Don't beat yourself up too bad cause you know what? You learned a valuable lesson. Don't forget what happened tonight and why. Next time take the steps to avoid having another hunt turn out the same way. I noticed mistake after mistake but such is the learning process. I do not advocate any of what you did and I'll offer some advice hunter to hunter. When muzzleload hunting ALWAYS reload right after the shot while at the same time watching( if you can) what the deer is doing. Never hunt with a weapon you are unfamiliar with because of safety mostly. ALWAYS try to be prepared for any situation. Things can happen pretty fast when your out there. I know you'll learn as you gain more experience. Don't be greedy as you stated wanting to put more meat in the truck. Never kill a animal in order to learn how to hunt... rather learn how to hunt in order to kill an animal.
Live it up! Doug