How do I tell a good friend that he stole my spot?
10-07-2009, 08:25 PM
#1
Fork Horn
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 147
How do I tell a good friend that he stole my spot?
Hey guys, I have a question that I need some help with.
I have a friend that owns some land that I have been hunting for the past 5 years. Well last year I asked a friend to hunt with me on that land to help him get his first deer. He did and shot a yearling doe.
Here is the problem, this fellow hunter also knows the land owner. So this year he went and asked the land owner if he and his friends can hunt the land as well. This really made me mad. I know that its not my land but I have worked hard on this land for 5 years and now he is just walking in and taking over. I know that he isn't intentionally taking my spot, he just doesn't have any private land to hunt on other than this so I feel bad for him, that's why I helped him last year.
Like I said, I am friends with the land owner and I am sure that if I asked her, she would tell the other guy to not hunt or at least not to harvest a buck. But I think I should just ask my friend ( the hunter) this myself. How do I ask him not take a buck and to not let his friends hunt the land without completely offending him? I need to be careful because he has never shot a buck so for me to ask him not to shoot his first buck, just so I can shoot it instead could really make him mad. Any ideas would really help cause I don't want to mess up a good friendship due to a deer.
I have a friend that owns some land that I have been hunting for the past 5 years. Well last year I asked a friend to hunt with me on that land to help him get his first deer. He did and shot a yearling doe.
Here is the problem, this fellow hunter also knows the land owner. So this year he went and asked the land owner if he and his friends can hunt the land as well. This really made me mad. I know that its not my land but I have worked hard on this land for 5 years and now he is just walking in and taking over. I know that he isn't intentionally taking my spot, he just doesn't have any private land to hunt on other than this so I feel bad for him, that's why I helped him last year.
Like I said, I am friends with the land owner and I am sure that if I asked her, she would tell the other guy to not hunt or at least not to harvest a buck. But I think I should just ask my friend ( the hunter) this myself. How do I ask him not take a buck and to not let his friends hunt the land without completely offending him? I need to be careful because he has never shot a buck so for me to ask him not to shoot his first buck, just so I can shoot it instead could really make him mad. Any ideas would really help cause I don't want to mess up a good friendship due to a deer.
10-07-2009, 08:36 PM
#2
Nontypical Buck
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: central and east texas
Posts: 4,894
yeah i am kinda stingy with my bucks too, i have spent the las 6 years puttin in the blood swet and tears doin feeders and cuttin fer lanes and plotting now, and we have harvested our deer very conservatively as to be able to take a nice deer and now is the time. so i can relate
i aint sure what to do here, but a friendship goes along way and a deer can get ate in a night.
i would just try and keep same rules as last time he came, and try and see if it is left at that.
if not then i would explain to my friend how i have thousands of dollars invested here not to mention the time..maybe try and tell him you set all these places up for you, and you dont mind sharing, but he can have his choice of these other 2 spots, and maybe there is one you were thinking of doing and maybe he could put in the work at the "new" spot and make it his own.
i dont think i'd drag the land owner in, but i would jus let the land owner know exactly what you are gonna say and see how he/she reacts and go from there
the last thing ya want is the new guy runnin bak cryin to the land owner bout where n when and he and she
i have seen friend ships lost over deer, is kinda sad, but if he respects you , he will understand the time and devotion you have spent, and just the fact that he gets to hunt for free should be enough.
sorry bout the long azz post
gl
i aint sure what to do here, but a friendship goes along way and a deer can get ate in a night.
i would just try and keep same rules as last time he came, and try and see if it is left at that.
if not then i would explain to my friend how i have thousands of dollars invested here not to mention the time..maybe try and tell him you set all these places up for you, and you dont mind sharing, but he can have his choice of these other 2 spots, and maybe there is one you were thinking of doing and maybe he could put in the work at the "new" spot and make it his own.
i dont think i'd drag the land owner in, but i would jus let the land owner know exactly what you are gonna say and see how he/she reacts and go from there
the last thing ya want is the new guy runnin bak cryin to the land owner bout where n when and he and she
i have seen friend ships lost over deer, is kinda sad, but if he respects you , he will understand the time and devotion you have spent, and just the fact that he gets to hunt for free should be enough.
sorry bout the long azz post
gl
10-07-2009, 08:43 PM
#3
Nontypical Buck
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Notheast IL
Posts: 1,016
Sound like a tough nut to crack. Just how much land are you talking about? Is it large enough for you and the other guy and his friends to hunt without shooting each other? On the other hand, how good of friends are you and this other guy? I would think that there should be more than 1 buck running around. Good luck with what ever you decide...
10-07-2009, 08:49 PM
#5
Fork Horn
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Harford County Maryland
Posts: 274
I would try and talkt o him about your area and him having his own area. Offer to help him scout out or build other stands in a different area. Tough position your in, it ultimately comes down to how much land, and if he is an avid hunter, how often will he hunt there, is he able to kill a deer by himself lol. good luck.
10-07-2009, 09:03 PM
#6
Boone & Crockett
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 10,679
Sounds to me that your "friend" is a POS.
I would come right and ask him what the frick he is doing and if he does get permission to hunt this particular land it will be the last dang time you offer to put him on some deer. He is on his own.
I would never encroach on the land that a friend has prior permission to hunt with out first talking to my friend to get his thoughts.
I would come right and ask him what the frick he is doing and if he does get permission to hunt this particular land it will be the last dang time you offer to put him on some deer. He is on his own.
I would never encroach on the land that a friend has prior permission to hunt with out first talking to my friend to get his thoughts.
10-07-2009, 09:12 PM
#7
Fork Horn
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Mukwonago, WI
Posts: 212
Telling him he can't harvest a buck on land you don't own seems out of place. Granted you're invested money and sweat but that was your own choice and you have no control over what the land owner allows.
Him inviting friends does seem a bit rude and disrespectful of your generosity inviting him along last year.
Where I'm coming from is I manage 100 acreas and used to invite 4-5 coworkers to bow hunt with me. Granted I invest thousands of dollars in permanent tree stands, food plots, mineral licks and many hours improving the land so I get the choice of stand each time we hunt but don't restrict what my friends harvest beyond my own restrictions (we practice QDM so any buck harvested must be larger than the previous personal best). Several of these friends never have harvested a buck so a spike is fair game where my own restriction is an 8 or larger with a 14" spread.
This year I'm inviting 10 boy scouts to hunt my land and they know the QDM rules. Granted none of them have ever harvested a buck before so I'm not bent out of shape if they shoot one of the yearlings. Just part of spreading the joy of hunting to friends and the younger generation.
Get over restricting your friend from harvesting a buck and lay down mutual rules you both can respect.
But tell him your displeasure in inviting friends who will invite friends and so on and so on. It will get out hand in a couple of years. This scenerio happend to my grandpa 10 years ago and ended up with a friend of a friends friend shooting my grandpa's buddy in a hunting accident. My grandpa was heart broken up to the time he passed and said his regretted loosing control on who hunted his property.
Good Luck.
Him inviting friends does seem a bit rude and disrespectful of your generosity inviting him along last year.
Where I'm coming from is I manage 100 acreas and used to invite 4-5 coworkers to bow hunt with me. Granted I invest thousands of dollars in permanent tree stands, food plots, mineral licks and many hours improving the land so I get the choice of stand each time we hunt but don't restrict what my friends harvest beyond my own restrictions (we practice QDM so any buck harvested must be larger than the previous personal best). Several of these friends never have harvested a buck so a spike is fair game where my own restriction is an 8 or larger with a 14" spread.
This year I'm inviting 10 boy scouts to hunt my land and they know the QDM rules. Granted none of them have ever harvested a buck before so I'm not bent out of shape if they shoot one of the yearlings. Just part of spreading the joy of hunting to friends and the younger generation.
Get over restricting your friend from harvesting a buck and lay down mutual rules you both can respect.
But tell him your displeasure in inviting friends who will invite friends and so on and so on. It will get out hand in a couple of years. This scenerio happend to my grandpa 10 years ago and ended up with a friend of a friends friend shooting my grandpa's buddy in a hunting accident. My grandpa was heart broken up to the time he passed and said his regretted loosing control on who hunted his property.
Good Luck.
Last edited by W9ARcher; 10-07-2009 at 09:19 PM.
10-07-2009, 09:40 PM
#8
Fork Horn
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 147
Hey guys. The land in question is only around 60 acres of corn and bean fields in between two sets of woods that I CAN'T hunt. Both sets of woods are hunted so I can't really manage the deer other than passing on them myself and hoping they last through the rest of the season. Because of this, good bucks are very hard to come by. Does are somewhat more plentiful but not by much. I am lucky to get one dear all season long out there. I already had my doe last year and it was the last weekend of the season so I invited him last year for a DOE ONLY hunt. Now he is talking about getting a buck.
The hunter and I are pretty good friends. We are in fantasy football together and hang out a lot. That's what makes it hard. He doesn't have good land to hunt on but he really loves to hunt. He has also been hunting 10 years and has never gotten a buck. And last year was his first deer ever. So I feel horrible asking him not to take a buck on this land if he gets a shot. But when you might only see one or two bucks a year, I kinda want the first crack at them.
The hunter and I are pretty good friends. We are in fantasy football together and hang out a lot. That's what makes it hard. He doesn't have good land to hunt on but he really loves to hunt. He has also been hunting 10 years and has never gotten a buck. And last year was his first deer ever. So I feel horrible asking him not to take a buck on this land if he gets a shot. But when you might only see one or two bucks a year, I kinda want the first crack at them.
10-08-2009, 12:14 AM
#10
Boone & Crockett
Join Date: Feb 1997
Location: Cheasapeke and Delaware Bay Region
Posts: 10,485
Just tell him, look, I tried to help you get your ST deer. I don't appreciate you bringing your friends in here. If he balks tell him you will have to resort to informing the landowner and we will let her be the judge.