High Fence - Real Life Scenario
08-06-2008, 11:12 AM
#51
Giant Nontypical
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Phoenixville, PA USA
Posts: 5,541
RE: High Fence - Real Life Scenario
ORIGINAL: GMMAT
BRy....the LAST thing I'm looking for here is an argument. Huntigson's first sentence didn't mesh (IMO) with the rest of his post. I just asked which part he was agreeing with. Rob's one I look to for advice in things like this...and he helped me make my decision, last year.
Especially when the answer to the question posed was already there but a post was made about it anyway for the sake of argument.
It just seems that you had some preconceived thoughts on this and every time an answer comes up that doesn't coincide with those thoughts a question to the contrary comes up.After reading everything through, I think Fran summed it up best. Go over it with your boy and let him make the decision. At worst he spends some time with dad and realizes that kind of hunt isn't for him. Win win.
08-06-2008, 11:15 AM
#52
Dominant Buck
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location:
Posts: 21,043
RE: High Fence - Real Life Scenario
Well then, I guess the question is: Are you helping to raise this kid or not??
I AM this kid's father/dad....and all it entails. I am his authority figure. His biological father is his buddy. Funny story....My mom says to him one night...."How's it going with you and Jeff"? He laughs and tells her I'm hard on him. Then he looks at her and says...."But I need that". (Father/Dad role is instantly validated in my eyes)
Choosing to go on this trip or not won't make either of us serial killers. We'll either go....have fun....or we won't and that'll be fine, too.
08-06-2008, 11:17 AM
#53
Dominant Buck
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location:
Posts: 21,043
RE: High Fence - Real Life Scenario
Argument is too strong a word, but "for the sake of debating every minute detail" just didn't sound right. It just seems that you had some preconceived thoughts on this and every time an answer comes up that doesn't coincide with those thoughts a question to the contrary comes up.
After reading everything through, I think Fran summed it up best. Go over it with your boy and let him make the decision. At worst he spends some time with dad and realizes that kind of hunt isn't for him. Win win.
It just seems that you had some preconceived thoughts on this and every time an answer comes up that doesn't coincide with those thoughts a question to the contrary comes up. After reading everything through, I think Fran summed it up best. Go over it with your boy and let him make the decision. At worst he spends some time with dad and realizes that kind of hunt isn't for him. Win win.
What I was trying to keep out of the conversation was people imposing their OWN thoughts (on the subject at hand....and how THEY, themselves, feel about it)into how HE should feel. It isn't about me/them. It just isn't. Like I said....nothing illegal going on.....nothing he's going to hell for.
That was all. I apreciate that last post a lot.
What I found through reading these in discussing it is that I'm not where I waswhen westarted. I appreciate everyone's responses. Thank you.
08-06-2008, 11:20 AM
#54
Nontypical Buck
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: SE Ohio
Posts: 2,531
RE: High Fence - Real Life Scenario
ORIGINAL: Lanse couche couche
To clarify, by a high bar in terms of expectations, I mean that if one takes a trophy buck very easily, then they may expect to do that every time in the future. When they don't they will be disappointed. Kind of like encouraging one's son to date by hiring a very hot, very expensive call girl for him. May be a great experience, but that means he may be less content with dating the plain Jane next door in the future.
To clarify, by a high bar in terms of expectations, I mean that if one takes a trophy buck very easily, then they may expect to do that every time in the future. When they don't they will be disappointed. Kind of like encouraging one's son to date by hiring a very hot, very expensive call girl for him. May be a great experience, but that means he may be less content with dating the plain Jane next door in the future.
Jeff,
You may find that as a teenager, he's not as thrilled with Archery and Hunting as we all are here, and that's ok, it's part of being a teenager. If he never really "gets into it," it's no discredit to yourself, just one of the unfortunate facts of life. I'm the only one in my family that hunts. Opportunities were put forth for both of my brothers, but they neither one ever took to them. My little bro kicks himself to this day for not, older bro could care less. I think maybe a "better" way to try to "Kick-start" him into is would be to take a day off work, and let him "hooky" a day of school, make it a Friday or a Monday, and go on a weekend hunt. Just my thoughts though....
And I don't even think it's about the HF as much as the "Setting of the Bar." But that certainly plays a little into it as well.
08-06-2008, 11:20 AM
#55
Giant Nontypical
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Heaven is my home, temporarily residing in WNY :)
Posts: 6,679
RE: High Fence - Real Life Scenario
ORIGINAL: GMMAT
Hillbilly. I won't be judged by you.
I AM this kid's father/dad....and all it entails. I am his authority figure. His biological father is his buddy. Funny story....My mom says to him one night...."How's it going with you and Jeff"? He laughs and tells her I'm hard on him. Then he looks at her and says...."But I need that". (Father/Dad role is instantly validated in my eyes)
Choosing to go on this trip or not won't make either of us serial killers. We'll either go....have fun....or we won't and that'll be fine, too.
Well then, I guess the question is: Are you helping to raise this kid or not??
I AM this kid's father/dad....and all it entails. I am his authority figure. His biological father is his buddy. Funny story....My mom says to him one night...."How's it going with you and Jeff"? He laughs and tells her I'm hard on him. Then he looks at her and says...."But I need that". (Father/Dad role is instantly validated in my eyes)
Choosing to go on this trip or not won't make either of us serial killers. We'll either go....have fun....or we won't and that'll be fine, too.
Some of you guys act like it's an illegal or an immoral act to go on a canned hunt .....personally, I would NEVER pay to go on one .... if someone gave me the opportunity of a free hunt ..... I'm there, as long as it didn't interrupt my regular archery season .... bot to those that would pay to go ...... have at it ... to each their own .......
08-06-2008, 11:22 AM
#56
Nontypical Buck
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
Posts: 1,184
RE: High Fence - Real Life Scenario
ORIGINAL: quiksilver
I really don't see anything wrong with it. Let's face it:this canned deer hunt isn't going to be a life-altering event that leads the child into a downward spiral of drugs, prostitution and welfare. It's a deer hunt for chrissakes. He goes out and shoots a deer. So what? Maybe it's half-tame. Maybe it's not the "ideal" set of circumstances. Rarely in life are circumstances truly "ideal." Let's be real here.
Look at it for what it is: A chance to go hang out with the boy and maybe bond a little bit. Maybe he gets one, maybe he doesn't. Maybe he backs off the trigger at the last second. Maybe he gets there and realizes right away that it's not for him.
Making your own decisions is part of becoming an adult. By putting him in a situation to make a decision and live with it - you're giving him an opportunity to grow as a human.
For the sake of argument, let's say thathe shootsa deer inside the pen, then feels a little bit of remorse about it later. This willeither re-affirm his zeal and desire to hunt truly "wild" game in the future. At worst, he may discover that hunting isn't for him.That's his decision to make.
In sum, I don't think it will "make or break" him as a hunter. I think it will give him an opportunity to make his own choice as an independent adultand live with it. It will give him the opportunity to experience compassion for his quarry and maybe open his eyes to the brutal beauty ofour game. Hunting isn't all butterflies and rainbows, whether it's inside a fence or 100% fair chase. Part of being a hunter, and more importantly, an adult, is making your own choices with regard to setting a heading on your own moral compass. As a father and a guide, you can present the opportunity to find himself as a man and a hunter.
All too often, hunters make a consciencious effort to try to get their family "into hunting"by putting them in a position to have a good time.Sooner or later, the honeymoon ends, andFather Time puts these people in a position where they fail. In hunting, you fail more often than you succeed. Some people just can't swallow failure, or lack the discipline to put in the actual effort necessary,so they just throw in the towel. I don't agree with that at all. I think you're setting them up for failure. Let people make their own decisions.
You've said it before - hunting is very personal - and I agree 100%. Let him make the call.
I really don't see anything wrong with it. Let's face it:this canned deer hunt isn't going to be a life-altering event that leads the child into a downward spiral of drugs, prostitution and welfare. It's a deer hunt for chrissakes. He goes out and shoots a deer. So what? Maybe it's half-tame. Maybe it's not the "ideal" set of circumstances. Rarely in life are circumstances truly "ideal." Let's be real here.
Look at it for what it is: A chance to go hang out with the boy and maybe bond a little bit. Maybe he gets one, maybe he doesn't. Maybe he backs off the trigger at the last second. Maybe he gets there and realizes right away that it's not for him.
Making your own decisions is part of becoming an adult. By putting him in a situation to make a decision and live with it - you're giving him an opportunity to grow as a human.
For the sake of argument, let's say thathe shootsa deer inside the pen, then feels a little bit of remorse about it later. This willeither re-affirm his zeal and desire to hunt truly "wild" game in the future. At worst, he may discover that hunting isn't for him.That's his decision to make.
In sum, I don't think it will "make or break" him as a hunter. I think it will give him an opportunity to make his own choice as an independent adultand live with it. It will give him the opportunity to experience compassion for his quarry and maybe open his eyes to the brutal beauty ofour game. Hunting isn't all butterflies and rainbows, whether it's inside a fence or 100% fair chase. Part of being a hunter, and more importantly, an adult, is making your own choices with regard to setting a heading on your own moral compass. As a father and a guide, you can present the opportunity to find himself as a man and a hunter.
All too often, hunters make a consciencious effort to try to get their family "into hunting"by putting them in a position to have a good time.Sooner or later, the honeymoon ends, andFather Time puts these people in a position where they fail. In hunting, you fail more often than you succeed. Some people just can't swallow failure, or lack the discipline to put in the actual effort necessary,so they just throw in the towel. I don't agree with that at all. I think you're setting them up for failure. Let people make their own decisions.
You've said it before - hunting is very personal - and I agree 100%. Let him make the call.
Why not let your boy make his own decisions? If it's not for you then fine, but don't make that call for him. My parents always let me make my own decisions and I had to deal with the outcome of my actions.
My dad always said this to me " Boy, if you are carrying a backpack I will let you carry it, but when you haveaboulder to deal withI will assist you." Hence, let your son make his own decisions, especially since it isn't that big ofone IMHO.
08-06-2008, 11:23 AM
#57
Giant Nontypical
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Phoenixville, PA USA
Posts: 5,541
RE: High Fence - Real Life Scenario
ORIGINAL: GMMAT
Thanks BRY....
What I was trying to keep out of the conversation was people imposing their OWN thoughts (on the subject at hand....and how THEY, themselves, feel about it)into how HE should feel. It isn't about me/them. It just isn't. Like I said....nothing illegal going on.....nothing he's going to hell for.
That was all. I apreciate that last post a lot.
Argument is too strong a word, but "for the sake of debating every minute detail" just didn't sound right. It just seems that you had some preconceived thoughts on this and every time an answer comes up that doesn't coincide with those thoughts a question to the contrary comes up.
After reading everything through, I think Fran summed it up best. Go over it with your boy and let him make the decision. At worst he spends some time with dad and realizes that kind of hunt isn't for him. Win win.
It just seems that you had some preconceived thoughts on this and every time an answer comes up that doesn't coincide with those thoughts a question to the contrary comes up. After reading everything through, I think Fran summed it up best. Go over it with your boy and let him make the decision. At worst he spends some time with dad and realizes that kind of hunt isn't for him. Win win.
What I was trying to keep out of the conversation was people imposing their OWN thoughts (on the subject at hand....and how THEY, themselves, feel about it)into how HE should feel. It isn't about me/them. It just isn't. Like I said....nothing illegal going on.....nothing he's going to hell for.
That was all. I apreciate that last post a lot.
Whatever he decides I hope you have some fun and get to spend some time together. That's all that really matters anyway.
08-06-2008, 11:26 AM
#59
Dominant Buck
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location:
Posts: 21,043
RE: High Fence - Real Life Scenario
LOL, you really have me scratching my head sometimes bud. If you didn't want others imposing their OWN thoughts thenwhy pose the question? You know damn well that you bring up a high fence question on this forumthat you're going to get a lot of OWN thoughts out of people. If that's not what you want leave it between you and your son. None of us matter if that's the case.
Whatever he decides I hope you have some fun and get to spend some time together. That's all that really matters anyway.
Whatever he decides I hope you have some fun and get to spend some time together. That's all that really matters anyway.
What I found through reading these in discussing it is that I'm not where I waswhen westarted. I appreciate everyone's responses. Thank you.
That was why I said that the way I did. Sorry.
100% agree!!! The voice of reason has spoken.
Why not let your boy make his own decisions? If it's not for you then fine, but don't make that call for him. My parents always let me make my own decisions and I had to deal with the outcome of my actions.
My dad always said this to me " Boy, if you are carrying a backpack I will let you carry it, but when you haveaboulder to deal withI will assist you." Hence, let your son make his own decisions, especially since it isn't that big ofone IMHO.
Why not let your boy make his own decisions? If it's not for you then fine, but don't make that call for him. My parents always let me make my own decisions and I had to deal with the outcome of my actions.
My dad always said this to me " Boy, if you are carrying a backpack I will let you carry it, but when you haveaboulder to deal withI will assist you." Hence, let your son make his own decisions, especially since it isn't that big ofone IMHO.
