Hey Mobo, I don't want you to feel like I am prying, but I just feel led to try and help. I studies alot about Pschycology, and honestly feel that have all the classic symptoms of a disorder known as " Mathews Envy". It is treatable and very easy to conquer. If you will allow me, please send me your address and I will get you the name of the nearest clinic ( aka Mathews dealer) to you, and you can get treatment. Usually all it takes is for you to take 1 to 2 shots..... from a Switcback XT and you will be totally cured!!