The Greatest Tactical Shooter in the World - Spoof
He has perfected the "Zero Point Sling"; his weapons naturally gravitate toward him.
His tacti-cool gear is Hot Pink, yet he still terrifies his opponents.
He conducts "El Presidente" drills for the President.
If he were to conduct a room clearing drill in your house, its market value would rise 50%.
He can shoot a "dedicated pair" using only ONE round.
Even when the enemy is behind him, he has them in his "natural point of aim".
His tactical reloads are faster than the eye can see.
His emergency reloads have been known to cause sonic booms.
He can shoot effectively from any position, even fetal.
His "range dance" made Fred Astaire retire.
He doesn't use a "bullet drop compensator", HIS bullets don't drop.
He has never had a "type three" malfunction in combat, but will set one up just to level the playing field.
When he unslings his weapon, entire nations surrender.