ORIGINAL: burniegoeasily
ORIGINAL: burniegoeasily
I live in Texas where it’s legal to bait. When I hunt, I simply back my truck up with a bed full of corn and hit my cow caller. I’m too lazy to actually dump the corn out of the truck, but it don’t matter, the deer come so fast they fight to get in the back of my truck.Once the dinner bell has been rung, I carefully walk outwith a tape measure and start measuring racks. Key is to be careful, you don’t want to get trampled in the stampede. Ifthe deerare not big enough, I ring the dinner bell a second time. Which has never really happened, because once the corn shows up, the biggest deer in the county come running to my truck. But I keep the idea of calling a second time in the back of my mind just in case my first attempt doesn’t bring out all the Pope and Young’s. If you do ever have to call a second time, watch out, you don’t want to be stomped to death. I am an old salt when it comes to hunting, so I have developed the patience of Job. I’ll give each hunt a full 10 min. until I call it quits. Hell, you don’t think I’m going to stay out all day and hunt. But it really don’t matter, because it has never taken me more than a min. or two to get the deer I want. Once I pick out my deer, I put a collar on him, walk him to my truck, which in its self is a chore. Just imagine, I might have to walk a total of 5 ft. I’m only human. Once I walk my prize to my truck, I take a nap. It wears me out walking that much, so a two hour nap is a must. Once I wake from my nap, I down a case of beer and eat three pound cakes to prepare for the long journey back to the back of my truck. After my snack, I jump out of my truck and fight the deer off so I can get my bow out and shot my prize. I usually keep the shot challenging so I step back a half a foot before I shoot my deer. After my deer is dead, I take a chain saw and cut off the rack and leave the rest of the body. Why keep the deer, I’m beat from hunting all 10 min. You cannot expect me to actually do much more. I then load up the rack and my bow and take another nap. After that nap, I drink a quart of whiskey and eat three cases of Twinkies and head home. When I get home I kick the cat, have more beer and go to bed.
What a crock of crap. Burnie, you are an unethical S.O.B.. Here is how I do it. I refuse to even drive to my hunting grounds. I walk the 75 miles to get there. I do not take any weapons, and simple wear a loin cloth and that is it. When I get to the land, I use my mystic, hunting powers that were obtained after 60 years of transiently meditation while living with Boudist monks. I start my hunt by taking off my loin cloth, so Ill be totally naked. Got to keep it fair, so I can’t have any kinds of cloths. Once I’m butt naked, I slither through the CRP grass like a snake. I will slither around for days and days with no sleep. Once I’ve spotted the deer I want, mind you it takes months of slithering to find him, I will take another month getting in position to take the deer. After a month of stalking the deer, I will set up for the kill. I slither up on the back of the deer and stare it down with a Jedi mind trick. Usually my essences will simply kill the deer out of shear fear, so I usually need not do more. But if I do, I chew on its neck until it dies. After that, I skin and clean the deer. I even butch it in the field with my bare hands and teeth. Again, I want to keep it fair, so all I got to work with is what God gave me. After I get the deer all butchered, I use the bones to make a basket to carry my meat home. This all takes about 6 months. Once this is all complete, I put back on my loin cloth and start walking home.