I am just like you are. I really don't know the answer. I used to strictly gun hunt and it didn't bother me if I went or not. But, when I picked up the bow everything changed. As a matter of fact I don't even pick the gun up anymore. I am strictly a bowhunter now. It was like I became a whole different person. The one thing you said that sticks out that I say to my wife is it is who I am, it is part of me. I don't know if it's the challenge, or knowing everytime you go out there is that chance that big one you've been waiting for may walk past. I have a shirt that says, Bowhunting, The Drug There Is No Cure For! This is definitely a true statement when it comes to me.