No point in second guessing yourself but yes analyze the situation. You knew that this wasn't going to be easy. You got prepared for everything and thats why you backed off and are doing the right thing. I would feel as horrible as you are feeling right now but you know as well as I do, this is called hunting not killing. Buddy came up with a good idea but you need help and you also have to put someone in charge and listen to him. You need an organized search.