Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

I was just wondering if anyone has any storeis of some funny things that have happened to yall or maybe something you heard of happening to someone ither that or something dumb youve done, like last year, i got into the truck started it up and realized i diddnt have any pants on.....

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

Well it kinda nasty but....... I once took a pooooo(on public ground) when all finished I herd someone cough and the guy was less then 20 feet away in a climber (WATCHING) I always make sure I look high and low and in all directions NOW Sorry Guy's I thought it was funny at the time

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

The dumbest thing I've ever done was not using my safety belt while desending from a tree. I fell 20ft and broke my back. Now that was just plain stupid on my part. I always wear it now and my back is still broken. Bone chips in my syatic nerve. Oh well I was told I had a 70% chance Id walk again if I had the surgery and 30% Id be in a wheel chair. I choose to live with the pain everyday. That was back in 1991. Now safety is the utmost for me. Funny thing was I was taking a pooo while turkey hunting and 2 guys just happened to walk up while I was taking care of business. Talk about embarrassed. hehehehe:D

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

About four years ago I placed my climber at the base of the tree I was going to hunt the next morning, and locked it.I arrive at my stand while it's still dark the next morn and realize I don't have the key for the lock. I had to drive the 11 miles back home to get it and return before it got light, which I did. RESPECT!:D

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

I guess poo stories rein supreme here. Last season I also took a poo on public land using the standard lean up against a tree method. Well wouldn't you know about 2/3rds of the way through the job i hear "ccccrack." I landed left cheek first in my steaming pile of poo. Fortunately I had enough TP to clean up the mess. Note to self, pick a better tree next time.

HH

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

Many years ago while archery hunting in West Virginia, I was after my second deer. Back then, your first deer could be either sex but your second had to be a buck. A legal buck was one that had to have at least a 3 inch spike on one side.

The farm I hunted was overpopulated with deer. the problem was, the buck to doe ratio was really outof whack. We saw lots of does but very few bucks. The bucks we did see were small. If you saw a six point, that was a decent buck, on that property, in those days.

We also hunted from the ground back then. We slowly still hunted and stalked deer with much success. The hilly terrain made stalksa bit easier.


Anyway, I was still hunting along the edge of a small field one morningwhen I got those gut wrenching cramps. You know the kind! Every hunter knows. I had to go now, right now.

I laid my bow on the ground beside me and undid my pants so I could do my business. I was squatting there and just pinched off a loaf, when I looked across the small field and saw a deer watching me. It was about 75 yards away, staring and bobbing its head. i looked through my binos and sure enough it was a buck. It was just a small spike but it was a buck.

Not being much of a trophy hunter I was dissapointed to be in such a predicament. As I squatted there wondering what to do, the spike jumped the fence and started sneaking along the edge of the woods, coming toward me. I got my bow in hand and waited. The small buck closed the distance to 35 yards. As he went behind a large oak tree, I drawed my bow. Keep in mind now, I'm still squatting over a fresh pile and still have my pants down.

As he stepped out and paused , I released my arrow through his ribcage.

I laid the bow back down beside me and finished my business.

This is a true story. Below is a pic of that buck. Yeah, its a little small:D but man what a story:D:D:D

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

PLEASE DONT ASK GERM!!! [:-]:eek:[8D]:D

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

A former coworker had a funny story.

He hunted public land. It usually got a lot of pressure so he decided to get up extra early and get a jump on all the other hunters and get in the woods before everyone else.

He arrived extra early the next morning. There was no one there. He got out his bow and his gear and started to get ready. He realized he was really early and decided to just wait in his truck a little while before heading in the woods.

He started dozing off when he saw a car's headlight approaching. They pulled in beside his truck to hunt. In the process of pulling in beside him, they ran over his bow. He had it laying beside his truck ready to go.

He realized it was his fault and had no hard feelings towards the other hunters.

Can't help but wonder what went through his mind as he drove homewhen it was breaking daylight on the first day of the season.

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

One time I was going hunting with a good friend of mine, at his lease, and his gun was locked up at his granddads house where he left it...so I let him use one of mine. We found out it was locked after we already got to the house, which is right accross the street from the hunting grounds... back to my house we go for a rifle, about 10 minute drive. We get to the woods and I forgot the bullets[&:]... back to my house we go again... so now we are fashionably late and we finally get to the stand for about 45 minute sit before dark... thats the stupidest/funniest thing thats happened to me.

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

I have NEVER done anything dumb or silly out in the woods...Honest! :eek:;)


When I was younger I climbed this humongeous tree while carrying my 30-06...when I got to the top the view was awful anyways so I sat in the tree for about 20 minutes to get my rest then climbed back down,when I got on the ground another Hunter walked up with a big grin on his face.:)

A few years ago I had my Climbing Stand set up in a pretty small tree,opening morning I went out early to get up in the stand and as the morning went on the wind started to pick up really fast...then a nice Doe walked out about 125 yards away and I tried to shoot it with the tree swaying :eek:missed it 2 times and it ran off! [:@]

One Deer Season my Brother In-law was loading his 25-06 in the back of his Mom's laundry room and his gun went off and he shoot a hole in the linoleum floor...the hole was really small but really BIG where it came out when he went out to check under the crawl space in the garage that ran under the house.Luckily it hit in the dirt floor under the laundry room and not into the water lines,the water softeneror hit the electrical box a few feet away! :D

I know a friend that was hunting about 20 years ago with 2 of his other friends and they all went out hunting together and on the way home they all climbed into his 1978 Camaro,when one friend climbed into the front with his rifle it went off and he shoot a hole through the floor board! [&:]Luckily no one got hit

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

That same buddy got crapped on by a big a$$ bird turkey hunting...it was hilarious. Then that same day, I walked up on a Moccasin, and had to whack it with a stick, that was pretty funny too because my buddy was listening to me and couldnt see me, so he was a little confused when I got over to him...:)

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

I guy at are hunting camp was taking a poo well sitting on a long. The log he was setting broke and he fell in his poo. All the while his brother is watching dieing of laughing.

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

Once during shotgun season my buddy and I drove about 45 minutes to our hunting spot. We got out of my truck to get ready, both put on camo, spray down, orange vests, more spray, etc. I got my gun out of the case, he grabbed his. I unlocked mine, he had no key for his trigger guard! He decided to not hunt, I loaned him my truck to go home. I told him to be back at noon. Well, he got home, fell asleep and I got to hunt for a few extra hours that day.

Bow season opener one year. Had a spot all picked out, planned the entrance based on wind direction, jumped deer on the way in. Figured oh well, I was circling around the long way to get to the spot, so I'd hunt it anyway. Got into the stand site before sun-up and hunted all morning. Inoticed an unusual amount ofwasp activity. When I got down, I realized that there was an underground nest at the base of my tree. I unstrapped myself, then kept going back to the tree to get both parts of my climber, my safety belt, my bow, etc. As I got each piece, I moved them away from the tree to avoid getting stung. Safely away from the tree (I thought) as I'm bending over to secure my climber, i hear buzzzzzz coming from inside my jacket! I did the swat dance for a while til I was satisfied that I crushed the little bugger. I went back to packing my gear, then again buzzzzzzzzzzzzz! Swat dance #2... Well, I'm sure I looked pretty dumb when I realized that something had blocked the hole in the Primos Can in my pocket and it started buzzing every time I bent over! Power of suggestion!

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

This actually happened to a buddy of mine years ago. We were en-route to our bow hunting spot, about a 45 mi drive. At about mile #2, my buddy starts to complain about gastro-discomfort. At about mile # 30 he was doin the drivers seat fidgett, and I tried to talk him into pulling over on the side of I 270, to no avail. He could, and WOULD hold it till we got to the farm. Well it's Mile # 40, and beads of sweat are forming on his forehead, he's already unzipped his cover-alls, in preperation of our arrival at the farm. Seat belt off, and door partially opened. He'sstill doing his best to maintain control of his bowels, but it is very apparrent that time is rapidly running out. AHH, Finally at the farm! We get close to our parking spot, with approx. 10 feet left. He gets his Jimmy to a slow roll, and it's out the drivers side door, TP in hand. I managed to get the truck stopped, while he was already in full squat, and making noises that I can only describe as the sounds of pure relief. A minute or three goes by, and out of the darkness, I hear him exclaim, "Oh S***!!!. I was afraid to ask what had happened, so I remained quiet, as I was sure I'd find out soon enough. Well, he comes back to the truck in his skivvies. Jump suit nowhere to be seen, and proceeds to tell me the story. In his haste to relieve himself, he shimmied down his cover-alls, and THOUGHT they were clear of the bombay doors. Upon completing his hideous task, he cleaned himself up, reached behind him to grab the tops of his cover-alls and pull them back up in a rapid lifting-towards-the-upper-back motion. What he failed to realize, was that the poo had landed on the inner collar portion of his jump suit, and upon trying to re-suit himself, he had soiled himself from the base of his head to just below the shoulders. I almost peed myself I was laughing so hard, and know my laughter scared every deer away for miles.

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

I was bowunting (and had a achery turkey tag too). a big ol bachelor group of toms came by, I stood up and got ready to shoot...well i had no release. I had not practiced shooting fingers so I wasnt going to shoot and risk a bad shot. I was pretty sure I had packed it in and found it setting on the fourwheeler seat. Oh well, Ill get another shot at one... hopefully!

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

I was bowunting (and had a achery turkey tag too). a big ol bachelor group of toms came by, I stood up and got ready to shoot...well i had no release. I had not practiced shooting fingers so I wasnt going to shoot and risk a bad shot. I was pretty sure I had packed it in and found it setting on the fourwheeler seat. Oh well, Ill get another shot at one... hopefully!

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

Probably the dumbest thing I did was when I was bowfishing once. I was walking the bank of a small cove where spotted gar cruise around just under the surface. Action was kind of slow that day and a water moccasin came skimming across the water. "I wonder if I can hit that snake?"

Drew back and released. Caught that snake dead amidships. That's when it spotted me and here it came! [:-] It was making some real good speed too, with the arrow sticking out of it and cutting a wake behind. I found out real quick it's hard to push a P.O.'d moccasin away from you with a length of wet line. Didn't have time to nock another arrow, so I tossed my bow down - after all, the snake was stuck with an arrow that had a line tied to it and the other end of the line was tied to my bow, and I didn't especially want to be bringing the snake with me - and I lit out.

About 30 yards up the brand new trail I'd just cut, I found a hefty piece of dead wood, just right for a club. I went back and reclaimed my property from the snake.

I've never taken another potshot at a snake while bowfishing, I guarantee that.

Then there was the time I was driving the backroads doing some road scouting and had to drain off some of Starbucks' finest. Pulled over to the side and went to water a bush behind a big tree. I had just gotten matters in hand and was in that initial heavy sigh portion of the event when all of a sudden that bush exploded!

A wet and irritated hen turkey came out of that bush like it's tail feathers were afire. It was a good thing I was already in process or I definitely would've wet my pants on that one.

I lost a little belief in the mythic difficulty of hunting turkeys because of that episode.

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

hahaha, great stories guys!

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

Thanks for sharing those, Arthur... I've been close to a ton of water moccasins growing up and can appreciate that story!

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

I was gun hunting about 10 years ago when I discovered that someone had stolen the ladder that I used to get into my gun stand on my families property....Crap![:@] Well the stand is about 17 feet off the ground and built between four trees so I figured I'd just shimmy up there. So I tied my rope (to pull the shot gun up with) to my fanny pack/vest with all of my gear in it, thinking It would free up both hands for climbing.

Then in a shear stroke of genius:eek:, I remove the pack thinking "I don't really need that gear and I can climb better without the extra weight and bulk" So I procede to haul my large arse up to my stand bracing myself between the two trees that were the closest to each other, flashlight in my mouth.What seemed like an eternitylater, dripping in sweat I relish in my accomplishment only to realize what I'd done! Down below was my shotgun.......Crap![:@]

Down I go......in the pitch black of the early morning with flashlight again in my mouth to retreive my gun. Going down was just as difficult as going up but I managed to make it back down to terra ferma without falling. I then re-attach the gun rope this time to my belt and again begin the climb back up said tree. By now I'm so wet with sweat I think I'd be dryer if I had just gotten out of alake but I again manage to reach the top. I start to pull the gun up and realize that the shells are (you guessed it) in the fanny pack with the rest of the stuff I thought I didn't need..........on the ground! After about ten minutes of trying to hook the pack with my shotgun I knew there was only one thing to do.........

Baaaaaaaaack down the tree I go....again. By now the sky is starting to lighten up as the dawn was approaching, at least I didn't have to chew on a flashlight to see where I was going. I tied my rope tothe vest and once again headed for the stand that by now felt like it was 50 feet in the air. About half way up I stopped to catch my breath, with my feet and butt wedged between the two trees I was able to rest for a little while. I tell ya it's not easy hauling 325lbs up and down a tree all morning.

It's just about this time that I notice three does in the middle of the field that the stand over looks starring at me no doubt saying to each other "that's gotta be the dumbest hunter I have ever seen.":D

At the time I didn't see the humor but looking back I makes me laugh.

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

LMAO that is hilarious, but gross at the same time....

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

My wifes cousin and I were turkey hunting in two different spots but not far from eachother one fall. I got settled against a nice tree as it started to drizzle a bit. Sitting there for abotu 30 minutes or so and its just getting light and I hear a loud crack..figured Mike jumped a deer or something..seconds later a nother crack, whap, followed by an OHH SH@T!!!, follwed by the smell of a skunk. When he got back to me I asked him what he was doing, he said he moved to a different spot and sat on asolid black skunk that was curled up against the tree sleeping, luckly he was able to get far enough away from the skunk before it sprayed him, be broke a large branch off a tree and proceeded to beat the skunk over the head.

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

Dumbest thing I ever did was place 100% trust in my GPS unit. I was lost in the woods for two hours with a very large doe in hand and ended up about 1/2 mile from camp on a impassable road. One of the longest days of my life.

Tom

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

Where do I start....I guess with one of my first stories...

I had just started bow hunting. I was using an old Bear White Tail Hunter 2 that had six pullies and was slow. I had a very difficult time adjusting and tuning that bow. At the time I was using a Kolpin four bladed broadhead with helical veined arrows. I went out to the range and the front of the arrow went pretty straight but the back end would make this huge circle which threw the front off. Which reminds me of another story.

I was trying to get my bow to shoot right so I made a last minute trip to the bow range the day before opening. I was a very poor airman at the time and could only afford six arrows. Three to practice with and three to hunt with. I shot my three practice arrows and they were all in the bullseye with practice points. I decide to shoot my broadheads to see if they were still flying squirrley on me. My second shot goes into the bullseye cutting the feathers off of two or three of my practice arrows. That was a killer or should I say a costly shot. Okay back to my first story...

So I'm shooting a bow that is not in tune with it's arrows. ;) But I go out anyway. I walk up to the HUGE oak tree that a friend is letting me hunt out of that has a few boards nailed in it's branchs to stand on. I always looked around to make sure nothing was around before I put my arrow up. (it was already daylight) I take one last look around and spot a small spike looking at me only 20 yards away. I pull on him but he moves away exposing a HUGE doe behind him. So I aim on her and let the arrow fly. I watch as the arrow starts it's tail spin on it's flight between the small scrub oaks. WHACK!!!! The arrow nails one of the oaks smack dab in the center. I can't remove the broadhead so I unscrew the arrow, finish my hunt, then go retrieve my saw from the truck. I cut a 10" section of the tree out, take it home, and mount it on a trophy board...proudly displaying my first bow kill. :)

Happy Hunting
Reid

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

Then there was the time Gary and I were building a bear stand. We had found a nice spot with a small creek flowing down to a larger one. We decided to build the stand between two trees that stradled the smaller creek. The larger one in the background would hide any noise we might make in the stand. We decided to go about 25' up to get us out of the line of sight. One tree was a cedar which had good climbing limbs but the other tree didn't have any limbs till about 30'. So Gary proceeds to climb the cedar with a large rope and a rope seat that I made. He throws the rope around one of the higher branches, ties in the rope seat, gets in, and does a Tarzan swing over to the other tree that is about six feet away. I say Tarzan...it was more of a Gary of the jungle....watch out for that treeeee...thump![:@] Well he gets settled and he pulls up a 2x6 and nails it to the tree while I climb up the cedar and do the same. We get a second 2x6 up so he can stand up and then he hauls up more 2x6's for a base and plywood for the floor. I go down and start working on 2x4's to make a ladder to attach to the bare limbed tree. I start nailing it together when I stop...look up at Gary...and say...hey Gary...let's remember for the next stand we make to build the ladder FIRST and use it to climb the tree. He looked over the edge and said....DUHH!!!!:D Needless to say we built the ladder first on our next tree stand.

I will post a picture later when the web site is up and running...seems to be down this morning.

Happy Hunting
Reid

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

Then there was this time that I was hunting bear out of the stand we built in my post above. It was getting late when I stuck an arrow into the shoulder of a bear. He didn't like that too much so he took off running up the little knoll to the left. I waited 30 minutes then got down and started the second hunt. I followed the blood trail up the knoll and back down into the deep thicket of the creek I was hunting on. There was no way that I was going to crawl down into that hole by myself so I called a friend (who got me into bear hunting) to come up and join in the hunt.

I go back to my truck to wait on Frazier. While I'm standing there I hear something BIG coming out of the bottom next to the road. A minute later a moose and her baby wander out onto the road and turn and walk away from me down the road. The road bends so they disappear from sight. This was my first moose sighting so I was pumped. I hear Frazier bouncing up the road and I fear he is going to come around the bend and hit the moose. All of a sudden they come running (if you can call it that) back around the bend and heading straight for me. So I ease off the road into the brush. The moose turn and run up into the woods straight for me. I look down and realize I'm standing on a game trail...the one they used to get off the road. The mother sees me and turns and runs off but the baby doesn't see me and keeps bulldozing my way. I start backing up and wave my arms and yell!! The baby (which stands almost as tall as I am) finally sees me and cuts off into the woods about 10 yards in front of me. Talk about exciting!:)

Happy Hunting
Reid

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

I was saving this story but since everyone Likes poop stories i guess i'll post it. I was hunting these coal mines in Rifle season, and i was sneaking along and ther was a bend in the road up ahead, i was sneaking REALLY REALLY good too i mean that no branches no leaves nothing, i get around the corner and i stop. Something smelled like S***, and there she was. About 5 yards off the road a girl was doing the lean against a tree method letting one loose, she saw me Screamed and i ran the other direction, never did get her number, would make for an interesting conversation, i never told anyone about that cause i thought it was sorta a bad idea.

Just Another day in the woods of PA
Ryan.

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

you mean...That was you!!!!!??? UGh! I thought I was all alone...:(

One thing I gotta know...what were you stalking wearing those high heels and that dress??



I got a poop story,
A friend of mine and myself decided to put a firecracker in a big pile of poop, well "I" ran for cover, he did too but at the last moment he turned to watch what happens, BOOM! Splat! YUK! He got peppered with poopy pellets.

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

Ok I did forget a turkey hunting story. I had set up at my honey hole and began calling. I then heard a hen calling back at me. Well I thought what the heck and got real aggresive with her. Little did I know she would come flying right to me and I mean right to me. Next thing I know I have a hen knocking my hat off as she flew right into me. But I laid the smack down on a gobbler not 5 minutes later as he came right to me as well...

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

Dumbest thing I ever did:

I was out practicing shooting just before heading out for an afternoon hunt. I got a phone call so I put my bow down and answered it. Some business related matter that ended up being longer than I wanted to because I was heading out to the woods. Finally got the guy off the phone and I grabbed my bow in a hurry, grabbed my gear, jumped in my truck and headed to the woods.

I already decided where I was going to hunt with the wind I had. Ends up being a VERY long hilly walk to this particular stand. I finally make it out there climb up the tree and settle in. Now I'm all situated I reach over to get an arrow to nock.......... :eek:[:-][:-][:-][:-][:-]I left my quiver with arrows sitting on the ground where I was practicing earlier (I shoot with the quiver off).[:@][:@]

I figured there's no way I'm walking all the way back to my truck, going to camp, getting my arrows and making it back to the woods in time. So I just kicked back and enjoyed the scenery untill dark. I was praying a 140" buck wouldn't come by 10 yards broadside that night. Ended up having a couple young does in bowrange and that was about it.

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

Well............ then there's always the "grunt call" story. I dont' like to think about that too much.[:'(][:-][8D]

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

Started out bad....ended good.

I went with some buddies to the Eastern side of our state to hunt one of their leases, last Fall. It was gun season....and I was the only one bowhunting. I drove the ATV out to a good stopping point on the only afternoon I had to hunt.....and hiked into a place I thought would be a good spot. I got ready to climb and realized I had left my release in the fron seat of my truck.

Left my equipment in strange woods at the base of the tree......hiked back to the ATV.....rode back into camp......retrieved my release.......back to park.....hiked back in......sweating like a champ, now. Climbed up.....settled back.....and saw deer. I was the only person in camp to shoot a deer (small buck that I was donating to a needy cause). My spirits were NOT high when I finally settled in.....but the end result was great. It's still the best shot I've ever made on a game animal.

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

Story #4

This falls into the scary and STUPID category.....

My friend, Gary, and I had built this HUGE tree stand for bear hunting. It was about 25' up these big cedar trees, complete with a ladder, railing, carpet, and a roof. We had baited it really hard (back when we could bait) and we had several major trails that had been cut into the stand. We went up two nights before opening day to see what we had coming in. Well much to our surprise we had eight...yes 8...bears coming in. Talk about your feeding frenzy. Well we ended up getting "treed" up the stand both nights for two hours after dark because the bears were all around us. We waited until we didn't hear anything for 30 minutes before we would climb down. Luckily the truck wasn't that far away so we would quietly slip out of the woods and then start high fiveing each other with excitement of what we had just seen and heard. The first bear to come in each night was a cub but mom stayed in the shadows (we did count her). The stand was located at the top of a raven. The second night we heard this noise coming up the raven that lasted about 45 minutes. It sounded like two bears tearing each other apart. They were trashing trees, bushes and anything else to get their point across to each other. Gary and I were wide eyed with excitement and fear. Well they finally worked their way up to the stand. Unfortunately we were so high up and the cover was so thick that we couldn't see anything. We heard snaps and limbs breaking, growling and all kind of noise behind us as they continued to go at it into the night. Finally we heard a death moan. Gary and I looked at each other thinking one of the bears had been killed. Well we wait our 30 minutes of quiet time before we start to head down. I leaned over to Gary and said "you know...there might be a dead bear over there". So we both lapse into a STUPID state, climb down, and start looking for this dead bear. We look here and there but can't find anything. At one point Gary walks ahead of me and I'm shining my light around. All of a sudden I see pine needles falling from the tree to my right through my flashlight beam. I shine my light up the tree and there is baby bear straddling a limb. I call Gary over and we look up and the cub looks like he is dead. Gary shoots a shot from his pistol up through the tree and the cub pees all over the place and climbs higher up the tree. All of a sudden we hear a crash in the brush behind us. REALITY CHECK!!!! HELLLLLLLO!!!!! WHAT ARE WE DOING!!!!!!! MOMMY!!!!!! or MOTHER BEAR!!!!! Gary and I...without saying a word go back to back...our lights scanning the bushes around us...I get his pistol and we walk out...back to back...lights flashing round and round looking for mama bear. We get back to the truck. Sweating puddles...look at each other..."what in the world were we thinking??????"...stare at each other....and then high five...what an experience...

Two days into the hunting season they started clear cutting the woods north of our stand. The next year they turned the whole area south of the road into a wildlife reserve. We never hunted the stand again....talk about scary....

Happy Hunting
Reid[/align]

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

Here are the pictures of the tree stand that Gary and I built. Go back a page or two to read the story of how we put it up.



The rest of the ladder


The landing and part of the seat


The seat is big enough for three BIG guys

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

Fished with hand grenades wrapped in C-4.

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

I was buzzed at the lake & I ate some power bait by mistake.[:'(].there.. I said it ...nuff said [8D]

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

When I first started shooting years ago, I shot my sisters car. That was a fun one to explain.

Shane

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

My "poop" story...........

The morning starts out like any other. I am one for routines. I wake up at 4:00am and roll out of bed and take a scent free shower. I get out of the shower and the dog is going bonkers so I let her out. While she’s out I make a pot of coffee. By the time the coffee is done the dog is ready to come in. I let the dog in, pour a cup of coffee, and sit down at the computer and check out huntingnet before I leave to go hunting for the morning. It’s the same thing EVERY morning.

The morning routine also consists of bodily functions. Just like clockwork after the 2nd cup of coffee I’m heading to the can for my morning crap J. After that I’m good to go. That’s my green light to head to the hunting lodge.

However, the other morning there was a kink in my ritual. Everything went like it usually does except the morning crap part. I was freaking out. NOTHING. I mean not even an inkling of needing to go. I was a little bothered by not needing to crap. All I can picture is getting into my stand and having to go. I delay my departure for 10 minutes hoping for some last minute magic. Nothing doing. I can’t wait anymore or I’ll be late to my stand.

Away I go and my routine carries on. I travel the same route to the hunting lodge. Same radio station. Stop at the same fields to take a glance etc…. All the while in the back of my mind I am deeply disturbed and now officially out of whack for the morning.

I get to the lodge and meet up with my hunting buddies. I try to ignore the fact that I haven’t been to the can yet. I get all my gear on and ready to go to the woods. I thought it wise to get a handful of toilet paper and put it in my pack. Again I’m prolonging my departure to walk to my stand hoping for some last minute movement. Nothing doing. Now I’m actually starting to put it out of my head and figuring everything is ok. I simply just didn’t need to crap this morning for whatever reason.

So I’m off to the woods. I have quite a little walk to get to my stand. I get halfway across the winter wheat field I have to walk across and I feel a strange little “gurgle”. Oh NO I think to myself. I stop dead in my tracks like a deer caught in headlights trying to figure it out. It rumbles again and I get a bad feeling. I gaze back at the walk back to the hunting lodge and try to decide if I should make a dash for it. It’s getting closer to light than I want it to and I don’t want to be late to my stand so I try to psych myself out and ignore it. I walk about 10 more steps and it’s like a volcano getting ready to erupt. I know at this point I’m doomed.

It’s no longer a gurgle or rumble, it’s coming full force now and there is no escaping. I frantically look back at the way I came and then ahead to the edge of the woods as I’m still standing in the middle of an open field. OH man I’m in trouble. There’s no ignoring it anymore.

I start making a mad dash to the edge of the woods. It was a cold morning and I have a lot of gear to shed. My hand warmer (muff) goes flying off. I drop my bow to the ground. I undo my release and wing that. My armguard goes flying. I unbuckle my fanny pack and chuck that someplace. I shed my coat. I’m just about falling over trying to unbuckle my bibs and pull them down. I’m in a marathon dash for my life to get to the woods. I feel like Finch in the movie American Pie when Stifler put Ex-Lax in his drink and he had to go to the bathroom in school. I now have a 50 yard trail of gear through a winter wheat field. I finally get to the edge of the woods and barely get my pants down (I mean BARELY).

WHEW!!! Out it comes. I finally took my morning crap. It’s about 25 degrees out and the wind is blowing pretty hard. I’m half naked and freezing my butt off. One minor problem…. I threw my pack someplace in my scramble and it’s still dark out. The pack that had the toilet paper that is. So I crawl around with my pants down to my ankles trying to find it. Finally find it and do what I have to do. Now I need to pick up the rest of my junk. That takes me quite awhile and it’s now getting light out.

Well I don’t quite know what to make of this morning of mine. I say to myself that’s done and over with and get a little chuckle out of it. I get all my stuff back in order and ready to hunt.

Off to my stand I go. I finally make it to the tree and get all situated. I’m sitting for about 10 minutes after first light and through the woods about 100 yards away I see a buck!! Not too bad of a buck either. He looks like he is veering away from me though. So scramble for my grunt call. I grab it out of the front pocket of my bibs and blow into it. The buck stops!! Wait a minute though what the heck was that?

Well…………….. I unfortunately got a taste of my morning crap. Somehow my grunt call got tangled up in my bibs in such a fashion that I crapped all over it. The thing was smeared in crap!!! I put my clothes back on and never noticed that I crapped all over part of my bibs. I guess in the haste I didn’t quite get them out of the way. I just about threw up. I was gagging for about 20 minutes. The buck must have decided he didn’t like my dry heaving motion and noise. I decided I’d had enough of that morning and headed back to practice some much needed oral hygiene. I don’t want to get into too much detail, but let’s just say there was “ample” amount of crap on my grunt call. Something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. That was truly disgusting.

I got back to hunting camp and felt obligated to tell the crew about the happenings. I’ve never seen grown men laugh so hard in all my life.

What a crappy experience.

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

i feel sorrry for you, thats nasty

RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
 

I almost got in trouble for laughing so damn hard at that one NY Bowhunter. That has to be the worst one yet!