew i could always count on you to give me the straight scoop, you would never lead me astray... would ya... buddy?
by the way hows that special bus working out for you..... and doc says hi.
by the way hows that special bus working out for you..... and doc says hi.
02-05-2002 | 09:45 PM
#33
Typical Buck
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 871
Likes: 0
From: chattaahoochee fl
RE: Visiting the south...... im worried.
nascar88. the best bars are the ones that look like old tobacco barns with the Confederat flag panted on top. Just over look the bikes jackedup truck's and the blood stains in the parking lot. Most of theas establments have very libeal weapins carry rules some times thay will evan give you one if you show up at the door with out one
02-06-2002 | 03:45 PM
#39
New Sheriff
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 4,592
Likes: 0
From: SW Arkansas
RE: Visiting the south...... im worried.
Doc? Which Doc? There are so many ya know.
...and the bus. Well, I can't really tell because I sit in the front but it seems to be getting shorter and shorter. BTW-your sister keeps calling the driver a poopy-head. Did she learn that word from you?
...and the bus. Well, I can't really tell because I sit in the front but it seems to be getting shorter and shorter. BTW-your sister keeps calling the driver a poopy-head. Did she learn that word from you?
02-07-2002 | 12:38 AM
#40
Spike
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 4
Likes: 0
From: Fuquay-Varina, NC, U
RE: Visiting the south...... im worried.
A couple more quick tips when comming down south:
1. Bring your own spit cup.
2. Don't be rude, if my mother wants to borrow a chew,Share!
3. Don't ask my wife to cheat on me, you know brothers and sisters tell each other everything!
4. Don't ask what grits are made of!
5. You have to hold your own gun as my gun rack will only hold my sqirlell gun and my deer rifle!
6. last but not least, don't ask me to turn down my collar to see if my neck is really red!
PS, Gramma always gets shotgun, so get in the middle!
1. Bring your own spit cup.
2. Don't be rude, if my mother wants to borrow a chew,Share!
3. Don't ask my wife to cheat on me, you know brothers and sisters tell each other everything!
4. Don't ask what grits are made of!
5. You have to hold your own gun as my gun rack will only hold my sqirlell gun and my deer rifle!
6. last but not least, don't ask me to turn down my collar to see if my neck is really red!
PS, Gramma always gets shotgun, so get in the middle!