Ultradog MN

What the OP did not and probably can not tell us is to what extent their friendship intertwines with other aspects of their lives.
Maybe they work together, bowl on the same team, restore motorcycles together. Coach Little League, go to games, play golf or chase skirts together. We only know about the unfairness his friend has shown in the hunting aspect of their lives.
Friendships are not always easy.
My own hunting buddy has always been stingy.
I own the land. Pay the taxes, own the camper we use, even pay the electric power we use.
He will usually cough up the $ if I ask him to buy a tank of propane but he won't do it unless I ask. He is Not a generous man and I have always spent more than he to go hunting with him.
And yet, tomorrow when we go up for the opener it will begin our 21st year of deer hunting together.
Some here may ask, "Why put up with the stingy SOB? Kick him out!"
I put up with his ways because I Like the man.
Every year we have a great time hunting.
We have a lot of fun stories to share of missed shots or great shots made or him gutting my deer when I was on crutches, or his forgetting his blaze orange at home. Or when he slipped and fell face first into the gut pile...
I hunt with him because I trust him absolutely when we are afield. That is hard to find.
Because though I have several friends, he's the only hunter amongst them.
Mostly though I still hunt with him because I've learned that it's better to have an imperfect friend than a perfect enemy. And hasty, hot headed rejections of someone are a good way to make an enemy.
Go ahead and criticize me for these thoughts. Call me a patsy.
Tell me my friend is just using me. That I'm a fool or weak, or worse...
I just know that often it takes strength and patience to be a friend.
And a friend is worth much more than money, or the best stand, or having to wait for a twofer on the turkeys - which Would have made a good story to tell.

Bocajnala

Ultra makes a good point.

And there are sometimes concessions that have to be made for a relationship that we care about having.

I didn't see any sign of that type of relationship in the OPs post.

There was no "I really want this to work out" tone to it.

-Jake

rockport

You should always listen to the other side of the story (perspective) with an open mind. You never know when your are doing stupid things yourself and not realizing it.

A good example is sometimes it only takes one thing that annoys us and we start getting really annoyed with everything somebody does but really its just that one thing and it just keeps building because we never addressed that one thing.

Like for example he keeps a stand you think he shouldn't have and next thing you know your mad because he wants to try to get a double while turkey hunting.

Obviously the picture you have painted here makes your friend look to be in the wrong and he probably is but it is wise IMO to hear the other perspective with an open mind, sit on it for a day or so then make a rational decision.

Cub Slayer

Rockport, the original post does not sound like the writings of someone who made a spur of the moment decision. It sounds like this has been going on for a while, he's had plenty of time to think about it, and has finally (more or less) made up his mind and is simply boiling over about it on this forum.

Nobody doubts the wisdom of having an open mind in such situations, but I suspect he's already been through that stage many times. There's a point at which "being open-minded and reasonable" evolves into "being a sucker who puts up with abuse indefinitely".

rockport

I get the sense that the op just quietly let it build and build and come to a head. All I'm suggesting is bring it all up and listen to the other perspective before making a decision and I'll add he probably should have done that a long time ago.

I'm far from suggesting being "a sucker who puts up with abuse indefinitely". I simply think that for yourself you should always listen to the other side, think on it for a day or so, then make the call with no regrets knowing that you did your part.

Its not completely about who the other guy is or for him, its about who you are and how you do things.....Then if you feel the same kick his butt straight to the curb with no regrets. If nothing else its good practice for not letting things go there in the future and learning how to deal with conflict soon and rationally next time.

Also the original post is only giving you one perspective and I don't know about you but Ive been around the block enough times to know how that can be extremely misleading.

Ive been on the other side of that.

Cub Slayer

It can be misleading to us, receiving it all second hand, but not for the OP. The common "listen to what the other person has to say" is IMHO overrated. Most people tell you more about them through their actions than their words. The OP has plenty of information based on the other person's actions. It has also been well pointed out that since the OP owns the land, burden of persuasion lies entirely with the other party. In other words, the OP doesn't have the burden of being fair or reasonable - the other person does. Failure to meet that burden is more than sufficient for the OP to dispatch his "friend".

rockport

Whatever works for you but like I said I wouldn't do that for him, I'd do it for me. Self evaluation is almost non existent in this country today so I'm not surprised if most disagree.

I learned this coaching select youth athletes. You must be able to self evaluate, hear conflicting perspectives, and take the time to make sure you are right before making final decisions and its worked very well for me and trust me I'm not soft. It makes you rational not soft.

Its not about who this guy is and what he has done, its about who I am and how I do things.

huntingva0004

This is a good point. I am not sure what it finally was that I got annoyed with, I don't think it was the stand. you are correct that everything now would just annoy me because I am already fed up. With that being said I think I should just stick with hunting without. I have put to much time into it to not have a good time

Cub Slayer

HuntingVA, you don't owe him or anybody else a reason for deciding not to hunt with him anymore. Ok, so perhaps you've been browbeaten so much that you've taken an irrational view of everything he now does. I say "so what?" He earned this perspective - it is not your duty to give him second-chances until the crack of doom. Nor is it an indicator that you've been "damaged" by this incident.

Erno86

Dump him....

Though I wouldn't want to argue with him face to face if he is toting a weapon of some sort.

Some hunters can get awfully greedy...like wanting to have the best hunting spot all of the time, to a point where it gets to be a fixation with them. Then they'll claim it as their own territory, even though they don't even own it, and consider it as an affront if you trespass into "their" hunting honey hole.