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Butt-Out Tool Review

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View Poll Results: Have you ever tried a Butt-Out Tool?
Yes, and it was great!
14
26.92%
Yes, and I suffered irreparable anus damage
3
5.77%
Yes, and it's still in there.
5
9.62%
No.
30
57.69%
Voters: 52. You may not vote on this poll

Butt-Out Tool Review

Old 07-20-2009, 10:38 AM
  #1  
Giant Nontypical
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This tool is horrible.

Last weekend, I was hunting chipmunks with King of the Mountain Outfitters in the West Virginia panhandle when the stars aligned, and I tagged-out on a Boone and Crockett caliber bull chipmunk. Well, the official scorers were on their way over with the outfitter, still 20-30 minutes away, giving me a few minutes to reflect on the hunt, have a sip of blood, and pay my respects to the expired beast. Never one to waste time,I decided to go ahead and field dress the chipmunk and give the Butt-Out a try. This is where things took a turn downhill.

This Butt-Out tool is supposed to help making field dressing easy, but that couldn't be any further from the truth. I stuck that thing up my ass, and bent down to try to start gutting that stinking chipmunk, and, being totally honest - that tool didn't help at all. In fact, all it did was make my whole ass-end feel sore and incredibly uncomfortable. Field dressing the chipmunk was no easier. I've gutted thousands of chipmunks, and never in my life have I felt so damn miserable and constipated just trying to finish up a routine field-dressing job.

To make matters worse, I'm pretty sure my tool was defective, because it wouldn't come out. It was really jammed. So, with six inches of PVC lodged firmly in my anus, I had to have the outfitter run me over to Michael Jackson Memorial Hospital for a surgical removal of the tool. I was a little bit embarrassed at first, but the doctor was kinda cute, so I didn't mind having him checking out my derriere.

I would not recommend this product.




B and C Chipmunk mount courtesy of Outdoor Immortals Taxidermy service
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Old 07-20-2009, 10:46 AM
  #2  
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Oh, that's funny!
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Old 07-20-2009, 11:52 AM
  #3  
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You were supposed to rotate it after you jammed it in. No wonder it didn't work right. On the bright side, you may eventually be able to sit down again some day.
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Old 07-20-2009, 11:54 AM
  #4  
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i needed that what a laugh thanks
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Old 07-20-2009, 12:48 PM
  #5  
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that was great. not gunna lie though,it took me a few seconds to relize it was a joke. too much sleep deprivation...
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Old 07-20-2009, 01:00 PM
  #6  
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LMAO. Made me laugh and cringe at the same time. That's a good one!
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Old 07-20-2009, 05:49 PM
  #7  
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Haha nice Fran
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Old 07-20-2009, 06:20 PM
  #8  
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Nice Fran. Do you have too much time on your hands?
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Old 07-20-2009, 08:04 PM
  #9  
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Nice post.
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Old 07-21-2009, 03:11 AM
  #10  
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even when used properly it's crap...........
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