Whats wrong with people?
 

I make friends, meet new people and they ask about my disabilitys so I tell them that my biggest disability is my heart that I have had 15 heart attacks, a quintuple bypass and my last heart attack the doctors tell me that there is nothing more that they can do and soon the new friends and others quit coming around and I never hear from them. I cant even get some one to go hunting or fishing with me, is it because they are afraid that I might have a heart attack and die? I mean so what if its my time and the good lord calls me home what the hell does that matter? I would love to have friends that I can hunt and fish with and do things with and have a great time with whats left of my life but because of my heart I am not allowed that part of life and it sucks. I do understand its very hard to see someone die and then to live with the feeling that maybe they could of done something to help but as it is now My life is practically nonexistant as I stay home with no where to go and no one to visit or do things with. I could under stand if I had a contagious disease that is fatal but I dont have anything any one can catch. I am grateful that I have all of you on this forum at least I have friends here that I can visit with and share storys, ask questions and what ever. I love you all and thanks for being my friend, God Bless Jimmy

RE: Whats wrong with people?
 

Hey Jimmy,
You don't need friends like that. I have a few friends who know my disease as I have been open with them. Others I don't associate with. They are cowardly. You get heart attacks, I get strokes. So, yeah I know what you are talking about. People don't want to associate with me when I'm on steriods as it swells my face. It doesn't really bother me, I just do my stuff and leave.

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People are strange sometimes. Glad you find enjoyment in shootin the bull on the Hunting net. I have noticed that nobody wants me to do anything. If I start doing anything physical one of the friends or family will run and do it for me.

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Jimmy,I worked in law enforcement for 15 years and had a ton of "friends" on the job. We hunted and fished togeather for years untill I got sick. Now I only keep in contact with 2 of them since I ended up in a wheelchair! They are true friends! The answer to your question "POEPLE ARE FUNNY",what they don't understand scares them. Enjoy your life with or without your friends. Rember,you have friends right here...;)

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Thank you all so much , you folks are the reason I hang out here. I consider all of you my friends, you have been there and understand what its like and you treat me like family, always ready to give advice, a pat on the back, a shoulder to cry on or just visit and thats special to me. I love you all like family and thanks for being there when I need you. What brought this post up was I had meet a Local sheriffs deputy on predator masters and he wanted a hunting partner and we discovered that we only lived 1/2 mile from each other so we met one night last september and visited and agreed to do some hunting together, when he came to pick me up he noticed the wheel chair ramp at my place and asked if I was disabled so I explained my disability to him and he suddenly decided that he didnt have time for a hunt so we went shinning for deer that night and I really enjoyed being with him and visiting, thats the last time I heard from him and when I call him his wife always says hes not home so again I was shot down. Thanks for letting me share my feelings with you. Jimmy

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1dahunter,

I think I know what you are going thru, remember I said I think. I know a young man who also has terrible heart problems, he had to retire very young from federal civil service.

He fishes alot and is quiet good, but rarely see him with anybody. I have offered/invited him to fish with me, but he has never taken me up on the offer and that's ok.

I heard exactly a comment semilar to what you have said. One day me and another friend was at the lake fishing when this man came up in his boat. We spoke and fished on. My buddy with me told me that he wouldn't want to fish with this man because of a very high chance of dieing from his heart problems. Don't get me wrong, I'm no saint myself, but this just hit a raw note with me. I told him that if he was a friend he would take him with him. Lord knows we can all die at anytime, can't worry about what may happen.

I also watched my father stop doing everything he loved because of major heart problems. We used camp at least one week for hunting and another week for fishing every year. After my father had major heart problems he quit going fishing/hunting. I'd ask him to go and his answer was always, "I don't want to be where an ambulance can't get to me if I need help." I guess I was to hard on my father because I told him that was no way to live. He lived 10 years after the first major surgery and had two more operations before he died. The sad thing is, he died not doing what he loved. I would have been honored to take my father with me.

Just someone that thinks he understands where you are and hope that a good friend will come along and stand by you.

dog1

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Well, I must say you folks are a brave bunch. I can't say that I've been through the things any of you have, but I can tell you that the truth is that most people we consider our friends are really "fair weather" friends and on some level have an agenda. We just don't realize that there is an agenda until something goes wrong and we are no longer important to them.

I'm not being pessimistic, just stating a fact. That's why we should stay close our families, they are more apt to sincerely care for us - good, bad, and ugly. I know it's of no consolation but even though I have friends I can call or go hunt with I know should my circumstances ever change so too would the number of my "friends." This would happen whether something happened to me physically or financially.

Each of you have my respect, and take comfort in that there are others out there who really do care. Life is fragile and most people don't like to be reminded of this and some try to hide from such a reality - it's really because they are small in character that they avoid you. Try to forgive them for their shortcomings as best you can because it is these people that need pity in my estimation.

Best regards,
I live in New Jersey so if any of you live nearby perhaps we can hunt together. You can reach me via email at my website.

Ant
www.anthonypmaurosr.com

RE: Whats wrong with people?
 

Thanks so much dog1 and apmaurosr it means alot to know that not everyone is like that and I can understand why some dont want to be around its just that they are missing one of the best friendships they will ever have due to their fears. Jimmy

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I'll tell ya what Jimmy. In my expericane, the folks that leave you hangin probably jsut don't know how to handle something like that in their mind so they would rather not deal with it at all. I don't think they are trying to be mean, they just don't know how to deal with somthing like that. Ya know,I stutter. Some people don't know how to handle that, so they just turn the other way and run. Their loss. I say good ridance. If they can't take the time to understand why would I want to be around them.

Also, I have a lot of friends, but their are only a few, and I mean less than a hand count who I choose to keep in contact with on a regular basis. Those are my true best friends.

But if you ever decide to come up to my neck of the woods, let me know we'll definatly go out huntin or fishin.

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Jimmy, I had lots of friends at work. I now say they were good acquaintances. We did lots of things together. When my disability started to limit the things I could do with them, they just went on to someone else to be their friend. I think that most of the people I met just enjoyed doing the same things. When it came to doing it a little differently because of my disability, then I became a hindrance to them. The last few years at work were lonely.

However, now that I am totally disabled I have found new friends or acquaintances that are also disabled or are God sends to help the physically challenged. God has sent me to organizations for the physically challenged and now I am having more opportunities and as much fun as I did when I was able-bodied. God bless. Charlie

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You all are very wonderful people and I appreciate that you took the time to respond, That means alot to me. I am blessed to have friends like you! Thanks all. God Bless Jimmy

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Honestly I cant say as though i know what you are going through, but what i do know is all your friends or old friends were douche-bags! I have you back man and anytime you need somebody to talk to you can call or whatever. My family is the same way with my grandfather... my grandmother passed away about a year ago and nobody even visits him anymore. I spent the WHOLE summer fishing and shooting the bull and im a better young man for it. These people dont know what they are missing. E-Mail me if you wanna talk [email protected] id love to hear about your life you have been through much more than I!

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that does suck, you know you said it yourself they are affraid that you would have a heart attack during an outing. I'm 24 years old and disabled but my illness isnt terminal, I can get better atleast thats what they tell me. With the right medication and time and the couselling I recieve my doctors feel very positive that I will get better in do time. Anyway my bestfriend and hunting companion is also disabled hes 64 years old and has had many heart attacks and open heart surgery atleast 2 times that i know of. I dont let that stop me from going hunting with him, if i dont go with him he would go anyway lol :D, If he were to have a heart attack while hunting id rather be with him to be there to help, if he were to die atleast i was there doing everything in my power to help, I rather that be the case then one day find out he was hunting alone and had a heart attack and noone was around to help, with that thought I couldnt live with that. So when ever he calls me up to go hunting you bet your butt im there not only for the hunt but to be his true friend especially if he did need help hes always been there for me so i feel its my duty to always be there for him. with the limited time left of my friends life, I want to spend asmany great days hunting as possible with him, so when the inevitable day comes I can look back at all the great memories we shared.

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Highdesertwolf you are one of a few. my hat is off to you friend. your friend has indeed a best friend and I really hope he knows how special you really are. If your friend is like me if I'm gonna die I'd rather it be while I'm out doing what I love with my best friend. I would be honored if you consider joining my group which is dedicated to disabled and handicapped outdoors persons. http://groups.msn.com/thedisabledlife check it out. Thanks so much Jimmy

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Well jim if your like me you give up and that worry's people they do not want to do CPR
but me I dont care if it happen it happen. I passed doing what I loved doing Hunting next to bein with my Wife children and grandchildren. Give ..... and enjoy life. I am..

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Hey Bowhunter
I just aint gonna give up I go hunting and shooting by myself most times and your right I know that most people dont want to give cpr and thats ok with me they dont have to as far as Im concerned if its my time then Im gonna go anyway. Im not gonna sit in my rocker and wait for the grim reaper he will have to catch me. Check out my site and join if you like, Thanks Jimmy
http://groups.msn.com/thedisabledlife

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You ever make it to Colorado look me up hell I will hunt fish camp shine deer whatever with ya. I hunt 2nd season unit 12

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Thanks so much just knowing that there are people out there that do care and will spend time with you. You can bet If I ever get a chance to make it there I will let you know Thanks again! Jimmy
Forgot to mention thats one hell of a rack! Congrats!

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Jimmy, I feel your anguish.
My injury was nearly six years ago and I had to learn people all over. In life alone there are people that look at you or treat you different. If I still lived in Connecticut I don't think I would hunt at all (besides that there might not be hunting land there at all soon[:@]) Atleast here in the sticks of Missouri people are not so bad, yes there are a few that look at you funny or maybe say, "you hunt?" or "you can't handle that". IMHO those the ones that are on the power trip of killing wildlife. The outdoorsman are the ones that reach out and say let's go and help you or challenge you positively. Like one hunting buddy that owns a piece of land next to me, he passed down to me my first BP gun and said you can and start here and my other friend that has helped me with more than just hunting. it helps that our wives hit it off well too.
Anyway I digress, I will take the one or two in maybe thousands overall that are willing to reach out and help. It makes it easier to take the higher percentage of ones the look down their noses at you. Let's talk when I get that trophy;)

Andy

Hunt Smart, Hunt Safe!

RE: Whats wrong with people?
 

You got that trophy yet? You are right there is probably only one or two in a thousand and I thank God for them. I have one here that is super he takes me out and sets me up then he goes and does a drive towards me and its because of him that I have been successful in my deer hunting. I only have public land to hunt and if it wasnt for him Id never see any deer. I havent been so fortunate in my squirrel or coon hunting as I cant keep up with the dogs LOL. I am going to try and do some coyote hunting and see if I can call any in to me but first I gotta find public land with coyotes near. Andy it was great to hear from you. Jimmy

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Good time friends are a dime a dozen.True friends are few .Even the old customers that trusted me to work in their homes,since I am disabled with a type of Arthritis in the rheumatoid family, it seems that they are afraid to
talk to me.
People wonder why we spend a lot of time alone ,it is a lot more comfortable than with the good time friends.I hope you all find a good hunting buddy. Best, Mike

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Thanks DEADEYEONE Im so used to going alone anymore it doesnt really matter now. I have found ways to do the things I couldnt so I dont really need any body but a friend sure would be nice. Thanks again, Jimmy

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Yep it is a sad thing. But poeple as a whole aren't real bright, they tend to fear what they don't understand.

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Couldnt of said it better!!!!

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Jimmy

I just joined this forum and your post was the first one I read. It sounds like you and others who have responded have run into some of the people in life that are just not worth dealing with. It's hard when someone treats you poorly but in the long run, you're better off for the experience as you find out which friends are true. Mine gave me a picture of an old mountain man with the following quote: "We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend." by Robert Louis Stevenson.

I found this to be a pretty accurate quote although it sounds as if you've made connections with some really good people on this forum. In a lot of ways you are a lucky man.

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I can relate ,even within my own family members. I just go on myself fooey on them.

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Hey idahunter--I'm an old man, and good advice costs money--but I'll give you some free advice--If you go thru life and can count 2 people as friends, you have got more than the average person, because most people are just 'fair weather' so called friends. I know cause I only have 2--one goes waterfowling with me and the other hunts big game with me. The one who hunts big game hunts with no other person, so he is really special.

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Jimmy,

I enjoy hunting/fishing alone. If I croak in the woods - great, it'll save my family the hassle of hauling me to the dump. Go out and do what you like alone.

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You all are great and its nice to know that at least I have some internet friends that dont care about my disabilitys and that Im not the only one that has experienced this. I have a guy down the road that has gone hunting with me a few times and has been a wonderful help cause he does the things I cant do for me but he constantly reminds me what would I do if it wasnt for him being there to help me, It makes me feel bad and then I get a little mad because of the guilt trip he puts on me so I tell him id find a way to do the things as I have in the past and he just laughs. Hes really a prick and gets a high on helping me but I dont need the guilt trip so I told him I wont be going with him any more cause I dont like his attitude. Id rather go alone than to have to put up with some one like him. Thanks all you are wonderful!!!!!!!! Jimmy

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i too fall into the catagory of "disabled", if you believe the doctors and some of my old friends. i go fishing by myself, and hunt when i want to or can, and don't worry about them anymore. when i was younger, i build stands for 2 men that were in wheelchairs to allow them to roll up on a slab and raise it with pullies and lock into the stand. we gave them radios to call us if they killed a deer, and cleaned their deer for them. we did everything we could to help them out. now, i seem to have the frends around that don't want to be bothered with helping anyone. just a sign of the times, i guess. so, i make do with the few people that will help--a new son-in-law really helps!!-- and do what i can. i do have a special relationship with the elderly couple that run our deer lease. if i am hunting, i have to stop and let them know i'm leaving and o.k., so they don't start worrying about me and call my cell phone till i answer. the older ones still ask about me and seem to worry about my goof-ball attitude about doing what i want till i kill over, but the younger ones don't want to be bothered by any of us old-timers. they just don't know what they are missing, and they are the ones being deprived of an awful lot of experience and knowledge that could be passed down. "keep the faith and don't back down from anything, and we'll make it somehow" is my motto now!!:D

Disabled hunters
 

Go to www.sunsetpinesresort.com

RE: Whats wrong with people?
 

Hunter712 Thanks for the link, I am aware of that site and have his link on my site, you can bet I will be getting in touch with him shortly. Thanks again! Jimmy

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Hey Jimmy, I have found myself without friends also. I was injured by being run over by a Quad or what others call a Four Wheeler on July 21, 2003. One of my best friends was behind the controls when he hit me. After a few months of being in the hospital with a broken neck at the C5 level causeing me to be paralized from the chest down my friends slowly stoped coming to see me. Then when I got home only a couple came by once or twice, eventually they stoped all together. It is a horrible feeling and it is still with me today. I have figured out how much they have missed out by fleeing the scene. I miss my friends being around but I have leared one thing, those guys are carrying a very guilty consionce. I make due as I'm sure you do also but it's very hard and very boreing and I know for a fact you know that part. It is also very hard to make new friends because people either avoid looking at me or stare without any consideration. Your question, "Whats wrong with people?" I'm not sure Jimmy, other than my theory that we are all human and humans many times make very bad judgement calls. I wish it wasn't so but I know I'm still going to keep going until I can't go anymore and I'm sure you will do the same. Keep your chin up Jimmy and I'll do the same. Dave.

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Thanks Dave it means lot, I am starting to find some great friends but they are all on the internet and most of them are disabled. So I decided to put up a site where we can all get together talk, Bs, and just have fun and it is great! I would really like to see you there. Thanks again Jimmy
The Disabled Life

RE: Whats wrong with people?
 

I read your first post and thought...If I was hunting/fishing with that guy and he did kick the bucket, I bet he went happy...not that I would hope that for anyone. Shoot, I hope to go that way.

Sorry to hear that your pals deserted you. There will be better ones out there.

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Hey feddoc you are one of a few!! I salute you;)If more people would see it that way it would be wonderful!!! If I die I dont expect anyone to do anything just call me in so the wife will know! Thanks buddy! Jimmy

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If you ever make it down to Tx, I know it's aways away,I'll be glad to take you hunting. I'll even push you in a wheelchair to our location if that helps. My mother is disabled and can die of a heart attack anytime and I still wheel her off to Florida every year. I'll be glad to help you anyway i can. Peace be with you. I ain't skeered

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txbigbuck Thanks buddy it so nice to know that not all people are afraid of me dieing on em. You are one of a few very special people and I thank you for who you are. I'll probably never make it to Texas but I do thank you for your offer, God Bless you Jimmy

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I hate people who act like that.. My dad lost his leg, from the knee down, to diabetes in august2002. He was bummed out with the thought of never hunting again. The dr told him about a prosthesis and he would be able to walk again. That lifted his spirits. In november of that year we went deer hunting> he still didnt have his leg yet. He crawled up the side of the mountain in snow about 200 yards and set himself up. He loved to be in the woods. I know this isnt as dramatic as most of you guys but it is a disability none the less. He used to tell everyone after he lost his leg that he was a foot shorter. He had a great sense of humor. Well during that time I lost my mom to cancer (11/02) and he just couldnt get over that hurdle. The diabetes took over and he lost the battle and had either a heart attack or stroke in 4/04. 1dahunter.. if you ever see eastern PA.. send me a PM.. I ll get you in the woods to hunt something. My dad said if he had a heart attack dragging a deer from the woods or chasing turkeysand died from it he would be a happy man.

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I know that it can be tough hanging out with people who are sick, because it can be depressing, but you know what? The fact is that when you have loved ones on this earth, there is not enough time to spend with them. I lost my grandmother last spring to Alzheimer's disease. She slowly deteriorated over a period of about ten years, and most of my family just kind of forgot about her. It was almost like she was already dead. I tried to spend as much time with her as I could, because underneath all of the exterior problems the woman that I loved was still in there. The woman who made me cookies, and changed my diapers, and put band aids on my knee, and who practically was a second mother to me was still there, she just wasn't as healthy as she once was. Does that mean that I should stop caring? Would she have stopped caring about me? I don't think so! When I lost my father it was a different story. My father went just about as fast as a man can go. He seemed healthy until the day he died. I went to see him after work one night and I found him dead on his dining room floor. He must've just gone straight down after having a massive heart attack and that was that. There were some little things around him that would've been disturbedif he had been struggling at all, but there was no struggle. He just laid down and didn't get back up. I ask myself, was there anything that I would've liked to tell him before he died? Yeah, I would've maybe liked to say that I loved him, which as grown men I'm sure that a lot of us don't say to our fathers enough. I was lucky enough to have a great relationship with my father. We talked every day and I spent a lot of time with him. If he had lived through his heart attack and he was layed up sick would I have stopped seeing him as much or stopped talking to him every day? I don't think so. People need to realize that just because someone isn't as healthy as God may or may not have blessed you to be that you don't have to change the way you talk to them, and that people are going to go when they are going to go and there isn't sh** you can do about it. You just have to make the most of your friendship, and you have to enjoy your time while you're here. I am a firm believer that in the end we will be together again, but its nice to know that you made the most of your time here.