A Thanksgiving Tale
11-27-2003 | 08:10 AM
#1
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,146
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From: The socialist state of Massachusetts
A Thanksgiving Tale
Subject: A Thanksgiving Tale
When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop,
Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was something that I had to know;
His look and his tone I will always remember,
When he told me of the horrors of... Black November;
" Come about August, now listen to me,
Each day you' ll get six meals instead of just three,
And soon you' ll be thick, where once you were thin,
And you' ll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin;
And then one morning, when you' re warm in your bed,
In' ll burst the farmer' s wife, and hack off your head;
Then she' ll pluck out all your feathers so you' re bald ' n pink,
And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin' in the sink;
And then comes the worst part" , he said not bluffing,
" She' ll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing" !
Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat,
And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I' d have to lay low and remain overlooked;
I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola;
And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes;
I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;
But ' twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;
And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;
So now I' m a pet in the farmer' s wife' s lap;
I haven' t a worry, so I eat and I nap;
She held me today, while sewing and humming,
And smiled at me and said " Christmas is coming..."
One more thing to thank God for, he didn’t make you a turkey!
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
Clint
When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop,
Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was something that I had to know;
His look and his tone I will always remember,
When he told me of the horrors of... Black November;
" Come about August, now listen to me,
Each day you' ll get six meals instead of just three,
And soon you' ll be thick, where once you were thin,
And you' ll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin;
And then one morning, when you' re warm in your bed,
In' ll burst the farmer' s wife, and hack off your head;
Then she' ll pluck out all your feathers so you' re bald ' n pink,
And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin' in the sink;
And then comes the worst part" , he said not bluffing,
" She' ll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing" !
Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat,
And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I' d have to lay low and remain overlooked;
I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola;
And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes;
I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;
But ' twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;
And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;
So now I' m a pet in the farmer' s wife' s lap;
I haven' t a worry, so I eat and I nap;
She held me today, while sewing and humming,
And smiled at me and said " Christmas is coming..."
One more thing to thank God for, he didn’t make you a turkey!
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
Clint
11-27-2003 | 09:08 AM
#2
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 129
Likes: 0
From: Michigan (Whitetails & Muskies)
RE: A Thanksgiving Tale
Very good, very good.
I went out this morning( Thanksgiving) and forgot why I don' t normally get up to hunt this day. I had one hunter walk within 100 yds,and heard others. Then a guy walks within 10 yds of me without knowing I was there. I think he might have to change his drawers from me saying HI. No one at work today and all the one day a year hunters out there. At least they might kick somthing up my way. No such luck. Next year I' ll just sleep in.
I went out this morning( Thanksgiving) and forgot why I don' t normally get up to hunt this day. I had one hunter walk within 100 yds,and heard others. Then a guy walks within 10 yds of me without knowing I was there. I think he might have to change his drawers from me saying HI. No one at work today and all the one day a year hunters out there. At least they might kick somthing up my way. No such luck. Next year I' ll just sleep in.
