Here is a little story that fits this debate and you might find interesting:
2007 was my son's first year to get to hunt deer (age 9 at the time). 2 days before the hunt, he was in my truck and broke down crying, saying he didn't want to disappoint me but didn't think he would be able to actually kill a deer. Hmmm...after a little bit of thought, I asked him if he would be willing to go along and be on the hunt, but yet if a deer was there and he decided he did not want to kill it, it would be no problemand plushe could just let his sister shoot it. I also explained to him that he would enjoy just going along, seeing some deer, and being with the other guys and his sister. So...he thought that sounded good.
Fast fwd two days. A doe is coming. He sees it. I ask if he wants to shoot, but already know the answer because he is breathing really hard and shaking. He says "yes", but the deer veers away. After it is gone, he asks me "why am I shaking and breathing so hard?" I do my best to explain to him he had "doe fever". Next morning, he smokes his first deer with a perfect shot. A little tentative on the recovery, even a little bit teary eyed, but most definitely proud of himself and his accomplishment. Wasn't long before he was asking about next year. Sure enough, next year he passed on a couple does and shot his first buck. No hesitation, no tentativeness on the recovery. A true hunter no doubt.
I think Zac's innocence and first hand experience of killing that first deer is a true picture of most hunters. Indeed, the epitomy of the "hunter's paradox", and Zac said it best later when he said, "Dad...it is really weird that I felt so excited and happyabout shooting that doe, but sad at the same time." And, like all of us, without trying, he just "knew" what was right inside himself when it was time for the second kill.
You can see Zac's first hunt at this link if you like:
http://www.aimlowproductions.com/images/video_gallery/Zac's%201st%20Deer.wmv