You have mentioned the .223 as a deer round but NO one has said a word about the 22-250 Rem.
To me a .22 cal is no deer rifle but they do work.I have used the 22-250 with great results on deer/antelope with the 55 grain TBBC.

There are also less recoil rifles out there the great .250 Savage and .257 Roberts are great kids guns,look into them.
I take 3 young ladies hunting every year since they could hunt,and they have shot everything from .243 to 30-06 with no complaints.One now shoots a Savage 270,another my Ruger 25-06 and the other loves my old savage 99 250-3000.
If you must step down from the 30-30 look to the 22-250 in a must hunt situation.
BBJ