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Whats wrong with people?

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Old 02-06-2005, 02:26 PM
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Default Whats wrong with people?

I make friends, meet new people and they ask about my disabilitys so I tell them that my biggest disability is my heart that I have had 15 heart attacks, a quintuple bypass and my last heart attack the doctors tell me that there is nothing more that they can do and soon the new friends and others quit coming around and I never hear from them. I cant even get some one to go hunting or fishing with me, is it because they are afraid that I might have a heart attack and die? I mean so what if its my time and the good lord calls me home what the hell does that matter? I would love to have friends that I can hunt and fish with and do things with and have a great time with whats left of my life but because of my heart I am not allowed that part of life and it sucks. I do understand its very hard to see someone die and then to live with the feeling that maybe they could of done something to help but as it is now My life is practically nonexistant as I stay home with no where to go and no one to visit or do things with. I could under stand if I had a contagious disease that is fatal but I dont have anything any one can catch. I am grateful that I have all of you on this forum at least I have friends here that I can visit with and share storys, ask questions and what ever. I love you all and thanks for being my friend, God Bless Jimmy
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Old 02-06-2005, 05:16 PM
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Hey Jimmy,
You don't need friends like that. I have a few friends who know my disease as I have been open with them. Others I don't associate with. They are cowardly. You get heart attacks, I get strokes. So, yeah I know what you are talking about. People don't want to associate with me when I'm on steriods as it swells my face. It doesn't really bother me, I just do my stuff and leave.
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Old 02-06-2005, 07:24 PM
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Default RE: Whats wrong with people?

People are strange sometimes. Glad you find enjoyment in shootin the bull on the Hunting net. I have noticed that nobody wants me to do anything. If I start doing anything physical one of the friends or family will run and do it for me.
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Old 02-07-2005, 10:27 AM
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Default RE: Whats wrong with people?

Jimmy,I worked in law enforcement for 15 years and had a ton of "friends" on the job. We hunted and fished togeather for years untill I got sick. Now I only keep in contact with 2 of them since I ended up in a wheelchair! They are true friends! The answer to your question "POEPLE ARE FUNNY",what they don't understand scares them. Enjoy your life with or without your friends. Rember,you have friends right here...
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Old 02-07-2005, 12:44 PM
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Thank you all so much , you folks are the reason I hang out here. I consider all of you my friends, you have been there and understand what its like and you treat me like family, always ready to give advice, a pat on the back, a shoulder to cry on or just visit and thats special to me. I love you all like family and thanks for being there when I need you. What brought this post up was I had meet a Local sheriffs deputy on predator masters and he wanted a hunting partner and we discovered that we only lived 1/2 mile from each other so we met one night last september and visited and agreed to do some hunting together, when he came to pick me up he noticed the wheel chair ramp at my place and asked if I was disabled so I explained my disability to him and he suddenly decided that he didnt have time for a hunt so we went shinning for deer that night and I really enjoyed being with him and visiting, thats the last time I heard from him and when I call him his wife always says hes not home so again I was shot down. Thanks for letting me share my feelings with you. Jimmy
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Old 02-07-2005, 06:52 PM
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Default RE: Whats wrong with people?

1dahunter,

I think I know what you are going thru, remember I said I think. I know a young man who also has terrible heart problems, he had to retire very young from federal civil service.

He fishes alot and is quiet good, but rarely see him with anybody. I have offered/invited him to fish with me, but he has never taken me up on the offer and that's ok.

I heard exactly a comment semilar to what you have said. One day me and another friend was at the lake fishing when this man came up in his boat. We spoke and fished on. My buddy with me told me that he wouldn't want to fish with this man because of a very high chance of dieing from his heart problems. Don't get me wrong, I'm no saint myself, but this just hit a raw note with me. I told him that if he was a friend he would take him with him. Lord knows we can all die at anytime, can't worry about what may happen.

I also watched my father stop doing everything he loved because of major heart problems. We used camp at least one week for hunting and another week for fishing every year. After my father had major heart problems he quit going fishing/hunting. I'd ask him to go and his answer was always, "I don't want to be where an ambulance can't get to me if I need help." I guess I was to hard on my father because I told him that was no way to live. He lived 10 years after the first major surgery and had two more operations before he died. The sad thing is, he died not doing what he loved. I would have been honored to take my father with me.

Just someone that thinks he understands where you are and hope that a good friend will come along and stand by you.

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Old 02-07-2005, 07:38 PM
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Well, I must say you folks are a brave bunch. I can't say that I've been through the things any of you have, but I can tell you that the truth is that most people we consider our friends are really "fair weather" friends and on some level have an agenda. We just don't realize that there is an agenda until something goes wrong and we are no longer important to them.

I'm not being pessimistic, just stating a fact. That's why we should stay close our families, they are more apt to sincerely care for us - good, bad, and ugly. I know it's of no consolation but even though I have friends I can call or go hunt with I know should my circumstances ever change so too would the number of my "friends." This would happen whether something happened to me physically or financially.

Each of you have my respect, and take comfort in that there are others out there who really do care. Life is fragile and most people don't like to be reminded of this and some try to hide from such a reality - it's really because they are small in character that they avoid you. Try to forgive them for their shortcomings as best you can because it is these people that need pity in my estimation.

Best regards,
I live in New Jersey so if any of you live nearby perhaps we can hunt together. You can reach me via email at my website.

Ant
www.anthonypmaurosr.com
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Old 02-09-2005, 06:07 PM
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Thanks so much dog1 and apmaurosr it means alot to know that not everyone is like that and I can understand why some dont want to be around its just that they are missing one of the best friendships they will ever have due to their fears. Jimmy
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Old 02-12-2005, 12:31 AM
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Default RE: Whats wrong with people?

I'll tell ya what Jimmy. In my expericane, the folks that leave you hangin probably jsut don't know how to handle something like that in their mind so they would rather not deal with it at all. I don't think they are trying to be mean, they just don't know how to deal with somthing like that. Ya know,I stutter. Some people don't know how to handle that, so they just turn the other way and run. Their loss. I say good ridance. If they can't take the time to understand why would I want to be around them.

Also, I have a lot of friends, but their are only a few, and I mean less than a hand count who I choose to keep in contact with on a regular basis. Those are my true best friends.

But if you ever decide to come up to my neck of the woods, let me know we'll definatly go out huntin or fishin.
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Old 02-13-2005, 04:53 PM
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Jimmy, I had lots of friends at work. I now say they were good acquaintances. We did lots of things together. When my disability started to limit the things I could do with them, they just went on to someone else to be their friend. I think that most of the people I met just enjoyed doing the same things. When it came to doing it a little differently because of my disability, then I became a hindrance to them. The last few years at work were lonely.

However, now that I am totally disabled I have found new friends or acquaintances that are also disabled or are God sends to help the physically challenged. God has sent me to organizations for the physically challenged and now I am having more opportunities and as much fun as I did when I was able-bodied. God bless. Charlie
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