Originally Posted by Bob H in NH

You've said a lot of things, some of which, in my opinion, need to be explored.

First off, are you wrong to restrict hunting? Nope. Punishment, in whatever form, has to be a price. If hunting is something he enjoys and cares about and won't want to lose, then it's a good target to use. If it's something he can personaly "take it or leave it" then you may have the wrong target.

Your Mom doesn't get a say. She raised you, you raise your son, it's your call.

Now the other things I keyed in on when reading, just for background, I have two sons, 19 and 17, both are honor roll students, one is a SERIOUSLY hard worker to get the grades, the other is "naturally" smarter, but hit a wall junior year with his Spanish 3 class.

You have to set realistic goals for his grades. Not saying you are or not, but not all students are going to get A's in AP level classes for example. In the case of my son and Spanish 3, originally our requiremnent for him was a B or better, same as all his other classes, which had never been a problem. He ended with a C+ and he busted his butt to get that. We where, not thrilled, but satisfied and he wasn't punished in any way. he worked his butt off, did extra study time etc.

So step 1: Are you standards for your sons grades realistic? If so, move to step 2. Only you can answer this.

Step 2: What are the issues? You mentioned he's lazy. That is probably the key factor. REQUIRE him to show you his homework and give you a schedule for his tests. REQUIRE him to show you ever quiz, test or paper he gets with a grade on it. Study habits and study skills do not come naturally to some. Build them now.

Step 3: The IEP could be an issue. Some special-ed teachers do the work for the kids. My wife is a math teacher and some of the teachers who work with the IEP kids really **** her off, they give the answers, do the homework etc for the kids, they call it "help", but the kids see it as "why should I do it?" Find out if this is an issue. Get a meeting with BOTH the teacher and the IEP person and talk about what type of "help" your son is getting, make sure they are doing as you said you where and "directing" not "doing". The job is not to do the work for them, but to teach the student how to do the work while living with whatever the condition that creates the IEP is.

Step 4: Follow through on Step 1-3.

Step 2 is probably the hardest to follow through on, he will resist.

Back to taking away hunting. If he is "lazy" he is not getting his work done with good quality. Doing so takes time, he needs to put more time onto it, so taking other things away that take time, is they way. If he wants to hunt, he has to get the grades.

Good grades create options, each option creates other options. My older son pushed on us one night about "high school grades won't matter in 10 years, so why should I care?" Was simple I explained:
- Good high school grades get your college choice options
- College choice options can make you more marketable for your first job
- First job gets you a starting pay, which leads to future benefits.

Each step creates options for the next step. Fail at one step, you restrict the options in the next step. Simple.