kodiak41226

I have a little situation here. Last year in deer camp a friend invited myself and another friend to hunt his private land up North. All year long we have been planning for this and now its a week and a half away. The two of us have a mutual friend that since September keeps asking when camp is. We have both been telling him that we're too busy at work to go to camp this year. This third party guy is a really good friend of both of ours, but we don't really want him to go to camp because he's kind of a handful. He rarely hunts while in camp, refuses to climb a tree, requires to be waited on, drinks a lot, is messy, and never brings enough money to support himself. The problem is that my friend and I are going to disappear next week and the third party guy is going to know something is up. When he finds out where we went and didn't ask him to go; Words will not be able to describe how pissed he is going to be. You would think it would be as easy as "you weren't invited" but there is an open invitation to any one we know. It has been a real challenge to not slip up and mistakenly blurt out "Can't wait till November, go'in up north", and I really feel bad about it but... what are going to do?

The only thing that I can think of is to call the guy the day or two before and ask him to go, knowing that he won't be able to because of work, and play the whole thing off as last minute.

What do you guys think?

dabowhunter

I would be truthful with him and explain why he was not invited. I had to do the same thing once and it pretty much ruined our friendship. Buy honesty is always best. Like it or not he will at least respect you for it.........dabow

TDH

Just tell him that a land owner asked for you and your other buddy to hunt on his land. The land owner only had two spots open and the one guy who is going with you was there when the land owner asked. This will save a friendship. If you do like this guy.

Katbones

[8D] Your in a pickle too be sure!
Bring him now since you initially tried to deceive him and you will still have your friend, if he matters to you?

paulywog

If I were you, first of all I would pray that your third party friend isn't logged into Bowhunter.com reading this post!

I would have to agree with honesty. If your not honest with your friend what kind of frienship do you actually have?

adams

I had a similar situation arise when I went on a backpacking trip to the grand canyon a few years ago. We had permits for 4 people and my friend who I hiked with a lot invited himself knowing that there was room. The problem was (as much as I like my friend) is he drink like a fish and is a major a$$H0!e when he drinks. After a couple of trips into the backcountry when he threw tempertantrums while drunk, I didn't want to spend a week in the bottom of the canyon listening to his $#!^. As the trip drew near he kept asking for details (after never being invited) and I felt I had no other option then to level with him. It sucked plain and simple. He was broken and couldn't see my point of view(because he was always drunk). I basically explained that this was a trip of a lifetime and I didn't want to spend it babysitting him.

He was pretty steamed but eventually got over it. I think he got over it because I wasn't the only one to point out to him he was out of control and no fun to be around when he was drunk (75% of the time).

Bottom line IMO if he's really a friend you need to level with him. He may not like it but he'll respect it more then if he catches you in a lie. Either way, don't expect it to be easy.

SW Iowa Hunter

I agree that you need to be honest. He may be upset with an honest approach but he will prob. be upset enough to ruin a friendship if he finds out you are not being honest with him. Never know it may cause him to change his habits and you may get a better hunting buddy out of it.

Bob H in NH

I think you already dug yourself a hole by not addressing it earlier, this guy might assume he is going where you go cause he does every year.

Be honest, deal with it when it happens, not later.

Rusty69

This is simple. Just tell the guy, He is not going. No need for explanations or excusses. Just tell him. It's just you and the ohter guy. Thats it.


If his feelings get hurt then he was not a true friend to begin with. He just wanted to mooch off of you and your buddy.

kodiak41226

Trust me I thought of that.

Anyhow, it gets better. The same guys that are going up North ask me to go down South, the week before we go up north. I actually asked the third party guy to go down South with the group, and he declined. That is great because it will be a great excuse for heading north. All I have to say now is "hey, while we were down South we decided to go up North and thats that.

Whew, that seemed to work out for now.