RE: shot gun for small lady
I would suggest a Mossberg Youth Model pump in 20 gauge. Inexpensive and they fit small people really well. I used to sell guns, and small stature women and kids really liked it over the Remington version due to the location of the fore grip. If you think it kicks, and it might since it's fairly light, you can take it to a competent gunsmith and have the rifle ported to reduce the felt recoil.
I would shy away from Traditions auto-loaders. Where I worked, we received three of them, and all three had to go back to the factory before they ever got put on the shelf.
One suggestion you might try, hang out at the club you plan to shoot clays at (take the boy and let him shoot). Talk to the shooters. Some would probably even let you shoot their guns to see what you can handle. Regardless, most would probably help you locate just the firearm for you.