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Lizard Hunt..long read but you dont want to work anyway.

Old 09-29-2008, 09:36 AM
Fork Horn
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Florida
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Default Lizard Hunt..long read but you dont want to work anyway.

Well I went and applied for some lizard tags for the season and only used one of them. My wife is in study for her masters in school and told me she does not want me around the house bugging her because she has work to do. “Well honey what do you want me to do?” “I don’t care just don’t bother me.” WOOHOO I am going to do some lizard shootin.

Good ole Keith’s place was on the agenda and I arrived at 4:00 p.m. to the smells of pheasant, sweet corn, and biscuits in the oven. JOY!!!! We sat around after eating and decided to go to the lake about an hour before sunset to try to scope out a lizard. Keith and Eric had already shot two hogs earlier in the day and we removed the lungs for gator bait. Well as some of you know this is my first year trying to tag a gator and I was successful last trip with a nice little 7-foot model. We were told that the big ones wont come out till midnight but we had high hopes.

We cruised to the middle of the lake where we had success in finding a gator or two and started the search. NOTHING at all during the day. Not even little bitty ones. The sun sets and the living hell began.

The night brought out a bug hatch that I have never seen before in my life and hope I never do again. Thank GOD they were not biting insects but some type of crazy white and grey fly. The only problem is that they are attracted to light. The little pricks were so thick you could not see the light through them. They were blinding me and every time I would take a breath I would breathe them in so that it felt like I was eating pop rocks in the back of my throat from their death throws. When we would drive it felt like we were in a rainstorm with bugs pelting our faces. The deck was covered in a thick layer of bug slime from us stomping them. I mean I cannot really tell you how bad it was unless you were there. Absolutely unreal, but, there was a ray of hope.

When we would leave the hydrilla mats the bugs would vanish (sort of).

Needless to say we tried to avoid the hydrilla but it is kind of hard since the lake is full of it. It was a dark moon so the gators/lizards were not supposed to be as skittish as when we hunted them in the full moon. UUMMM… Man once again were creepin, sneakin, crawlin, and slidin up to every set of eyes we could spotlight. BUGS!!!! The only problem was that now they were submerging at around 50 to 80 yards away. We could not even get a positive I.D. on the size of any of them because they would submerge so soon. It was hard going. We did manage to get close enough to I.D. a very nice gator but he kept doing the sink and swim gimmick on us and we worked him for over an hour. He got away.

It was late as hell now and I was just worn out from trying to deal with the bugs and frustrated from the gators sinking and I told Eric “the next gator I see I am gonna stick him, I don’t care if he is 2 feet long”. We had worked to the other side of the lake and were working our way home anyway. We were cruising beside some of the most beautiful cypress forest you have ever seen when Eric says he sees one out in the middle of the lake.

Ok as some know the bigger ones wander into the middle of the lake as it gets late. We start to slide up on him and I take notice that this gator seems pretty good in size. I also notice that for some reason this gator does not seem inclined to sleep beneath the muddy water. We are using the trolling motor to remain as silent as possible and this gator does not seem to mind. We get closer and I have Eric AND Keith whispering something like shoot, shoot, and shoot, for the love of God SHOOT! I still waited. We got to where I felt like I was close enough, drew back, and touched the release.

Solid whap right behind his head exactly where I wanted it to land. In the confusion I almost thought I missed till I saw the line start whipping out of the five-gallon bucket the line ended and my little yellow float barrel jumped from the rack like I was shooting a Jaws sequel. Pandemonium ensues with everyone talking real loud and giving orders that no one else is following or listening to. I start to get another arrow ready and Keith is calling for a harpoon while Eric is trying to turn the lights up on the boat so we can follow the buoy better. The bucket with the spare arrows got knocked over and everything is tangled and Keith is now swinging a 10-foot pole with a pointy end. WHAT FUN!!!

Ok we all take a moment and breath and start to get ourselves prepped. Harpoon is made ready and I get an arrow ready with the line fixed. Eric is driven up to the buoy and gets hold of it and starts to pull Mr. Lizard to the surface. He gently tugs him up, I draw back and the arrow falls off my string. The gator then does his impression of a gaffed marlin and try’s to rip Erics hands off with the line as he hauls ass away. Sploosh away goes the jug and we start to follow. I re rig and we pull him up again. I draw back and the arrow falls off the string AGAIN. We found out later that when the bucket got kicked over it damaged my knock. So we abandon the stick and string and go to the harpoon. Keith tells me that I have to stick the gator as hard as I can to get the point through the hide. I am so pumped full of adrenaline at this time I am seeing spots and I am going to stick this lizard as hard as Captain Ahab when he gets his chance at the White Whale. The gator surfaces and I lunge.

I hit him so hard that I poll vaulted in the air and almost went in the water with him. I thought that this might be a bad idea since he was trying to chew the **** out of anything he could get his teeth into and I did an interesting gymnastic maneuver. I twisted in mid air and landed on my ass hitting the little mettle pole that holds the bass seat in place square on my tailbone. Adrenalin kept me from really feeling it till the next day. So once again I get to home to my wife and explain why I am walking funny and my ass hurts after another weekend with the guys.

After that we got him boat side and Keith put a perfect bang stick hit right in his spine. Got the jaws tapped shut and pulled him in the boat and drove home getting there at 5:00 a.m. which is only 2 hours till the feeders go off.

I must have been out of my mind but I had hog on my brain and what the hack. After a refreshing 25-minute nap I slipped out of the house and looked at my bow. I was to damned tired to try tracking a pig so I cheated and got my 22 mag out of the case. I drove down to his south feeder 10 minutes before 7. I had to walk around on the trail away from the feeder because the skeeters were tearing me my third a-hole (the second was from a metal pole). I heard the feeder go off and waited two minutes to go see how many hogs came in. I was disappointed to only see two but what the heck beggars are not choosers. I snuck up to about 35 yards and planted a round in between the 88 pound boar hogs eye and ear. The little shoat that was feeding with him ran about 8 feet and turned around to see what happened to daddy. You almost have to wonder what they are thinking but he did not think long. His brain seems to have exited out the other side of his head. I drive the Polaris up and put the bacon in the back. But wait…the north feeder only went off five minutes ago.

I arrive at the north feeder and see some hogs happily chewing on maize. I start my stalk while watching deer, ducks, and a turkey splashing around the pond. As I get closer to the feeder I hear a grunt beside me that seems close. I stop thinking I would let this pig go the feeder ahead of me then I would take care of business there. I went down on one knee and waited all the while hearing this hog grunt and get closer, closer, and closer. He came out of the bush right beside me at a distance of maybe 11 INCHES! He was just past me and staring at the feeder. He was so close I could not pull my rifle back far enough to shoot him. Just to be a wise ass I let off a little grunt and he turned to see who was addressing him. We sat there so close I could smell his breath and then I said “your move now”. Needless to say he got the hell out of dodge with tail held high but not before he snorted and blew pig snot on my face. He was that close. I decided that I could not take another adrenaline hit in the next 24-hour period or I might have a myocardial infarction. I went to the barn to start peeling some porkers.

I was so tired after all the cleaning and packing away that I was a bit delirious. I was shaking hands with the guys when Eric looks to the right and says to Keith and I…”what is that in the millet field?” Keith says it is his planter but Eric says “NO…that?” Oh Jeezus Loweezus there are hogs in the field. Keith grabs his 22-250 and says lets go get em. I said “NOPE…going home”. I got in my truck and drove away while they stalked the millet field.

The phone rang 20 minutes later with Keith telling me to come help peel some more pigs. I hung up, went, crashed like a ton of bricks. Sore as hell now.

And for those that want to tell me that gators are not lizards…
Kingdom: AnimaliaPhylum: ChordataClass: ReptiliaOrder: CrocodyliaFamily: AlligatoridaeGenus: AlligatorSpecies: mississippiensis

Got it.

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Old 09-29-2008, 02:15 PM
Nontypical Buck
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: north florida
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Default RE: Lizard Hunt..long read but you dont want to work anyway.

Nice storyI am regretting not applying for a gator tag myself this year.
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