Hybrid Coyote Discovered
01-31-2010, 11:26 PM
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Nontypical Buck
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Heaven IA USA
Posts: 2,597
Hybrid Coyote Discovered
(Routers) Panic struck the country today as disturbing photographic evidence surfaced uncovering terrifying confirmation that there is indeed a genus of coyote that, depending on one’s point of view, is not only highly intelligent, but downright dangerous.
Rumors have been circulating across the United States since fall that there were sightings of “werewolf like” behavior in the Eastern coyote. There is speculation that the P.E.T.A. (Peoples Ethical Treatment of Animals) organization and a branch of the Humane Society are somehow involved in the development of this canine. It is alleged that strands of DNA from humans were “braided” with those of the eastern species of coyote causing an unusual reaction in the behavior of the animal.
While the animal rights groups have cheered the results of the DNA experiment sportsmen have been less than enthusiastic about the outcome. The beast it seems displays remarkable anthropomorphic abilities.
Animal rights groups are excited about the human like characteristics of the “Hoy-dog” (human/coyote). The head of the Midwest chapter of E.A.H.F. (End All Hunting Forever), Dolly Dogooder told this reporter that the hoy-dog should be saved at all cost. She further stated that regardless of the tendency of the canine to be a ruthless killer, at the end of the day it is a living creature, fuzzy and warm, kind of like a teddy bear only with fangs and claws. EAHF has since filed litigation claiming the hoy-dog to be an endangered species.
Animal rights activist Bambi Hugger whose husband was grievously wounded by one of the hoy-dogs in a bar room brawl during a card game also supports the saving of the dog like creatures by any means. Bambi says, “I don’t care how ill tempered these hoy-dogs are, they need to be preserved regardless of circumstances and lost lives, besides my no good husband probably started that fight anyway!”
On the other side of the fence are hunters who feel because the canine has taken on human tendencies due to the alleged PETA experiment, it has “dumbed down” the eastern coyote. They feel like the hoy-dog has taken on the worst characteristics of man and lost most of the keen senses of the eastern coyote. Apparently the hoy-dog has developed an odd propensity for pizza, alcohol, gambling, and guns.
Although exceedingly dangerous it is a far cry from the stealthy lean crafty creature it once was. According to local hunter Shooter Stevens it isn’t much of a challenge to locate one. “It used to be it took all of one’s finest skills to call in and kill a coyote. You had to bring your “A” game just to see one. Not any more. All you have to do is deliver a pizza and a six pack to the nearest timber and they will show up in droves. In fact you are as likely to find them in a bar as in the woods. Interesting thing is they no longer bark and howl now they belch and growl.”
Fellow sportsman BobbyBenelli had a close call with a hoy-dog. According to his account he was spared only when the beast’s gun jammed and it was slow to reload. (Evidently it dropped the cartridges in the snow and was having trouble picking them up.) Mr. Benelli says “If you are going after them you had better be armed. Sometimes just one will show up and other times they will hunt in a pack. They are opportunists who will shoot you in the back at the drop of a hat, all the while with a snarling smile on their face. People here are afraid they might try to take over the town! If you ask me we are the endangered species not the hoy-dog!”
The above photo was taken off of the surveillance camera in a local bar.
Hoy-dog taking aim with a rifle
Hoy-dog with a victim
Hoy-dogs hunting in a pack
A hunter becomes the hunted
What will become of these hoy-dogs? No one knows for sure. Litigation concerning their survival could be in the courts for years.
Rumors have been circulating across the United States since fall that there were sightings of “werewolf like” behavior in the Eastern coyote. There is speculation that the P.E.T.A. (Peoples Ethical Treatment of Animals) organization and a branch of the Humane Society are somehow involved in the development of this canine. It is alleged that strands of DNA from humans were “braided” with those of the eastern species of coyote causing an unusual reaction in the behavior of the animal.
While the animal rights groups have cheered the results of the DNA experiment sportsmen have been less than enthusiastic about the outcome. The beast it seems displays remarkable anthropomorphic abilities.
Animal rights groups are excited about the human like characteristics of the “Hoy-dog” (human/coyote). The head of the Midwest chapter of E.A.H.F. (End All Hunting Forever), Dolly Dogooder told this reporter that the hoy-dog should be saved at all cost. She further stated that regardless of the tendency of the canine to be a ruthless killer, at the end of the day it is a living creature, fuzzy and warm, kind of like a teddy bear only with fangs and claws. EAHF has since filed litigation claiming the hoy-dog to be an endangered species.
Animal rights activist Bambi Hugger whose husband was grievously wounded by one of the hoy-dogs in a bar room brawl during a card game also supports the saving of the dog like creatures by any means. Bambi says, “I don’t care how ill tempered these hoy-dogs are, they need to be preserved regardless of circumstances and lost lives, besides my no good husband probably started that fight anyway!”
On the other side of the fence are hunters who feel because the canine has taken on human tendencies due to the alleged PETA experiment, it has “dumbed down” the eastern coyote. They feel like the hoy-dog has taken on the worst characteristics of man and lost most of the keen senses of the eastern coyote. Apparently the hoy-dog has developed an odd propensity for pizza, alcohol, gambling, and guns.
Although exceedingly dangerous it is a far cry from the stealthy lean crafty creature it once was. According to local hunter Shooter Stevens it isn’t much of a challenge to locate one. “It used to be it took all of one’s finest skills to call in and kill a coyote. You had to bring your “A” game just to see one. Not any more. All you have to do is deliver a pizza and a six pack to the nearest timber and they will show up in droves. In fact you are as likely to find them in a bar as in the woods. Interesting thing is they no longer bark and howl now they belch and growl.”
Fellow sportsman BobbyBenelli had a close call with a hoy-dog. According to his account he was spared only when the beast’s gun jammed and it was slow to reload. (Evidently it dropped the cartridges in the snow and was having trouble picking them up.) Mr. Benelli says “If you are going after them you had better be armed. Sometimes just one will show up and other times they will hunt in a pack. They are opportunists who will shoot you in the back at the drop of a hat, all the while with a snarling smile on their face. People here are afraid they might try to take over the town! If you ask me we are the endangered species not the hoy-dog!”
The above photo was taken off of the surveillance camera in a local bar.
Hoy-dog taking aim with a rifle
Hoy-dog with a victim
Hoy-dogs hunting in a pack
A hunter becomes the hunted
What will become of these hoy-dogs? No one knows for sure. Litigation concerning their survival could be in the courts for years.
