I am not sure there can be much done about the trigger, thats DAO. The magazines will loosen up over time, everything is a little stiff when it is new, it needs just some breaking in is all. I know that you can get some metal lined mags for the Glocks, not sure if they are available for the XD or not, but that would be a good option for making it a little smoother with the mags. As far as it kicking a ton, that is the reason I don't like the 40. Its not that its a lot of recoil per se, its just a sharper recoil then say the 45 ACP.
HDW- I just saw an ad in American Hunter for the XD 45 ACP, I think I am in love, oh booooyyyyy.

I have been waiting for this day since those things came out. I do like my 45 1911, but I really like my friends XD, and will surely end up with that 45 in the near future. Heck, it may even become my main duty gun