Funny Deer Story (Brief Nudity)
11-01-2006, 06:19 PM
#1
Fork Horn
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 285
Funny Deer Story (Brief Nudity)
I'll tell ya right now... this may be the closest thing to male nudity that's ever hit a hunting forum. Those who are squeemish should turn away now.[8D] Too funny not to share:
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I got a late start to the deer woods Monday because of the trapline, only having about 2 hours until dark I decided to try some bleating to raise my odds of popping a doe. 30 minutes into the hunt I belted out a few bleats but saw no response. 20 minutes later I tried again, this time a doe came cruising in to check out the whimpers. She came into a horrible spot, stopping 30 yards down a trail only offering me a low lung/ heart shot. I took the shot and came up about 1" too low- knicking her leg.
She ran away 75 yards and I started in again with the distressed fawn cries but cranked up the emotion a little. At that point she came charging in, stomping and snorting the whole way. I worked her into about 33 yards again but this time got a good broadside view. Having held the bow at full draw for over 2 minutes I unknowingly locked my elbow- when I cut the string loose I instantly felt the string bruise my forearm!! OUCH!
The arrow landed a little further back than I wanted.. but still seemed lethal. I waited 20 minutes (Dark now) and got down to inspect the scene. I found my arrow but it was too dark to see blood- of course in the true supersticious fashion of a professional guide I hunt without a light or knife just to make sure I need them!
I knocked an arrow and proceeded out the trail where the doe had ran. 10 minutes into the search I came to a log in the trail, I jumped up on it and bounced over to the next one. That next log turned it's head and looked up at me!!! DEER!!!
The doe had bedded down beside the treetop and was immobile. I drew back as I stood over her and pumped another broadhead through her chest cavity. Up she came- crashing off into the darkness! I wasn't suprised that she got up but I was suprised to see her make it 100 yards and go over a hill!
:
By this time I have dug out the little light on my keychain, I head for the last place I saw her. I pick up blood, nearly crawling on my knees to draw enough light, and follow it to a little swampy area. I had never seen this swamp before- so I was curious as to how big it was and where it went! The deer obviously went in but I was hesitant to follow... I walked the bank slowly with my cute little light in hand.
25 yards from where she went into the swam she had come back out- water and blood everywhere. Then 10 yards later she went back in... 30 yards later she came back out!! I knew this was going to be a long night so I packed up all my things and headed back to the truck.
By this time it's 8:30 and I have no phone service. I fired up the truck and drove 5 miles to a place where I get reception. The oldest brother was my lifeline, I dialed him up only to find he was tracking a deer himself. We made arrangements to meet up and gather these deer- we met in the middle but it was still a 30 minute drive for each of us.
First things first, we go collect the other deer. Shot by my niece's boyfriend- it was an easy find and simple drag. Then back up north to settle my swampy mess!
Four of us decended on the woods with lights, lanters and knives. After 1/2 mile of walking we reach the spot where my deer had flirted with the swamp water. Before I started to search for the bloodtrail again my curiousity struck me as to how big this swamp was. I dropped a flashlight on it and found it to be about 2 acres.... but wait... what's that?
Is that an eye out in the middle of it?! Ohhhhhhh crappppp!!! There she was, dead adrift the muddy water, entangled in driftwood and rotted treetops. It's 10:30 now, about 60 degrees and windy. Not exactly my favorite swimming conditions but I know nobody else is going in after this thing.[&o]
As I stood there pondering my options, my brother mummbles "We won't watch" in a sarcastic tone. I knew better but I went ahead and started stripping. It didn't take long for me to get down to my undies and set foot in the water. BRRRRRR that crap was cold!
I spent about five minutes standing at that magical depth... somewhere between knee deep and waiste high. Finally I just gave in and plunged out into the merky waters. Sticks, rocks, snapping turtles and an anaconda or two couldn't stop me now- I was on a mission.
As I got out into the water about 10 yards I heard a familiar sound. When I turned around I felt like a hollywood star- ahhh the wonders of camera phones! Snap-snap-snap echoed through the woods... my pasty white butt forever etched in Kodak Moments.
It took me about ten minutes to fish my doe out of the swamp and drag her back. I then gutted her and got dressed for the long drag out. The swim was refreshing suprisingly, the long drag helped warm me up and I felt fine once we got back to the truck.
Here are some pictures, courtesy of my brother, niece and hunting buddy. This has to be up in the top 10 of stupid things I've done for a deer![X(]
Just getting started... easing my way in.
Going full steam, in too deep to quit now!
Here she is, a pretty healthy doe. Should've had 160" of antler on her head after all that drama!
Hope you got a chuckle... I'll try to make that the last time mybutt is pictured on this site!
------------------------------------
I got a late start to the deer woods Monday because of the trapline, only having about 2 hours until dark I decided to try some bleating to raise my odds of popping a doe. 30 minutes into the hunt I belted out a few bleats but saw no response. 20 minutes later I tried again, this time a doe came cruising in to check out the whimpers. She came into a horrible spot, stopping 30 yards down a trail only offering me a low lung/ heart shot. I took the shot and came up about 1" too low- knicking her leg.
She ran away 75 yards and I started in again with the distressed fawn cries but cranked up the emotion a little. At that point she came charging in, stomping and snorting the whole way. I worked her into about 33 yards again but this time got a good broadside view. Having held the bow at full draw for over 2 minutes I unknowingly locked my elbow- when I cut the string loose I instantly felt the string bruise my forearm!! OUCH!
The arrow landed a little further back than I wanted.. but still seemed lethal. I waited 20 minutes (Dark now) and got down to inspect the scene. I found my arrow but it was too dark to see blood- of course in the true supersticious fashion of a professional guide I hunt without a light or knife just to make sure I need them!
I knocked an arrow and proceeded out the trail where the doe had ran. 10 minutes into the search I came to a log in the trail, I jumped up on it and bounced over to the next one. That next log turned it's head and looked up at me!!! DEER!!!
The doe had bedded down beside the treetop and was immobile. I drew back as I stood over her and pumped another broadhead through her chest cavity. Up she came- crashing off into the darkness! I wasn't suprised that she got up but I was suprised to see her make it 100 yards and go over a hill!
: By this time I have dug out the little light on my keychain, I head for the last place I saw her. I pick up blood, nearly crawling on my knees to draw enough light, and follow it to a little swampy area. I had never seen this swamp before- so I was curious as to how big it was and where it went! The deer obviously went in but I was hesitant to follow... I walked the bank slowly with my cute little light in hand.
25 yards from where she went into the swam she had come back out- water and blood everywhere. Then 10 yards later she went back in... 30 yards later she came back out!! I knew this was going to be a long night so I packed up all my things and headed back to the truck.
By this time it's 8:30 and I have no phone service. I fired up the truck and drove 5 miles to a place where I get reception. The oldest brother was my lifeline, I dialed him up only to find he was tracking a deer himself. We made arrangements to meet up and gather these deer- we met in the middle but it was still a 30 minute drive for each of us.
First things first, we go collect the other deer. Shot by my niece's boyfriend- it was an easy find and simple drag. Then back up north to settle my swampy mess!
Four of us decended on the woods with lights, lanters and knives. After 1/2 mile of walking we reach the spot where my deer had flirted with the swamp water. Before I started to search for the bloodtrail again my curiousity struck me as to how big this swamp was. I dropped a flashlight on it and found it to be about 2 acres.... but wait... what's that?
Is that an eye out in the middle of it?! Ohhhhhhh crappppp!!! There she was, dead adrift the muddy water, entangled in driftwood and rotted treetops. It's 10:30 now, about 60 degrees and windy. Not exactly my favorite swimming conditions but I know nobody else is going in after this thing.[&o]
As I stood there pondering my options, my brother mummbles "We won't watch" in a sarcastic tone. I knew better but I went ahead and started stripping. It didn't take long for me to get down to my undies and set foot in the water. BRRRRRR that crap was cold!
I spent about five minutes standing at that magical depth... somewhere between knee deep and waiste high. Finally I just gave in and plunged out into the merky waters. Sticks, rocks, snapping turtles and an anaconda or two couldn't stop me now- I was on a mission.
As I got out into the water about 10 yards I heard a familiar sound. When I turned around I felt like a hollywood star- ahhh the wonders of camera phones! Snap-snap-snap echoed through the woods... my pasty white butt forever etched in Kodak Moments.
It took me about ten minutes to fish my doe out of the swamp and drag her back. I then gutted her and got dressed for the long drag out. The swim was refreshing suprisingly, the long drag helped warm me up and I felt fine once we got back to the truck.
Here are some pictures, courtesy of my brother, niece and hunting buddy. This has to be up in the top 10 of stupid things I've done for a deer![X(]
Just getting started... easing my way in.
Going full steam, in too deep to quit now!
Here she is, a pretty healthy doe. Should've had 160" of antler on her head after all that drama!
Hope you got a chuckle... I'll try to make that the last time mybutt is pictured on this site!
11-01-2006, 06:39 PM
#6
Nontypical Buck
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Michigan
Posts: 4,693
RE: Funny Deer Story (Brief Nudity)
Now THAT was funny. I'll give you all due respect - I would have drove hours to get my waders to avoid that scenario.
This though...
This though...
I spent about five minutes standing at that magical depth... somewhere between knee deep and waiste high. Finally I just gave in and plunged out into the merky waters. Sticks, rocks, snapping turtles and an anaconda or two couldn't stop me now- I was on a mission.
11-01-2006, 06:40 PM
#8
Fork Horn
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 285
RE: Funny Deer Story (Brief Nudity)
Haha, thanks guys! One of the funniest things (To me) is how I managed to screw up that deer so many times! I am a professional guide for crying out loud- I gripe at clients who make silly shots all the time.
This was one of my first chances to hunt alone this year because I have been so busy filming and guiding...and I fool around and act like a kid with his first deer! LOL! The first arrow just knicked the hair on her inner leg... second one clipped both lungs and the third one (Actually first arrow again) went down through the liver and into one lung. The cold water chilled her right out- it wasway toowarm to leave a fallen deer over night... so we pushed extra hard to find them as soon as possible!
It was a great time though... one I won't forget for years to come.
This was one of my first chances to hunt alone this year because I have been so busy filming and guiding...and I fool around and act like a kid with his first deer! LOL! The first arrow just knicked the hair on her inner leg... second one clipped both lungs and the third one (Actually first arrow again) went down through the liver and into one lung. The cold water chilled her right out- it wasway toowarm to leave a fallen deer over night... so we pushed extra hard to find them as soon as possible!
It was a great time though... one I won't forget for years to come.
11-01-2006, 06:56 PM
#9
Boone & Crockett
Join Date: Oct 1998
Location: Hughesville, PA USA
Posts: 18,322
RE: Funny Deer Story (Brief Nudity)
Great job on the recover, a little misguided in the begining with a very happy funny ending....LOL
The "
"..too funny been there too, it's always just better to plunge in...
The "
magical depth... somewhere between knee deep and waist
11-01-2006, 06:58 PM
#10
Fork Horn
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 348
RE: Funny Deer Story (Brief Nudity)
Too funny!! I think this thread needs to be shown to the ones that post ..."I shot a deer and now I can't find it". This is how you track a deer and recover by golly! Who needs them stinkin waders?!!
I gotta say.....you got bigger cahunas than me doing what you did.......well maybe not now..... depending on how cold the water was.
Congrats
I gotta say.....you got bigger cahunas than me doing what you did.......well maybe not now..... depending on how cold the water was.
Congrats