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Hard decisions

Old 01-13-2011, 10:12 AM
  #11  
Typical Buck
 
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Your hunting may change, doesn't mean it will end,
You will just have to go further and less often,
I'll still have lots of lands to hunt, how far is pike cty from chicago?
Learn the state lands,
As for work? Chicago still is a commodities center, maybe can still find work in ag in chicago or nearby, wholesaler/distributor, national/int'l sales etc..
As for your guns, its chicago, don't forget to check regs to keep your guns legal.
Also, maybe as a compromise, as a place to live, look for suburbs closer in direction of statelands,she can commute 45mins-1hr or so, and can place you that much closer to hunting lands
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Old 01-13-2011, 10:12 AM
  #12  
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You couldn't pay me enough to move to ****cago,gang infested trash of a city should be bulldozed to the ground and taken off the map.
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Old 01-13-2011, 10:14 AM
  #13  
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pike county is a good ways away from chitcago.
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Old 01-13-2011, 12:51 PM
  #14  
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Originally Posted by Hunter4Life43 View Post
Thanks for the help guys..She likes the job shes at now but she wants to move on to bigger and better which i understand. But there are so many other places she could go that doesnt have the high cost of living and where i could get a job. I love my job i have now and she knows i really dont want to leave but we both agreed that if either one of us gets a transfer or a job offer we would both re-locate. Im not saying i dont want to move i just love the country lifestyle to much.
Bigger is not always better and money is not everything. Let her go alone for a while and see how it works out. Go visit and stay when you can. Going to the city to visit is fun sometimes but Living in the city will suck.
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Old 01-13-2011, 01:01 PM
  #15  
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Without trying to be offensive, this is something that you two should have worked out long before you got engaged. You knew before today that she was a PA and you knew before today what that entails. This discussion should have happened long before you proposed.

My own personal situation is very similar to yours, except our roles are reversed, I am the one with the "moving jobs", and she's the one who is forced to follow me around the country. I grew up on a large farm and ranch (10,000+ acre cattle operation and just under 10,000acres of crop ground), but I went to college, got a great job, and moved where the jobs took me. When I met my fiancee, within the first few months when things got serious, we sat down and had the discussion, "look, if I get a different job, we might have to move far away. If that works for you, then great, but if not, then this has been fun, but let's not waste any more time".

I miss living on the farm, and I miss walking out my back door, jumping on a colt and riding out across pastures with a rifle shooting every coyote I see. But I don't miss it more than I love my wife. Plus, the salary I'm making because of the job means I can provide a better life for my wife and kids than I could have if I stayed home on the farm. When the kids get school age, then I'll look for a different job where we can be closer to family and be out in a rural school. Also, the higher "city salary" has helped me buy more and more land "back home", which I rent out, that someday we can either retire on, or sell to buy land somewhere else to retire on.

For YOUR situation, My estimates (knowing a little about PA's and ag salesmen) is that 1) she's the majority bread-winner in the household 2) location will effect HER salary MUCH moreso than yours and 3) HER getting a good job early in life will open more doors for re-locating and higher salaries than keeping your ag sales job will. Not trying to be offensive, but those are the facts. Following her where her job takes her will mean a MUCH higher standard of living for your kids than staying on the farm.

In rural areas, jobs for PA's aren't widely available and usually mean lower pay for longer hours than the same job "in the city" would mean, and they'll be MUCH less impressive on the resume than the "big city" jobs. Despite your current opinion, there ARE rural areas around Chicago and there ARE Ag sales jobs around Chicago (coming from a guy working for a major ag seed producer "in the city").

A job isn't "forever". But when you asked her to marry you, you planned on HER being "forever". Moving to Chicago today and making a better salary for a while might give her leverage to demand better salaries later if you guys decide to move to a more rural area. Money might not be everything, but it DOES mean things like providing a better life for your spouse, or providing a better life for your children.

On the other hand, you might take this time to ask yourself why you wanted to marry her in the first place. Your post basically paints the picture that you either love hunting more than you love her and/or you are more afraid of leaving home than you love her. Either one of those alone kind of suggests that you made a mistake and were wrong about your own feelings. Or maybe you're just getting cold feet...

At the end of the day, my opinion is to change out of your skirt, put on your big boy pants, man up, and marry the girl you love and move with her to Chicago.
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Old 01-13-2011, 05:03 PM
  #16  
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Good Post by Nomercy. Alot of good advice in there. That being said... I couldnt move to chicago. I've been there on a few mission trips. And, while I loved working there and helping ppl for a week or so, I CANT imagine living there. I wake up, step out onto my porch and see a pond and some fields. I cant imagine looking out to a full busy street. It'd be unhealthy for me I think
-jake
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Old 01-13-2011, 09:31 PM
  #17  
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Easily the greatest city in the Midwest.
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Old 01-14-2011, 04:35 PM
  #18  
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No its not that i dont love her and id give up hunting any day for the girl. But when your dad unexpectantly passes away and you and a younger brother are left a 6000 acre farm its hard to leave. My brother is 2 years younger than me and we run the farm now. (with help from an uncle and cousin) but they also have full time jobs and only help when time allows. So i think i stepped into the big boy boots a long time ago. We also talked about the moving situation long before my dad passed because for me to reach my life long goal of becoming a manager of an ag retail business it meant re-location but that was long before i had to take over our family farm. She had to work at the location she is at now for 2 years because they paid for her schooling. But when we talked about re-location we both agreed we would move somewhere where we could both find jobs easily. Ive never lived in the city or been around the city other than visiting the only thing im worried about is im not so sure its where i want to raise my kids and then the only life they know is city life and when we come back home to visit they absolutely hate the country life. I know where i came from and how i was raised that will never leave me but for me not being able to bring my kids up in the environment i was raised in could lead to them not wanting to come around as often when they are older. Im not the only one upset and stressed about this she is to, she doesnt want to move either and she has been driving herself crazy trying to find something different but times are tough and jobs are hard to come by. As of today my boss is working on me to get a transfer to a different location within our company.
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Old 01-15-2011, 06:37 PM
  #19  
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Why does she even have to work? I've been married 21 years and my wife has never worked. Easy? Absolutely not! But absolutely worth it to us! She homeschools our children and keeps house while I earn our living. It just takes some prioritizing and knowing how to live within your means. Just another perspective......
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Old 01-16-2011, 06:29 AM
  #20  
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well born2climb that is great for you but doesn't work for most people. And I have to say I commend you for doing that.

As for the subject in hand.. I have lived for 17 years in a village and grew up on a farm. My wife grew up here, anyways I hate it everyday. My family farm isn't but 20 minutes away and that is where I keep my beagles and elk.

2x a year me and the wife have it out (just so she knows how I feel, LOL) and then I put it on the back burner and go on. I tell her my next wife will have to sign a contract LOL, we get along great that way.

Anyways, you really have to figure out what YOU want to do. Right now you come first. YOU only have 1 shot at this life and it is up to you to make the most of it. Make a list of pro's and con's for you, thats not selfish when it is your life. I would hate to see someone else pissed off everyday. Good luck.
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