Gary Alt has resigned in disgrace due largely to exposure of the flaws in his management strategy pointed out by the diligence of LDD (Larry, Darryl, and Darryl) on these very boards. Larry, Darryl and Darryl will take over immediately managing for a DBET ratio of 1:1 (Deer Behind Every Tree). AR will be lifted and a bounty will be immediately placed on all male deer. Mommy deer will be protected until the desired DBET of 1:1 is reached. DD (Darryl and Darryl of course) will be the cheifs of AR police and any hunter observed passing a small buck will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. DD will also temporarily take over the computer modeling till the approprite bean counter on crack can be located.
When asked about the recent overthrow Silinsky has been quoted as saying " it's a bad day indeed for all those spikes and forkies I had to pass"
DD's (Darryl and Darryl) response to the recent develpoments: " We will now seek a OWDD (over winter deer density) of 72 deer PFSM (per forested square mile), a density of 23 PPSM (per paved square mile) and a density of 33 DDDDPSM (DD's Discretionary Density per Square Mile) a BD ratio of 1:95. we will accomplish this by giving out unlimited buck tags and protecting the does the way it ought to be.
The PGC will spew out a "factoid statistic of the Day" to further keep the public informed. An unnamed LDD supporter was quoted as saying " there's no end to the numbers we can crunch"
Good news for Pennsylvanias foresters too! No more pesky oaks that take so long to grow! Soon the state will be beautifully landscaped with ferns, striped maples and in many places no pesky trees at all!
Autobody shops will experience an economic boom as well.
PennDot has commissioned a study on the durability of roadkill as a pothole filler.
Alt was unavailable for comment. It's been rumored that he may be hiding in a cave in Iowa, Illinois, or Kansas where he still has a few misguided supporters.
An investigation has also been launched into the secret PGC coyote stocking program. Heads will undoubtedly roll!
