I feel your pain bud,, lost my dad when I was 18 and he was 50. There's so much I didn't get to say to him and sure wish at times I could turn to ask his advice. There's a better place whenwe go,a reaction tomorphine coming out of surgery after my tractor accident put me "in the light". Heart and lungs shut down and they had to shock and bag me while an anti-morphine shot worked on me, the most peaceful sleep I've ever had.
Your mother was proud of you and you'll continue until you meet her again