Girlfriends/Wives annoyed with your hunting
 

I have been with my girlfriend for a year now and we are pretty serious, living together,etc. We started dating end of Sept last year and bow season was underway. At first she seemed supportive of my hunting. As time has progressed she seems to be very annoyed with it and hates that I want to go all the time. She even gets annoyed with me thinking about it all the time. I explained to her that she is my priority but hunting is a part of me and its something I love to do. During spring turkey I only went once a week usually on a saturday or sunday morning. When I was single I was hardcore and hunted up to 4 times a week. I was ok with going down to once a week for her because she is important to me. Now its like she doesn't want me to go at all. I usually do lots of preseason scouting, putting stands up etc, but this year I haven't done much due to not wanting her to think I care more about hunting than her. So my question is for you guys that are married or have girlfriends...how do you balance out this situation? I do plan on marrying her but will not give up my hunting. I'm hope after being together for a longer time she will just get used to it and she will be ok with it. I had a guy tell me after 32 years of marriage, his wife lets him go as he pleases. Any thoughts or recommendations? Please be nice and no bad remarks about my girlfriend.

That, my friend is called a RED FLAG! You need to be yourself and let her know that your interests (as hers should be) are a priority. If you can't be yourself then it is not going to work. I've learned this over the years through my own relationships and others relationships also.

You should be fair about it, but your time is your time. If she has hobbies/interests then you should be supportive of hers as well.

If you have a problem with it now, wait until your responsibilities increase i.e. bigger home, kids, more demanding job potentially. Talk about taking away from your deer hunting time.

My advice; you need to have a conversation with her and let her know this is who you are. You can save yourself a lot of heartache in the future by being honest with her and yourself now. Good luck.

Red Flag is an understatement. Don't get married if you are serious about your hunting. My GF hunts too and that is nice.

My wife has always understood that hunting and fishing is very important to me and she has never had a problem with me being gone alot for that month or two in the fall. She knows that 10 months out of the year I'm at her "mercy" but October and November belong to me. Beleive me when I tell you if your lady doesnt like you going now it's not going to get better with time. If she finds out that by getting peed off at you that you'll cave in and start doing less of it she will keep on until you don't hunt at all.

Wow you got to get her a hobbey. Thats the problem. I agree with the red flags but maybe getting her into something that buys you time or something is the key. My Fiance is actually really cool about me hunting and sure she would love for me to spend all my free time with her, but she understands that hunting is just something i do. Even if it means i leave her for a week or two hunt elk or Im gone every Saturday during the fall and holidays after deer. She even comes with me now to set up stands and cameras, granted she isnt into it but she does it for me. And usually afterwards i take her to dinner. Compromise.

Basically you need to have the talk. Say this is who i am and if you dont like it then we have some things we need hash out. If she loves you she will understand. Just like you have to understand that if she wants to go do something you cant stand that you got to do it. Its a two way street, and a successful relationship is about communication and compromise. She needs to compromise for you and vice versa.

But if she isnt willing to adjust for you on something that is truely your passion its defiantly a red flag. It means she puts herself first and that will not make for fun down the road.

Been in your shoes before, if she is willing to work with you then i say she is a keeper, if not well thats your call.

My Girlfriend Just recently broke up with me for these reasons. Hmmm.

I just bought my wife a TC Encore blackpowder gun to take her with me. But she grew up with a hunting/fishing family and understands it. She also let me get a motorcycle about 3 years ago and understands when I want to go for rides. So I would say at the very least you two need to have a discussion on how much time apart is expected. Hopefully you can come to some understanding.

Oh, and we have been married going on 22 years and dated for 3 before that with no end in sight.

Try including her. Take her with you when you go out and scout and hang stands. I started to do that with my wife and now she will hunt. She wont bow hunt, but she will gun hunt. She enjoys helping me with the stands and likes seeing the " great outdoors ". Now maybe your GF is totally against hunting, IDK, but I'm sure she would enjoy the walks in the woods. A good friend of mine ( its where I hunt ), his GF is a vegetarian and wont even kill a mouse in the house. But she knows thats the way he is and accepts that. She tried at first to stop the hunting, but she lost, lol... She just accepts it now. Doesn't like it, but accepts it.

yea man thats a major red flag. my last girlfriend when we started goin out was ok with me goin hunting and stuff. well i hunt every single day i can starting in bow season and when duck season hits im duck huntin in the morning and bow hunting at night. well she started complaining about how much i was hunting and how i hardly ever saw her and i told her that i hunt and this is what i do and she better get used to it or she can leave. well the complaining kept going on so i finnally had enough and i kicked her @ss to the curb!! so man i hate to tell you but she is not just gonna start to like it if she dont like it there just really aint much that would change her mind but you definitely need to tell her how you feel about the situation and be nice about it. hope this helps

"I'm hope after being together for a longer time she will just get used to it and she will be ok with it."

Ain't gonna happen, rather you will get used to not hunting!! If you don't fix it immediately she will just nag you till you hunt on her terms. Been there myself and see it all the time with friends.

Tough spot to be in. For me, my hunting/fishing/outdoor lifestyle were not something that I was willing to sacrifice. For me, ANY reduction in time was too much. I'm already restricted enough with work, that I wasn't going to stand for my sig. other to further limit my time, or make it miserable every time I left to go hunt/fish. My brother finally had enough of it after 8 years and just finalized his divorce. I think you need to think long and hard about your relationship. If hunting is something that you cannot/will not give up or greatly limit, then maybe this girl isn't the one for you. Nothing wrong with that at all, and also no shame in it in my opinion. There is FAR too little time to hunt in this world, and to have it be a battle or a guilt trip just isn't worth it to me.

I went thru the past 2 years of dealing with this with my wife - and she knew very well how much time I spent in the woods during the season. Make it very clear what your intentions are once season begins, and I mean very. We had a discussion which resulted in me saying if there was something important going on, I would stay home. Let me tell you, what she thinks is important and what you think is important will be two different things.

Bottom line - do what makes you happy.

Its not going to magically to get better with time. It will actually get worse once you have children!! That was understood with my wife in the beginning, I like to hunt and she would have to be ok with that. Im not going to act like some hard @&s and say its my way or the highway, but she does understand that this is something that I have done since I was a child and have no intensions of stopping. Out of respect for her, I have cut out going to the camp for the weekend (every weekend) because we have two young children. Its a give and take, but come october 1st, I do a little more taking, but after the first three weeks I slack up until rut.

Thanks for all the advice guys. Its nice to have guys that can relate to my situation. Bottom line is I will never quit hunting. I will cut down on it somewhat to have more family time(she already has a daughter), but will never quit it, and I told her that. I have taken her turkey hunting once and she actually liked it. But she doesn't seem to care to keep going. We have talked and I hope it will be better come Sept 15. This all got riled up when I was starting to go out and check my trail cam several weeks ago.

I told my wife that I hunt and fish ... and to get over it because I would still be hunting and fishing long after she is gone . Now my wife fishes with me on occasion and and hunts a few days a year . She knows im going hunting regardless of her plans .Now we have been married for 22 years and there has never beeen any surprises because I was upfront from the beginning. We were married on DEC 2 and just about the entire wedding party including my wife hunted that morning ... even had the wedding 7 at night so it didn't interfere with my hunting.Yes she has sisters ... and there all married... and I got the best one of the bunch.To be honest if your girl is complaining now it will never work out for you .All women try to change men .... and the guys that i know that let it happen are miserable for years ... and still end up in divorce.Good luck.

+1. That's my situation as well. I let her know that most of the year, I'll bend over backwards to do the things she likes to do. And then come fall, I get to spend more of my 'free time' (what's that?) hunting, shooting, etc. It helps that she comes from a hunting family, and has hunted herself. If anything, she's miffed that she has to watch the kids instead of going hunting with me!

So what the guys are saying about her being more reasonable is accurate. If she can't deal with cutting you some slack in the fall, you're going to have problems down the road. No getting around it.

Have you tried getting her more involved with your passion? Get her a cheap bow (my wife has one) and then you can have fun with the sport together. You also have to realize that once you have kids, you will have to make some sacrifices with your hunting. Doesn't mean you have to abandon it entirely, but small children demand your attention as a father. The good thing is that once they're a little older (5 years and up) you can start involving them in hunting. That is a very rewarding experience and something to look forward to.

First she got you to cut down on your hunting, now she wants it completely gone. Explain that hunting is a part of you and you need to know that she loves all of you, not just a part of you. You'll get your answer either way. I'd also make sure there weren't future plans until you know for sure if she tells you she loves all to make sure it's not just lip service. My wife and I have issues every deer season. But, we've been married 30 years and have learned to deal with each other's pet peeves.

Nip it in the bud now !!! I say dump her!!! LOL!!!!


Hatchet Jack

i dated my wife for 5 years and been married for almost a year and i told her from the get go that when it comes to hunting season i will be hunting and not at home with her she gets annoyed sitting at home by herself 2 days to 5 days a week but like i tell her you cant shoot a deer on the couch and she is not going to get use to it or be ok with it over time you just have to make a decision if you are gonna hunt or spend all of your time with her and if she isnt ok with you hunting then there is always someone out there that you can find that will be ok with it or that will go out with you.

I dated my exwife for 4 years before we got married. She got pissed all the time during those four years cause of my hunting. I told her if we get married my hunting isnt goin to change and she said thats fine! After a year and a half of marriage we got divorced and hunting was one of the reasons she divorced me! So if she dont lk it now i dont see her changing her mind down the road. I love hunting and its a part of me and nobody is goin to change that! If she truly loves you she will make sacrifices for u, but that also gos for you also! Relationships are 50/50!

Give her the boot!!!!!!

Ok seriously if she isnt making you happy now, its not gonna happen in the future. We all know how women are, thats just not gonna happen.

So in that case. Stick with what you really love and what makes you happy. Its the way stuff goes.

Yea man i was in a situation like that and it sucked. We finally broke up because it was always about what she wanted to do and i couldnt have my time to do anything. But my current gf is just glad that i ask her to come along and help with hanging stands and preparing food plots. Just set a day every month to take her out and show her that if shes willing to let you hunt that your willing to do what she likes.

My Brother had the same problem before he got married. Twenty five years later he divorced her. Same problem only worse. I say as I did to my Bro, it isn't worth it. Its your life just make sure you make the right choice.:wink:

Started off the wife was fine with me hunting. Then my obsession became a little more. She got a little edgy. I cut back but now I just want to be hunting when I can. Heres the 1 thing I said to her that made her lighten up.

"I come home to you at the end of the day, everyday. When you wake up and some reason I' dead, just remember that you'll be wishing I was out hunting and that I would be coming home"

Lifes too short, enjoy it or deal with your regrets.

You are not involved with a mature person. If you choose to stick it out, you're the ONLY one that will sacrifice. Nobody can decide for you. You are the one that will pay the price for your decision, either way.

I say grow a set and lay the law down. You can't expect to go from single to a relationship and spend the same amount of time doing anything you did before. But if you don't make her understand what is and is not acceptable to you, buddy, it's nobody's fault but yours when (not if) she chisels away at you until you're stuck watching hunting on tv (when she's not home of course).

Like the old saying goes "There's plenty of does in the woods".

Tell her to go lay down.

Just two words, "Hell Yeah"

you cut off the income, they will let you go, and if you act fast, you too can save your hunting season..

thats funny! truth is if shes pissed now shes always going to be end of story!!! you just need to go mhunting and take your punishment till the end of seson( screamin,yellin,cold shoulder and no personal time [thats the nice way to put it]). after season all will be better. another thing how can you only go turkeey huntin once a week i would bust id say sign me up for a divorce!!!

Don't ever get married thinking "she will change".

It's not going to happen.

In the last few years I got back into hunting BIGTIME now that my kids are grown. The wife was having problems with it. I split all the chores with her & make sure to get out of the house with her to the beach, or shopping, or whatever makes her happy. But I made it clear that hunting was VERY important to me - I'll spend as much time with her as possible, but I WON'T quit hunting. I gave it up for many years when my kids were small & needed Dad there with them every weekend, but now it MY time. She decided she'd rather have me chasing deer than chasing skirts, so she gives me my time & I do the same for her.

If you are already having issues, now is the time to have it out IMHO. Don't commit unless everything is PERFECT, because people do not change...

how old are ya?.....Must be pretty young...Sounds like she is immature...If shes that hard on you Going hunting...shes gonna be that hard on everything u want to do that she does'nt want to do.:confused0024: .. I say... dump her.....plus...uve only been dating 1 year...get out while you can and find a woman..instead of a girl.. :happy0001:

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones with a very understanding partner. I was up until 1 AM this morning refletching my sons arrows and she didn't say a word. I try to give her all my time thruout the year because there is nowhere I'd rather be but come August it's time to start hanging stands and she knows it. Try to explain your position and do a few shooing trips or dinner and a movie after your hunts but stay true to who you are or you aren't going to be happy. One thing leads to another and it might be Sunday night football next. Good luck!

DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY, AND DON'T LOOK BACK....... Trust me if she has a problem with it now she always will...... The funny thing is people really don't change too much even when they say they want too. If that is something that you really love to do and are really passionate about it, talk with her and get the facts and make sure she is going to be OK with it for the next 50 years.....

If not, get out NOW................. THAT my friend is the truth......

Compromise is what people try to do with others, when they don't like what others are doing. I.E. YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


It is ok to find a happy medium I guess, but just do what makes you happy.. If making her happy make you happy then slow it down. If that is not so important to you, then do you really have to look for the answer…YOU HAVE IT ALREADY… J

This is one reason I'm not in a serious relationship.. Granted I am young (23), so this isn't me being immature or completely selfish, but I see it as I or anyone in our shoes needs to find someone that is at least understanding of our passion.. I don't know from experience like some of these guys, but I'm guessing if she's trying to get you to cut back now, while dating, it won't get much better once married.. I have a buddy who's been dating a chick for close 5 years now, he's was a die hard through high school and early college, but every year since dating her, his hunting time and enthusiasm has dissipated and all but ceased now.. He still hunts, but as most of us are limited by work he is too, so he's down to hunting a handful of times in a season.. He went into this relationship trying to make her happy and not hunt that much, but now during the season he's half jealous of us that are hunting and half hen-pecked for the times that he does hunt.. So really if you are willing to severally reduce your time, which it sounds like your not, I suggest you have a sit down with her and just lay it all out, if she isn't understanding to the degree you wish she would be, maybe she's not for you.. But I do wish you the best of luck with the situation..

For me she tried the same thing......so I said OK I will stay home, but it will be sex 24-7. After one weekend of that she said next time, go hunting.....I can go now anytime I want and she has No complaints.

If she isn't supportive of your hobbies and passions then it isn't going to work. The longer you cut back your time on what you want to do the more miserable you will be. The more miserable you are the more your going to fight, and then break up. So sit down and talk to her about it, and see where it goes.

Dude just man handle the situation. Tell her like it is. My wife lets me go anytime I please. Know why? Because she can't stop me nor will she. You've got to be a man and say "Hell yeah I'm going!" You could even bring her along and do the dirty in the stand too. I've done that before in the blind. Nice!

I told my wife after the 2nd date we ever went on that come oct. I hunt and hunt every weekend until the middle of jan. and if she couldnt deal with that then our relationship just wasnt going to work and we have now been together for 6years and married for 3 of them and she is as supportive as i could ask for so i say be up front with her and if she doesnt understand then maybe she isnt the one

well....
 

sounds to me, you weren't "totally" honest with her from the git. Yes, you are what you are, but, DID she KNOW that, only you would know. Be honest with yourself, then you can be honest with others.:confused0024: