My fiancee against hunting. I duck hunt all the time with my dad and she doesn't like that but she never says anything about me going. However, when it was time for deer season and I told her I was going she became very sad and angry. She says that I promised her when we started dating (five years ago) that I would not shoot a deer. I do not remember makig this promise but here sister says I did. If I do shoot a deer it could mess up our whole relationship. Anyone ever have this problem and if so what did you do? Any advice would be great. Thanks.

Well which is more important to you? Hunting or her? She will not change her mind, so you need to make a decision one way or the other, if it is deer hunting, just be honest and tell her this is something you do and is part of you and she can take it or leave it, if it is her, you can send me your gun and camo.

The Tazman aka Martin Price
Founder and President of
Virginia Disabled Outdoorsmen Club

Well if you want to hunt your going to have to leave her. If you want to be with her your going to have to quit the hunting. If you stay with her don't send your stuff to tazman send it to me THANKS!!!

Call her bluff.....and if it isn't a bluff, then look for a new woman. Had a good friend that quit hunting because his wife had "problems" with him going out after deer. They ended up getting divorced and he regretted missing 10 seasons. (Not to mention the child support, head ache of a divorce etc).

Marriage equals comprimise but in no way is it healthly to try and change one persons life. If you don't nip this you'll have regret and most likely a poor life together. I would suggest being honest with both her and yourself. If either of you can't reach a happy medium you'll be better off finding out now than later. I am sure things she does or enjoys, you don't...try and assimulate this with your love of hunting. Make sure to say you support her and love her for her individualism (they like that). Then get to the meat(pun) of why you like hunting and how it makes you feel. You can say I am the man you love and want to marry and hunting is a part of me....why the change of heart now. tell her she don't have to like it, enjoy or partake in it...just support it. Listen I have had many a pal who was in the same situation with the girlfriend/wife and all of them now are either moved on, but in most cases happily ever after. You will have to comprimise your hunting time when married this will be a fact, but you shouldn't have to walk away from some thing you enjoy and love b/c of it(marriage). No good will come of it...I gaurantee, if you truly enjoy hunting, nothing but regret and anger..which will result in divorce and more anger or one unhappy life as man/wife. I am married and I know that it is struggle at times just to keep it a float...but if I had to choose wife or hunting...I would be signing checks. thanks god that isn't a concern...but you catch my drift.

We all know the true way to a mans heart "Ain't through his stomach", but in fact somewhere else and hunting!

If she isn't happy with your hunting now, she won't ever be happy, and neither will you. Hunting takes a lot of time and money out of a marriage, and if you think she is unhappy now, you ain't seen nothing yet.

Better figure it out now. My wife is great about hunting. She even suggest days that I can go. This all started when we were dating. She doesn't like hunting but she knows I love it. She does her thing all year (antiques) and I remind her that my time is coming and she is OK with that. One of my buddies has a wife that threatens to divorce him if he goes. He begs to go once or twice a year and it tears him up because his wife gives him so much greif. If this is something you love, then she should understand that and allow you to go instead of changing you. It will only get worse after your married especially after kids come along. Better get it straight now before you say "I do" and she says "NO YOU DON'T". This is just my opinion but let me know when the wedding is and I'll make you a fair offer for your gun and gear. You won't be using them after the honeymoon. Allen

Its time for a new fiancee. Or if she is really that great then a new hobby. Honestly I think its the former. I agree that it WILL GET WORSE!! So you really have to choose between the deer and the beaver.

This may be a symptom of a something deeper. About this I am actually serious. Good luck. Oh, if the gun and camo is spoken for do you have any good skinning knives or a good stand?

"Size isn't important, but it HELPS!!!"

One way or another, man you and she REALLY need to sit and talk about this. I would suggest to you to find out what it is about DEER hunting that bothers her so. Is it fear of accident, being away from you, or the "awww, you killed Bambi" effect? Figuring this out can make all the difference in the world. My wife is not SUPER pro-hunting, but that is based on her fear of hunting accidents. She likes to eat deer. Fortunately, there is much info out there that can be used to convince her that its not nearly as dangerous as she thinks. Basically, find out what bothers her so much and see if you can re-assure her.
In general though, I agree with the other posts. I have been married for five years now. We both realize and agree that what is important to one should be important to both. Doesnt mean she has to like it or go with me. Just dont tell me I cant go. Good Luck man.


One Shot, One Kill
Hunting is the one sport where, if you are playing right, the other team doesn't even know you're playing.

Before you can be a "couple", you have to be a strong "individual". If hunting is part of you she needs to accept that, not try to change you into something she thinks she wants you to be. Even though it sounds harsh, I agree with the responces you are getting. If you try to change into what she wants you to be, to make her happy...you are going to be miserable for as long as you are with her, and if you eventually have kids, you will still have to deal with her occassionally from now on. Talk this through with her and find out exactly what her objections are. If she is not misinformed, remember you have to accept her as she is too. If she "doesnt want to talk about it", she's a game player who wants to control you by "taking her ball and going home" when things dont go her way. If that is her responce, run and dont look back.