Questioning Myself in Regard to Son's Hunting Season... Any Advice?
08-31-2009, 10:06 PM
#51
Typical Buck
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 595
You have my son !!!!! I cant believe it, you have described my son to a tee.
Now, my son is a great kid, the teachers love him and give him every chance there is. He failed 2 classes last year and we had to be the ones to send him to summer school. He's so smart also, 95's on exams but doesn't do his homework and fails.
Anyways, we took him to counciling last year and I thought that was a waste of time. Alls he said was, for us to let him go, let him fail, let him learn the hard way. Why have all this termoil in your house bla,bla,bla......... whatever, I will demand he pass school.
As far as hunting, look at it this way. My son is 14 now and he will be hunting with me, no matter what. Kids that hunt do develop better and these years can never be replaced. There will never be another "first" day. Include him in family hunting, you will never regret it.
You want to be a hard ass about grades, I don't blame you. I told my son that this is it. He likes the best clothes, the best sneaker ect., ect and so on. Keep your grades up. Because when I buy his clothes used and the $15 sneakers from walmart and feed him 3 squares a day as the law states, life as he knows it will be over..
Anyways, good luck and take the kid hunting...
Now, my son is a great kid, the teachers love him and give him every chance there is. He failed 2 classes last year and we had to be the ones to send him to summer school. He's so smart also, 95's on exams but doesn't do his homework and fails.
Anyways, we took him to counciling last year and I thought that was a waste of time. Alls he said was, for us to let him go, let him fail, let him learn the hard way. Why have all this termoil in your house bla,bla,bla......... whatever, I will demand he pass school.
As far as hunting, look at it this way. My son is 14 now and he will be hunting with me, no matter what. Kids that hunt do develop better and these years can never be replaced. There will never be another "first" day. Include him in family hunting, you will never regret it.
You want to be a hard ass about grades, I don't blame you. I told my son that this is it. He likes the best clothes, the best sneaker ect., ect and so on. Keep your grades up. Because when I buy his clothes used and the $15 sneakers from walmart and feed him 3 squares a day as the law states, life as he knows it will be over..
Anyways, good luck and take the kid hunting...
09-01-2009, 01:22 AM
#52
Fork Horn
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 235
WNYhunter. 
It was described to me from a great friend of mine as fullfilling his needs and to hell with his wants. BTDT. Hopefully we'll get somewhere this year since it's a new year/clean slate. I've been talking to him all this summer about how important it is that he study and get his work done so we can hunt and do things.
I'll be calling the school for an IEP meeting with his teachers & Principal to see if I can get extra books.
Thanks for the idea Centaur 1.
It was described to me from a great friend of mine as fullfilling his needs and to hell with his wants. BTDT. Hopefully we'll get somewhere this year since it's a new year/clean slate. I've been talking to him all this summer about how important it is that he study and get his work done so we can hunt and do things. I'll be calling the school for an IEP meeting with his teachers & Principal to see if I can get extra books.
Thanks for the idea Centaur 1.
09-01-2009, 05:39 AM
#55
Nontypical Buck
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 3,406
Ava, you have been given a lot of advice to this thread because, for the most part, people truly care, including myself. Plus, I appreciated the fact that you took time to answer everyone individually.
I think the bottom line here is that in your heart, you know what is best for your son - You are his MOM. Please let us know his progress. Hopefully he will see the light and spend time with you in the deer woods this hunting season.
I think the bottom line here is that in your heart, you know what is best for your son - You are his MOM. Please let us know his progress. Hopefully he will see the light and spend time with you in the deer woods this hunting season.
09-01-2009, 11:20 AM
#56
Giant Nontypical
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location:
Posts: 6,357
There is a question as to whether your son can do the work. Can he handle the academic work? IF he can handle the work, then he is making a choice to NOT DO the work. I don't see why it is your problem or that you are being a bad mother when the choice is his to to or to not do the work. The deal is simple: (1) do the work, earn at least mediocre grades, and you get to go deer hunting and (2) don't do the work, do not earn at least mediocre grades, and you do NOT GET TO GO deer hunting. Not a problem. It is entirely in your son's hands whether he hunts of not. If he can't handle the work, then it may be a different story.
It is my opinion that there is little more determinative of the life that our children will live than the education we provide to them -- first in grade/high school and later in college. We do not do them good service to allow them to take it easy in the early grades or in high school -- when frankly the school work is easier anyway than in college or in the work world. It doesn't get easier, it gets HARDER. You better start right now with you son taking care of his academics or you'll never turn the corner. That's my opinion.
Now, it may be helpful to work with your son when he has problems. Look at his academic work and see what the hang-up is. If you don't understand the subject, schedule an appointment with his teacher and the three of you -- your son, the teacher, and you -- talk through the difficulties. With my own children -- three of them -- generally what I discovered was they were not putting in a quality effort, for one reason or another, when their grades dipped downwards. They delayed working on a project or doing their lessons too long. They studied while distracted by (1) television, (2) phone text messages, or (3) other distractions and hence did not spend quality time on studying. They didn't turn homework in. They didn't exercise the self-discipline to remember they had a test so they didn't study for it (perhaps because they were focusing on something unrelated to school). All of these contributed to their underperforming for their abilities. By riding herd on them -- watching them closely, intervening when grades dipped down -- they did much better than if I just let them go on their own. Good luck. Stick to your insistence. It is NOT unreasonable to expect your son to earn at least C grades in his classes. If he wants to go hunting, he can gut it out and put it in gear.
It is my opinion that there is little more determinative of the life that our children will live than the education we provide to them -- first in grade/high school and later in college. We do not do them good service to allow them to take it easy in the early grades or in high school -- when frankly the school work is easier anyway than in college or in the work world. It doesn't get easier, it gets HARDER. You better start right now with you son taking care of his academics or you'll never turn the corner. That's my opinion.
Now, it may be helpful to work with your son when he has problems. Look at his academic work and see what the hang-up is. If you don't understand the subject, schedule an appointment with his teacher and the three of you -- your son, the teacher, and you -- talk through the difficulties. With my own children -- three of them -- generally what I discovered was they were not putting in a quality effort, for one reason or another, when their grades dipped downwards. They delayed working on a project or doing their lessons too long. They studied while distracted by (1) television, (2) phone text messages, or (3) other distractions and hence did not spend quality time on studying. They didn't turn homework in. They didn't exercise the self-discipline to remember they had a test so they didn't study for it (perhaps because they were focusing on something unrelated to school). All of these contributed to their underperforming for their abilities. By riding herd on them -- watching them closely, intervening when grades dipped down -- they did much better than if I just let them go on their own. Good luck. Stick to your insistence. It is NOT unreasonable to expect your son to earn at least C grades in his classes. If he wants to go hunting, he can gut it out and put it in gear.
09-01-2009, 11:41 AM
#57
Nontypical Buck
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Ohio,mid
Posts: 1,275
Alsatian, I go w/ that response 100%. My Dad whipped the _ ___ out of me for bad grades it did no good. Your son has defined himself already Ava. But do not drop your gaurd or your work ethic w/ him. if you do this you get this, if you don't do this you will get this. That is how life is run........... God Bless you!
Last edited by Buck Hunter 1; 09-01-2009 at 11:43 AM.
09-01-2009, 12:57 PM
#59
Fork Horn
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 235
Thanks guys. I told him the way it would be and he's doing his homework right now at the table. I'll be looking over it shortly.
I opened his IEP today and spoke with his hearing specialist and will be having things added in the next week. He seems optimistic which is good cuz he can be a pesimist. We'll see how it goes and I'll keep ya updated.
Thanks for all the constructive critisim, well wishes and input.
I opened his IEP today and spoke with his hearing specialist and will be having things added in the next week. He seems optimistic which is good cuz he can be a pesimist. We'll see how it goes and I'll keep ya updated.
Thanks for all the constructive critisim, well wishes and input.
