Brian....

please understand that your heartfelt prayers for me and my family mean a great deal to us, during this trying times we are going through.

also i have never been a church goer for the most part but throught alll my illnesses in the last 5 months i have been seriously rethinking my old position and am working on setting things in the order they need to be in with the man upstairs.

because i do believe in him and i trust in my heart that if theres ever to be a real chance for me to pull through this its going to take a miracle and in order for that happen thats when my faith in god is needed the most.

also...if it really is to be my time to go, i want to be on the best of terms with him so i can be assured a spot in heaven so i can be with my first born son that i lost to a unfortunate accident at nearly the same agethatjustin is now (6) some 20 years ago.

i believe in my heart that god did not pull me through what he has in the last year to just take me away now, a year ago i was 440 pounds and near death and after seeing a dietiction for 4 months and having since worked my butt off as of now i am 145 pounds lighter then i was august a year ago, during that time i suffered a heart attack that left a smallportion of my heart deadand then i had a massive stroke this past august which i was back to my old self with no side effects in a mere' 36 hours and have delt with constant re-occouring blood clot issues since june of this year.

to say the least i have been through quite an ordeal so far and i believe in my heart of hearts that between my faith in god, my strong will to live for myself and my family and my always having been a determined person to never be kept down that i can beat this...besidesafter all i been through and done so well, how can i not believe god does not a greater plan for me in the years to come

again...thank you for your heartfelt concerns and prayers they are both very much appreciated