bronko22000

I'll start. Several years ago my uncle (God rest his soul) and my friend were hunting an island in the Susquehanna river. Later in the morning things got slow so my uncle and I decided to walk around the island and my dog following us as heel. We were hoping to jump some ducks along the shore line. As we were coming back toward the blind maybe about 75 yards away we could see my friend outside the blind and he was taking a leak! What we also noticed is there were some mallards coming up the river right at the blind. We both hollered "ducks" . We could see my friend watching them and my uncle in is usual quick wit yell to him..."well are you gonna shoot them or s#$#w them?" He never did get a shot off as he was too busy with his "other gun" My friend and I laugh about this to this day

MudderChuck

We were Teal hunting, mostly pass shooting. One of our regulars brought his new girlfriend with him. I kind of wondered when I saw she was wearing all white and most of us were dressed for dirt and mud. The teal were coming through low and slow against the wind, one or a few would come through every fifteen minutes or so. My buddy stands with his girlfriend and helps her with technique and safety instructions. A Teal flying right at her, she pulls the trigger, the Teal was close and it was a good hit. It arches down and the dead Teal hits her right in the stomach. She starts doing the pee pee dance, then she starts squealing loudly. I thought it was excitement until she turned around and I saw her face, the look of terror, and the giant blood splotch on the front of her white blouse. We all congratulated her on a good shot, she had that thousand-yard stare and was in total shock. We still rib my buddy about it years later, comments like, do you ever hear from what's her name, did you ever get laid.

bronko22000

Mudder that reminds me of another similar story. I took this young man out for ducks. It was early in the season and for some reason we were separated. I was standing along the shoreline of the river bank and he was on the edge of the water on a point of land that jutted out into the river about 50 yards from me. A pair of woodies were coming up the river fairly high. I picked one out swung on it an fired. The duck folded cleanly and was arching down directly at my young companion. He had on a camo jacket with pretty big pockets and he had some shells in the pocket allowing it to be open at the top. As the duck got closer and closer he just stood there watching it (like a deer in the headlights). At the last second he turned his body and the duck dropped right into his pocket. I laughed and yelled to him "Good doggie, bring it here boy!"

TN Lone Wolf

This is a secondhand story from my duck group, more mildly amusing than funny.

During the season before last, some of my group invited a buddy who'd never been duck hunting before. They were trying to teach him all the ins and outs of duck blind etiquette, but they either missed one crucial thing or he got too excited. As daylight broke, the callers started trying to bring in some of the groups they were seeing. Of course, being well into season, they only had a bunch of high passes but no groups committing to landing. They told the newbie to keep his head down and be still when the groups were working, keep his gun down until directed, etc. etc. Finally, a group of about 10-12 mallards started working lower and lower, and as they looked like they would loop back around front at the far end of the hole, one of the callers whispered "Get ready." To anyone with any experience, that means "grab your gun and be ready to jump up through the brush on cue." To the newbie, that evidently meant for him to jump up, shotgun shouldered, swinging it wildly around at the ducks that immediately flared and vanished. The rest of the guys briefly gave him a hard time about it, but he learned pretty quickly.

bronko22000

TN I sort of had the same thing but the opposite reaction. Me and a friend took this newbie out. Just like you it was late in the season. The 3 of us were sitting in the blind and I saw a lone duck coming up the river. I could tell it was either a black duck or a hen mallard and it was high. I started high balling it and it turned toward and I started to chuckle at it. It passed by and I give a come back call. This went on for a couple minutes with it circling the dekes. Finally it locked up, dropped altitude and was coming in and was perfect. Coming right at us at about 30 yards and as it saw something it didn't like and started to climb I said now wanting our newbie to shoot. He just sat there and watched it fly away. I said why didn't you shoot. He replied I was waiting for it to land. I told him you don't shoot ducks on the water and it don't get any better than that! My friend was just looking at him in disbelief!!

EnyaRi

I'll better post a funny joke here Two deer-est friends (get it?!) decided to try hunting for the first time, and separated to increases their chances. "What if we get lost?" says one of them. "Fire three shots up in the air, every hour on the hour" says the other. "I saw it on TV." Sure enough, one of the hunters gets lost, so he fires three shots up into the air every hour on the hour. The next day the other hunter finds his friend with the help of the Forest Ranger. "Did you do what I said?" asked the hunter. "Yes, I fired three shots up into the air every hour on the hour, until I ran out of arrows."