At least you're honest enough to admit that you can't tolerate the recoil of the larger cartridge. There are literally millions of shooters that are overgunned for their recoil tolerance and shoot badly because of it. Of those choices, I'd pick the .243 without hesitation and not look back. The .243 is a great little round. The recoil is very light, the trajectory is very flat, it's not too grossly overkill for varmints and predators, but will kill any deer alive without just as well as a cartridge that kicks twice as much. The ammo is also readily available and relatively inexpensive. The recoil is very mild and the report is not terribly load, making it pleasant to shoot. If you're interested in hunting deer, you could do far worse than the .243 Win. The most important thing is to learn basic marksmanship skills so that you can reliably hit what you're aiming at. If you can do your part, the .243 won't let you down.

Mike