RE: awful article
Seeing as how you joined, uhh, today, you might want to be a bit respectful as there are many here who have volumes to offer. If you have a question, just ask, many here are more than willing to help the genuine and grateful. The bull in a china shop on day one might not be the best approach.
If you need help with 80% of the things you mentioned above. A great resource is the Eason Tuning Guide. It a PDF and is free for the download. I am no expert, however that guide has helped me tons.
Happy Hunting!