The Greatest Tactical Shooter in the World - Spoof
04-11-2011, 05:06 PM
#1
Fork Horn
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Altadena CA
Posts: 494
The Greatest Tactical Shooter in the World - Spoof
He has perfected the "Zero Point Sling"; his weapons naturally gravitate toward him.
His tacti-cool gear is Hot Pink, yet he still terrifies his opponents.
He conducts "El Presidente" drills for the President.
If he were to conduct a room clearing drill in your house, its market value would rise 50%.
He can shoot a "dedicated pair" using only ONE round.
Even when the enemy is behind him, he has them in his "natural point of aim".
His tactical reloads are faster than the eye can see.
His emergency reloads have been known to cause sonic booms.
He can shoot effectively from any position, even fetal.
His "range dance" made Fred Astaire retire.
He doesn't use a "bullet drop compensator", HIS bullets don't drop.
He has never had a "type three" malfunction in combat, but will set one up just to level the playing field.
When he unslings his weapon, entire nations surrender.
His tacti-cool gear is Hot Pink, yet he still terrifies his opponents.
He conducts "El Presidente" drills for the President.
If he were to conduct a room clearing drill in your house, its market value would rise 50%.
He can shoot a "dedicated pair" using only ONE round.
Even when the enemy is behind him, he has them in his "natural point of aim".
His tactical reloads are faster than the eye can see.
His emergency reloads have been known to cause sonic booms.
He can shoot effectively from any position, even fetal.
His "range dance" made Fred Astaire retire.
He doesn't use a "bullet drop compensator", HIS bullets don't drop.
He has never had a "type three" malfunction in combat, but will set one up just to level the playing field.
When he unslings his weapon, entire nations surrender.
04-12-2011, 05:32 PM
#2
Fork Horn
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Altadena CA
Posts: 494
He has never had to reacquire a target.
ANY gun he shoots “makes major”.
The four universal firearms safety rules do not apply to him.
He has only one level of competence… and it’s beyond human comprehension.
He has never had to dry practice (see no. 2).
He can completely disassemble, clean, and reassemble his firearm before his opponent can clear a type 1 malfunction.
His after action drills have prompted armies to surrender.
ANY gun he shoots “makes major”.
The four universal firearms safety rules do not apply to him.
He has only one level of competence… and it’s beyond human comprehension.
He has never had to dry practice (see no. 2).
He can completely disassemble, clean, and reassemble his firearm before his opponent can clear a type 1 malfunction.
His after action drills have prompted armies to surrender.
