Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

Here's the story. I am deer hunting for the first time EVER this year. I have gone out 3 times so far since archery season started here in KS. I teamed up with a fellow from my work who has deer hunted for 8 years. He has family property in western KS and has hunted public land around here years ago. I was able to get permission for both of us to hunt 100 acres 1 1/2hr north of where I live and have gained permission for more property 1 1/2 hrs south of here as well.

Last Saturday we went to the north property.We are hunting from ground blinds on this property and only about 60 yards from each other. I watched as a fork horn buck walkedin to 20 yards from my fellow hunter. My heart started racing since I have the only archery tag between us. He got spooked and ran away. If the deer hadwalked past him, I would have had a 30-40 yard shot.
Later that day, we went down to the south property and looked it over. We found out that the farmer had been putting out corn to keep the deer from eating his beans. Deer have already destroyed a bean field to the east of this farmer (supposedly 50-60 deer were seen 2 weeks ago in the field). Thisfarmer also counted 16 does last Thursday on his35 acre property and considers this a problem. He was happy to have us hunt his land.
Sunday morning we went back down and set up in tree stands the farmer already had set up.We were set up on opposite ends, the southand north end of this field, roughly 300-400 yards apart both facing into the field. At 8:40 AM I heardthe signal that my fellow hunter had taken a doe. According to the farmer, the deer normally should/would have traveled to the north end where I was set up, they never did. Later I found out, two does and 2 fawns showed up on the south end, only 3 of them left the field. Oh, I left out that we set in the rain for about an hour before he shot this doe.

I was happy for him to harvest a deer, but was sad that I did not. :(
Because it was raining and he did not have any rain gear, I chose not to go back out in the evening. This also allowed us to get back home early since it we were out late the night before and we both had to work Monday.
When we got back to town, he gave the deer away to a co-worker. I asked him why he gave the doe away. He said because both he and his wife have firearm tags for section 1 in western KS.The other day he asked meto consider going back down this weekend. Now, I find out hehas told another coworker that he would give them a deer.

I told him that that I would go back down this weekend, but that if he got another doe and I cameback empty handed that I would not take him down there again. He asked me today if I was serious about saying that yesterday. I said that I was. He of course feels that I am being a ridiculous and that I should not act this way. Today he said that he might as well not go down then. Because I am much heavier then him, the tree stand he was in will not support my weight. So, we cannot just switch ends of the field. His attitude is that if a doe walks past him again, he will take the shot.

My feeling on it: he knows I have never taken a deer and he could have passed up the shot to give me an opportunity to harvest my first deer. All 3 times I have went deer hunting, it was with him. I have spent the last 2 years, getting ready to try my hand at deer hunting. I was the person who asked permission for us to hunt on these lands. I feel he at least owes me the chance to either bag my first deer or miss.


What would you do in my position???

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

I can understand your position. How many deer ahs this guy taken with a bow? The least he could have done was offer you the meat from the deer since you invited him out to hunt on some property that YOU did the legwork on.

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

Relax and go huntin. You never know where they are going to come from. This is about having fun

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

Not trying to start a war here but I think you're being immature about the situation. Hunting isn't all about killing, it's about being out there. If he shot a deer good. If he shoots another one good. If you don't kill one don't getmad at him cuz he did, thats ridiculous.Thats what hunting is, it's not a guarantee. I do agree with the other post that he shoulda offered to give ya the deer. But don't get mad because he happened to set up or whoever set him up in a good postion where the deer are traveling. If you can't use that stand because it won't support you, take the ground blind and set up somewhere else

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

The way it sounds to me, there are plenty of deer out there. Get after it and hunt. Hunt those corn piles or trails leading to them. It does seem that it would have been courteous for the other guy to offer you the deer if he didn't want it, but I wouldn't sweat it. A lot of people would be glad to have the hunting situation you seem to have there, close to the house and all. Get out there and hunt!

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

Good replys, I do a lot of hunting by myself and enjoy it. Sometimes it nice to haveanother person to share the experience with, but, just go out and learn how to hunt. I spent the first 4 years bow hunting to never even get a shot. But I learned a lot, and have good success. Good luck in your hunts, and dont let someone else spoil it for you. If you do it was your choice to let them get to you.

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

the way i see it chestnut.your coworkerdid the right thing by taking the doe.the reason i say this is because if he would of allowed that doe to pass him what makes you think that doe would of came by you. there is a lot of different routes for this does to take. iknow there is that "what if".

dont sweat the small stuff. enjoy being out there. the way i see it, the more time your out there hunting the better you get and youlearn a lot more.

the bad thing about you being rude to the coworker is that you lost some private property to hunt on, and he could of showed you the spots to hunt on the public hunting areas.

the only thing i see wrong or disrespectful from the coworker is that he didnt offer themeat to you. he should of offered it to you first. have fun and make new friends. happy hunting!

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

If you didn't want him to shoot the deer why did you take him along? It's pretty selfish on your part to take someone hunting and then expect them to just sit there and let deer walk by so that they may come your way. What would you have him do if not shoot the deer? Is he just your traveling companion that you have along for advice?
Sounds a little harsh I guess, but I'm really curious as to what your intent for him was...if not to kill a deer.
Also, you said...."Last Saturday we went to the north property.We are hunting from ground blinds on this property and only about 60 yards from each other. I watched as a fork horn buck walkedin to 20 yards from my fellow hunter. My heart started racing since I have the only archery tag between us." So, if the guy did not have a tag, why was he hunting in the first place? Did he get a tag before he took the doe?
Maybe I missed something in your story and if so, I'm sorry. Just sounds a little off to me.

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

No, I left something out. I have the only archery either sex tag. He has only a doe tag since his buck tag is for area 1 in western KS.

I think you all are missing the point here. I do not just want the meat. If I did,I would just let him do the shooting, put my tags on themand I would keep my a$$ in the truck. Hell, if I just wanted the meat, my stepbrother is a sheriff deputy of that county and he offered to call me whenever he takes a deer/car accident call.

Yes,it does seem to be plenty of deer around this place he took his doe. But,he will have the opportunity to take a deer or twosince he has 2firearm tags. He has gotten greedy thinking he will be able to buy every legal tag and fill each one of them.

Let me tell you something, it is no fun sitting 20ft in the air with your a$$ trying to sit on a board that measures less then 6" X 9" with no paddingwhen you weigh 300lbs. This isthe only field on this property. I have read many posts about how important cover scent is when ground hunting. I am not sure if I have that covered yet.

What I have not told you is that he is the type of person that complains about people not giving him the opportunity to hunt deer on their land. Yet, he has sole permission to hunt land about 2 1/2hrs east of here, but complains of the distance he has to drive to get there. Which is a much shorter drive then out to western KS. He did take a doe from that property last year during firearm season.

And what makes thewhole situation worse is the I am his supervisor. So, Icannot not show any grudgeagainst him at work. Plus he is about15 yrs older then I am.

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

I think a real friend would try and help you get your first deer.

The person you are hunting with apparently is not, he is just a hunting buddy. Once you accept that, maybe you can come up with a solution. If you start a war here, it may carry over to work.

One thing, if this guy is going to shoot everything that walks by him, you need to be further away from him, regardless.

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

Thanks for clearing up the tag issue, but I go back to my original question. Why did/do/will you take him along if you don't want him to kill a deer? You are the one who got permission to hunt the property. Go by yourself or find another partner if it's bothering you that much.

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

Why would you bring someone with you that doesn't have tags to use? That part of the whole thing doesn't make any sense. As far as him letting the deer walk. You are asking way too much. You're right it is tough sitting 20' in a tree waiting for something to come by. Do you realistically think he is going to let the deer walk on by?

In addition if the farmer said that the deer were coming down by you and they have seemed to change thier pattern I would take a look at your scent control. Is your blind scent free? What are you eating? Do you wash your clothes in scent free?

To answer you question, yes I think you were wrong with what you said but more so because you brought someone with you that doesn't have tags to use.

Tom

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

Just man up and talk to him about it. No whining, no rudeness, just let him know you REALLY would like his help in taking your first deer. Never assume anyone knows your feelings or thoughts. The most important thing is if you are not having FUN (which is what hunting is supposed to be about) then you need to find another situation to put yourself in. I wish I could find someone to go out with me. Due to me being a military spouse and traveling for my job I never make any friends where I live so I always hunt alone and it would be great to have someone to hunt with. Feel fortunate you have a hunting buddy that has some experience he can pass on to you.

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

If it were me and you took me hunting, I would shoot the deer. You're acting like you are 12, dude grow up. Did you explain to him that you wanted him to help you take your first deer? If someone asks me to go hunting with them, it's open season. If they ask me to help them get one, I will do all that is within my power to help them get one including passing shots of deer that may pass by me going toward you. But if a BIG buck walks by, I may be tempted. You invited him to go, what did you expect him to do. And if you are his supervisor, then act like a supervisor. Work is work, hunting is hunting, don't confuse the two because they are completely different. You seem to want to take advantage of the situation because you are his super. From what you explained I wouldn't want to go hunting with you because you are the type to carry your grudges into work and make my job hell. Just my 2 cents

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

Like others have said there is never a sure thig in hunting. If you keep after it and not worry about what he is shooting your chances will come. You should be happy for him harvesting a deer not mad.

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

I think your being unfair. Just because he passes up a shot doesn't mean the deer will come to you. I've had deer 2 ft away from offering me a shot and it doesn't happen. I would tell him how important it is to you to get a deer and ask for his help. But to say he can't shoot a deer if you don't is childish. There's plenty of deer, and maybe next years you'll be in the situation he is. Would you want him to tell you he won't hunt with you if you get more deer than him?

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

If Im getting this right...your basically upset that his spot is better than yours but if you wanted you couldn't sit there anyway. I don't know why it is his spot? It's your land to hunt just find a different spot and put a stand up on that field. Put in some scouting time and kill your own deer. Don't ask him to go this weekend and just go by yourself and kill a deer, or try.Tell him that your hunting that field this time and hehas to sit somewhereels, thats not unfair. You let him come with you, he can let you sit where the deer are at if he already shot one. He doesn't have much choice.

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

exactly

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

300 to 400 yrds apart? There is a good chance that if he let the deer walk that you would of never seen them.

It sounds like you invited him to Hunt, not sit. Take it easy, enjoy the experiance and be happy that one of you scored. When its you turn you will want him there.

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

Hell no you're not wrong. I'd want to fill my own tags .... period. I certainly don't want hiim filling my tag based on a promise of giving a deer to someone else. I think you maybe didn't explain it right to him. YOU want to fill your own tags or have it go to waste if you fail. If he fills your tag your year is done and you can't go hunting. No you're not wrong. I take it that Kansas lets someone fill someone elses tag???? If not, what he's suggesting is illegal too. The only place where I think you're out of line is suggesting he NOT shoot so you might get an extra chance. If somone hasn't gotten a deer I give them all the best spots and all the help I can. BUT, if I'm sitting in a tree by myself and decide to shoot, it's not to take something from you but to give myself a chance. You're both out there to succeed. Don't begrudge him that. BUT, you're first deer hasn't happened. Fill your own tag and tell him that's how it'll be. You're sorry, but you want to become the arrow.... not the extra tag for someone else.

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

Go alone. You can do it. What you goof up will make you learn. Go out, spend the whole day by yourself, learning how. Nobody to talk to, nobody to look at....it's wonderful. When you get that deer, it will be even more satisfying than you ever imagined. Don't rely on someone else, rely on yourself. Don't be envious of that guy either. Envy is a deadly sin, and I'm not even religious. You are being unfair to that guy, leave him alone.

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

Are you looking to this friend as a hunting buddy or are you looking to him tas a hunting mentor? If he's just a hunting buddy you're whining and being an ass......sometimes patience is the hardest thing to learn when hunting deer, you sit there for hours waiting in ambush freezeing your ass off and don't see anything, you're frustrated and you're taking it out on him.If he's mentoring you he should probably be doing a better job, he should be helping you get your first kill, guiding you and giving advice, giving you positive reinforcement, etc......if he's not doing that then find another mentor or get out there and do it on your own.[/align][/align]One piece of advice I'll give is this. You seem to be traveling a long way to hunt, and it's probably really adding to your frustration level. There's a lot of deer in surburbia,find some place closer. I live 20 miles outside the Washington DC beltway and do a lot of hunting in small woodlots in peoples back yards....that's where the majority of the doe's I take come from....I work flex time and get off work at 3PM and hunt at least a couple of times a week..two of the three doe's I've taken so far this yer came form back yards. [/align]

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

The answer to your posts title is DEFINITELY YES - you are being unfair!!!

So much so, that I don't even understand your logic here!?! Why do you think that this fella would even go if he wasn't allowed to hunt? Isn't that why he went...to hunt?

How about if he didn't actually kill anything. Would it be ok if he was to make his hand to the shape of a gun, and then yell "BANG" at the deer???

You could be happy for your friend who did get a deer! He was probably pretty stoked, and your attitude is probably nothing but a buzz kill! Bet that was really fun for him. :eek:

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

Get rid of the bitterness, put it behind you, and GO HUNT!!

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

I think you guys jumping him for not letting the guy fill his tag for him is out of line. True, our guy seems to have a little jealousy thing going about the guy could have let them walk in hopes they'd come my way. But I think we've straightened him out on that. But the question now is does he have to let Guy B fill his tag for him. I say no. The guy wants to become a bowhunter. HE wants to kill his own deer. And that's what he should tell the guy. You can come and all that, but if you shoot a deer I'm not tagging it. I want the opportunity to tag my own deer. If the guy doesn't see the reasoning in that, well hell, I don't want to hunt with him anyway. We find out over the years that the best person to hunt with is usually ourselves.

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

I can see how you feel. I don't think a deer or hunting permission should affect a friendship. If you feel he is taking advantage of your situation then find a new hunting partner.

I was fortunate that my hunting buddy who got me into bow hunting did everything in his power to try to get my first deer. Anytime he saw deer he would tell me where to place my stand. I got my first deer last year and he was not there. When I shot my first bow buck (8 pointer) last November he was there and he was as excited as I was.

Life is too short hunt with people you like and treat you the way you want to be treated.

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

On the question of him useing your tags......totally agree with davidmil on that......he shouldn't even be broaching that subject.[/align]

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

That's what I was trying to say.

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

I assumed the guy had his own doe tags. Tell him you are NOT tagging his deer with your tags, and that he is FIRED! hahaha

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

If you are too heavy to hunt "his" stand, buy a pop up blind, or just cut a few limbs and make a ground blind. If the farmer wants the deer killed, he wouldn't care about you trimming a few trees. (I'd still check with him first) Just sit there and wait the deer out. If you've never killed a deer, you may need his experience with field dressing, or help with the dragging. A 100lb doe feels like 250lbs after you've drug it a few hundred yards by yourself. They make stands that support over 300lbs, Wally world has a 2 man stand that is rated for 500lbs and is $100. Plenty of room to stretch out in it. Good luck on your first deer, but don't be ticked off when you invite a guy on a deer hunt and he takes one..... thats time for pics and memories, not grudges.

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

If im getting this right, he killed a doe and he had a doe tag, So he didnt fill your tag. Who cares what he did with his deer. He killed it he owns it. This whole story sounds like maybe you should take up another sport. Your a supervisor so you mightbe used to people doing your work foryou, in the woods you aregoing to have do your own work. Your co-worker did nothing wrong.I could probably ramble for an hour about whatan a$$hole you might be but it doesntseem worth it. Tell your buddy congrats on the kill.

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

Sounds like you need a new stand, or maybe a new hobby.

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

Mr nuts, you are being way to uptight about this, you need to relax. one day you might even realize its not allabout the kill.

please tell me you arent this uptight with the rest of "your" employees.

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

Sounds like they've pretty much covered it. You shouldn't have expected him to not shoot the deer and you really couldn't reasonably expect the same deer to offer you a shot several hundred yards away across a field. As long as he's using his own tag he did nothing anybody else wouldn't do.

I understand that you're new to hunting so I'll cut you some slack and just say that if you invite somebody to hunt with you then they have just as much right to shoot a deer as you do. Regardless who obtained permission to hunt the land you both made the hour and a half drive and you both sat on stand, you've both made the investment and deserve the chance to reap the rewards if given.

My suggestion to hopefully help you acheive your goal would be as follows:

Do some reading on scent control. It doesn't sound like you hunted the location enough to say that your friend saw deer and you didn't because you did something wrong but I think it's safe to say that scent control is one of the most important parts of bow hunting and as a rookie you probably aren't doing all you can or should.

Get yourself a stand of your own. One that you feel comfortable will support your weight. There are many out there rated above 300lbs. You can't always rely on the landowner to have stands set-up for you and if you do you don't really have any room to complain if they aren't sturdy enough or comfortable enough for you. Get your own and not only will those problems be solved but you'll be able to put your stand wherever you want.

Good luck, I hope you get that first deer under your belt this year. Just remember archery hunting requires patience and perseverence.

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

Sounds to me you are being a little self-centered on this matter. If you invite someone to come hunting with you then you should enjoy the experience of the hunt together. It isn't about who gets what. You should have been happy for him and congratulated him. Just because you are his boss at work doesn't mean he is your employee while hunting. I also have several employees and a few I do some things with outside of work. They understand work is work and play is play. You should treat him as a friend outside of work and not begrudge him for his kill. Sounds to me that you should take some lessons from him since you are new to hunting. I wouldn't alienate him just because he killed one and you didn't.

I think you made the wrong move. You made yourself sound like an immature spoiled brat in my humble opinion. And to think, you are supposed to be a leader by setting the example.

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

You are being petty about everything but him not offering you some meat. If he is expecting to hunt using your doe tag then he's wrong about that too. I would just get used to being disappointed about taking deer and difficult weather conditions because face it, that's about 90% of hunting. I would just tell him it would be considerate on his part to offer you a portion of the doe. Seems like common courtesy. You sound like a friend that told me once I was cutting off "His" deer when I put up a stand 400 yards from his on a hillside, when he was my guest! Stop being bitter and enjoy the hunt.

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

Also I'd harvest my own deer but I have donated some deer before and given some to fellow co-workers who don't hunt but like venision. If the landowner wants some doe thinned/managed your on the right track to balance out the ratio. But I would not give anyone my tags, you shoot it you tag it. I'm a big guy also, plenty of ladder stands out there and climbers like summit goliath to support us big guys

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

OK TIME TO SET SO THINGS STRAIGHT.......
1)I was excited for him to harvest a deer. Itook pictures with my camera phoneso he would have photos to show his wife.I even helped him track the damn thingcuz he lost site of it!!!Theonly real regret I have is not being able to see him shot the doe.I think watchingthe shot in person is much more exciting then watching it on TV.I sort of understand the rush you get when a deer presents itself. Watching that little buckgave mea tasteof it.

2) He had, as it was put to me by F&G, an "any legal means" doe tag. I have one also.
Yes, hestarted to shot at the second doe before she ran off and was going to have me put my tag on it.
NO, I would not put my tagon a deer thatwasnot shot by me. We had this discussion both days. I thought I had made myself clear that I would not tag any deer he shot. Especially that "fork horn" buck that he started to draw on.

3)I believe he has taken 3 does with his bow.

4) Hesaid that he washelping me to get my first deer. YES, I expected him to help with things like shot placement, gutting, skinning, tracking. Maybe even sit with me and coach. Hunting mentor?? Probably more then a deer hunting buddy. We huntedturkeythis spring togetherand shot our first turkeys at the same time. Was I mad when he got shot his second turkey without me, NO. I was disappointed that Idid not fill my second tag even tho I took the last day of the spring season off work and worked my butt off on public land.

5) Even tho I cannot fit into the harness, I have a ladder tree stand.Did not have it with us on Saturday and we figured it would scare off the deer if we were to put it up Sunday morning.

6)Scent control --Yes, I have washed several sets of clothes with no scent laundry soap. I spray Earth cover scent on my before I head to the field. Am I missing something -- absolutely. After all, I am a beginner and there is bound to be something I miss besides a deer.

7)As far as hunting too far from home. I live in one of the only counties that has absolutely no public hunting area. The farmers around here refuse to allow anyone to hunt their lands. There seem to be "No Hunting" and "No Trespassing" signs everywhere

8)To all you A$$HOLES out there thatattack me and accuse me of being a bad supervisor, well...let me just say: I have not done anything to him this week. In fact I tried to start a polite conversation with him today at lunch (non-work relatedand off the clock)and he really did not want to talk to me. I have given him his space, butexpected him to do his work when he was given instructions. Since work is slow this week, I just gave him a list of the jobs that needed completed each day and then checked upto make sure those jobs were done. That is in no way different from what I do any other day. There just was no BS'ing about anything else.

After re-reading my first post, I found that what I said is not what I intended to mean. When I said, "I told him that that I would go back down this weekend, but that if he got another doe and I cameback empty handed that I would not take him down there again." What I meant was that I would not go hunt that land with him again. Did I mean that when I talked to him, YES. Did Iuse those words exactly, I cannot remember. Some of you have pointed out that we both have permission to hunt the land to the south, so he can go down there whenever/if he wants. I have no intention of even trying to stop him.

As far as work, we have always been able to leave it there. This is the first time anything non work related has caused a problem.

Will I still bow hunt, YES!!!!!
Will I hunt with him again?? I will have to wait and seewhat he says.

What has this post taught me....never ask for advice like this from here again. Too many of you have negative views about everyone. I also see that hunting brings out the worst in some people.

To those of you whom gave positive advice and took up for me, I thank you. I hope to one day meet you in the woods to shake you hand.

Thank You,

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

That's a shame. Generally advice on here (if there is enough interest in the post) will always be accurate as was the advice you were generally given. Just because members here don't "take up for you", doesn't mean that they do not have objectivity. You seem like a novice hunter who needs to relax and just enjoy being outdoors and learn to be SELF Sufficient. Of course, one of the best ways to learn is to hunt with someone who has more experience, but, if you chose a particular partner and he doesn't do exactly what you want then either you need to communicate better, grow-up, orfind a new partner (if possible).

I really hope you don't quit hunting, but that you take a step back and look at the big picture and just try to learn what you can and enjoy yourself.

RE: Am I being unfair??? (long story)
 

Yes, grow up!