some hunting jokes
07-08-2004 | 08:12 PM
#1
Thread Starter
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 204
Likes: 0
From:
some hunting jokes
1. Ray and Bobby were dragging
the deer they had just shot
back to their truck. Another
hunter approached, pulling
his along too.
"Hey, I don't want to tell
you how to do something," he
said, " But I can tell you
that it's much easier if you
drag the deer in the other
direction. Then the antlers
won't dig into the ground."
After the third hunter
left, they decided to try
it. A little while later Ray
said to Bobby, "You know,
that guy was right. This is
a lot easier!"
"Yeah," replies Bobby. "But
we're getting farther from
the truck."
2. How to tell the species of bear you are looking at:
Go over to him, and kick him in the behind. Run up a nearby tree. If he climbs the tree and kills you, he's a black bear. If he knocks the tree down and kills you, he's a grizzly.
the deer they had just shot
back to their truck. Another
hunter approached, pulling
his along too.
"Hey, I don't want to tell
you how to do something," he
said, " But I can tell you
that it's much easier if you
drag the deer in the other
direction. Then the antlers
won't dig into the ground."
After the third hunter
left, they decided to try
it. A little while later Ray
said to Bobby, "You know,
that guy was right. This is
a lot easier!"
"Yeah," replies Bobby. "But
we're getting farther from
the truck."
2. How to tell the species of bear you are looking at:
Go over to him, and kick him in the behind. Run up a nearby tree. If he climbs the tree and kills you, he's a black bear. If he knocks the tree down and kills you, he's a grizzly.
07-14-2004 | 11:05 PM
#5
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 118
Likes: 0
From: Crawfordsville, Indiana
RE: some hunting jokes
k u guys have some good ones but.......im afraid im gonna have to drop the bomb on ya. here we go!!!
The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a San Francisco State University graduate from an upper-crust family; well-bred, well-connected and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a redneck from Texas A & M. Go figure.
The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word “Timbuktu.”
The San Francisco State graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started he jumped up and recited the following poem:
“'Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked the dusty caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination -- Timbuktu.”
The audience went wild! How, they wondered if the redneck could top that?! The clock started again and the redneck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited:
“Tim and me, a-huntin' went.
Met three whores in a pop-up tent.
They was three, we was two,
So I bucked one and Timbuktu”
The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a San Francisco State University graduate from an upper-crust family; well-bred, well-connected and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a redneck from Texas A & M. Go figure.
The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word “Timbuktu.”
The San Francisco State graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started he jumped up and recited the following poem:
“'Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked the dusty caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination -- Timbuktu.”
The audience went wild! How, they wondered if the redneck could top that?! The clock started again and the redneck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited:
“Tim and me, a-huntin' went.
Met three whores in a pop-up tent.
They was three, we was two,
So I bucked one and Timbuktu”
07-18-2004 | 04:01 PM
#8
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 41
Likes: 0
From: South Dakota
RE: some hunting jokes
all of them are good but listen to this one.
Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it.
The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat.
Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin.
The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another!"
Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it.
The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat.
Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin.
The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another!"
