HEY BATTA BATTA SAWIINGGG BATTA,,,,,,,,,,,,,CAINT HIT, CAINT HIT SAWIING BATTA!!!

Well there we were once again for a pig (or deer) fiesta. I took David and John (charts please) and we went up to the lease. I was supposed to meet Kolin and Kade from some Godforsaken freezing place to get them on some pigs but they went to Disney (land of Mickey the Rat) the day before. Never to be outdone and showing some true zeal he texted me and we met up that afternoon but more on that later. We left at an hour that left us time to sleep in (1:30 a.m.) because I am a freak about getting in the stand at least an hour before shooting light. We got dressed in a fog you would not believe.

The fog was so thick you could sometimes only barely see 20 yards in front of you with a Q beam. In the dark it was something in between the horror movie (the fog), the worst disco (yes I am old) you have ever been to, and swimming in a muddy river. I sent David and dad to the Oaks and I went swamp stand. BAD CHOICE! The fog was like rain and at 7:30 I STILL could not see the feeder from 19 yards 8 inches away. I am sitting enjoying the steady drizzle from the trees over me and I hear OINK. I have a scrumptious 60 to 80ish piece of pork saunter in without a care in the world. Well I was going to give him a care, or at least until his brains exited the left side of his head kinda care. He came to the corn like he had a magnet on his snoot and I got ready to drill him. The only problem was that my eyepiece kept FILLING WITH WATER!!! I mean every time I aimed it would get a pool and I could not get sighted in. The ends of the lenses were fogged and I kept trying to dry the lenses with my sopping wet gloves. You get the idea. To make matters worse have you ever seen a happy pig eat? They keep bouncing their head up and down. After about 10 minutes of frustration I am settled down and put the crosshairs on his wittle pointy skull. I squeeze and right when I shoot he drops his head. The bullet travels over his skull and he freezes with the look of “ok, that was bad, where did it come from” type of look. I tried to load another round but the click of the lever and he was gone. I got out of the stand and sauntered around the roads but did not see even a sparrow due to the fog. I was walking to the truck and their was David and John. I started to speak and looked down the road at the end of the road feeder.

PIG!!! A nice 70ish pound model all in black. I hunker down to get David (he has yet to get a hog) and start dragging him with me. I hand him my 06 and we begin the 700 yard stalk. We kept the roadside bushes in front of us and slowly managed our way to the hog. I asked David if he felt comfortable about lying prone and shooting the hog since it would make his gun more stable. The thing you have to know about David is that his father started him out bow hunting. He figured that bow hunting would be easier and then he could move up to guns and be ready. Ummmm……yea….right. So the kid is not real good with a gun yet but he has a 22 now and it will come. I am standing there watching him try to steady the gun and it is jumping like me after a 36oz espresso and a Cuban cigar. I mean the shakes folks. I suggest that I lay down in the road and he use my slim runway model body as a gun rest. I do so and begin to hold my breath. GGAAASSSSPPPP…after like close to three minutes he still has not fired. He says to me “stop breathing” where I tell him “oxygen is still necessary”. He takes the shot and a clean miss. His excuse is that I was breathing. Sheesh. We go back to the truck and I find that they had hogs come in but could not see to shoot. Then the phone rings and Kolin has made it to town.

We go meet Kollin and Cade (K, C) not sure? They had to sleep in because anyone who knows the terrible tole that Mickey the Rat takes on kids will understand. I met them at the Subs and More and we went to try Kade on some 22 mag practice. He dotted the O on the Coke can so I knew he could take the piggie in between the eye and the ear. This kid was READY to kill something. We went to my area and sent them to the ground blind with explicit directions to come out after dark. This will mean something later. I went road and David and John went Oaks again. I saw zippo and ambled back to the truck. When I arrived all parties were present and John and David had seen nothing. They heard pigs; Kollin and Kade did not see anything but they left the ground blind about 10 minutes before last light. They could not see anything through their scope but I had my Trijicon. I slunk down the road and sure as poop there they were. About 20 to 30 hogs in the 30 to 120ish pound range. It took me a while to wait for one to break from the pack so I could line it up and I pulled the trigger. The mighty Thunder Chicken spoke and I heard the pork squeal. I look through the scope and it is laying there. With a smile I stroke my Trijicon (sounds kinda dirty huh) and start to my pig. It jumps up and and hauls bacon. We never found it. I think I got a meat hit. So there you have it. We took three swings at the pigs and came up with zippo. Struck out as it were hence the first few lines.

Good luck all in 09.

And the obligatory photo

Sorry to hear about the strikeout..... here's a bit of advice for next time! 1) Stop taking head shots and shoot the *&$^ thing right where the shoulder stops.If you hit it right you'll take out the heart. If you don'tyou'll blow itsfront legs out and get another shot. 2) Next time take the kid to the range and get him comfortable shooting a rifle. Use your pack, log, rock or other steady object instead of your runway type body! 3) Pigs are tough. Give it some time to bleed out before you run up stroking your Trijicon!