ORIGINAL: bighorn11
That told me a lot of what I wanted to know. I thought the only difference was the caliber. Why wood a larger caliber equal more recoil? Doesn't the powder, weight of gun, etc....... determine "kick", instead of bullet size?
"Every action has an equal and opposite reaction"
Based upon this law, and applied to your question, if you put two identical rifles (same model, same sights, etc.), the recoil question boils down to the fact that the heavier the bullet that is pushed down the barrel, the more recoil will be generated going the other direction.
While the .243, the .260, and the 7mm-08 all owe their lineage (all are just necked-down) to the .308, pushing a 100 grain .243 caliber bullet will create less recoil than pushing a 150 grain .308 caliber bullet. Those two bullet weights seem to be the norm for deer-sized game. Now, will the felt recoil be that noticeable? That depends on the shooter. The lighter the shooter's frame, the more likely the recoil WILL be noticeable.
Some mitigating factors:
A rifle that weighs more "soaks up" more recoil. Of course, it's also heavier to carry to the field.
A number of fine recoil-reducing pads are available aftermarket.
Yours is actually a very common dilemma. My wife is perfectly comfortable shooting a .243, which my mother alsoused for years to kill deer and speedgoats with one shot. Moving her up to a .308? I'm not going to mess with success after getting her this far.