Cops vs Hunters
 

One night during the local deer hunting season a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy country bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a deer hunter tumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, then try his keys in five different cars before he found his. He sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. All the other deer hunters left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.00. The puzzle officer demanded to know how that could be.

The deer hunter replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."


Thought the title would get your attention. Good joke though..........

RE: Cops vs Hunters
 

Four friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an ten-point buck.

"Where's Billy Bob?"

"Billy Bob had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail."

"You left Billy Bob laying out there and carried the deer back?"

"A tough call," nodded the hunter "but I figured no one, in their right mind, is going to steal Billy Bob."

RE: Cops vs Hunters
 

A first time deer hunter booked a hunt with an experienced outfitter. He would be hunting a productive area, but it was filled with grizzly bears. When he got to camp, he insisted that his guide be 60 years old or older. The outfitter thought this was very odd, seeing that the hunter himself was in his early thirties.

The novice hunter downed a nice buck, but skinning and butchering the deer attracted some big grizzlies in the area. The hunter returned to base camp with his clothes shredded, telling the story of being attacked by a bear.

The outfitter wanted to know where his guide was. The hunter said he was still laying in the woods. The outfitter asked him how his clothes got torn, and the hunter said that while they were working on the deer carcass, a grizzly bear had ambushed them and he was attacked.

He said, "I hit the bear with my gun and took off running. As I was running away the guide yelled at me to play dead, that you can't outrun a bear. I yelled back, I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you."

RE: Cops vs Hunters
 

all are funny as hell, i like the first the best though.

PT

RE: Cops vs Hunters
 

A first time bear hunter went bear hunting. He saw a nice sized black bear and shot it.He brought it to the Game Warden to be recorded.
"Do you have a valid hunting license?" the Game Warden asked the hunter.
"No, I do not" replied the hunter.
"Well then I am going to fine you $1,000. Next time you better have a valid hunting license or else I am going to arrest you."
The hunter goes bear hunting the next day, this time with a valid hunting license. He sees another bear and kills it. He brings it back to the Game Warden so he can record it.
"Do you have a valid hunting license this time?"
"Yes I do."
He then shows the Game Warden his hunting license.
"Can I see your bear tag?"
"I don't have a bear tag"
"You need a bear tag in order to hunt bear. I am going you $5,000. If I catch you hunting bear without a bear tag next time I will arrest you"
The hunter goes to buy a bear tag. He goes bear hunting the next day and kills another bear. He brings it to the Game Warden.
"Can I see your license and bear tag"
"Yes"
The hunter hands the Game Warden his license and bear tag.
"Wow, I see it took you three shots to kill this bear. It looks like you ended up shooting the bear in both front feet and in the head" said the Game Warden.
"No sir, the bear covered his eyes as I shined the spot light on him" said the hunter.

:D

RE: Cops vs Hunters
 

LMAO.

RE: Cops vs Hunters
 

y'all are too funny:D

RE: Cops vs Hunters
 

Thanks for the laugh, that was great

RE: Cops vs Hunters
 

Two men weresquirrel huntingon a hot summer day. One of them collapsed and passed out. The otherman called 911.
"911 what is your emergency?"
"It's my friend, he collapsed and passed out. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, please help me!"
"Calm down. First we have to make sure he is dead"
There is a silence on the line.
BOOM
"Ok, now what?"



Dan and Billwere rabbit hunting in the desert. Dan got bit in the buttby a rattlesnake.
"Bill, I got bit in the buttby a rattlesnake. Call a doctor and ask what to do."
Bill tries to call the doctor, but he has no service.
"My phone doesn't have any service. I will ride into town and ask a doctor what to do."
Bill rides into town and goes to the hospital.
"Doctor, doctor, my friend Dan has been bit by a rattlesnake. What should I do?"
"You have to suck the poison out of the bite."
"Thanks doctor" says Bill.
Billrides back to the desert. He comes upon Dan.
"What did the doctor say?"
"Your going to die."

:D:D

RE: Cops vs Hunters
 

A couple of guys went hunting in the mountains. The terrain was very steep and rugged. As they climbed higher, one of the hunters began to clutch his chest and collapsed. The other began to panic, then realizes he had his cell phone and called 911. He was frantic and explained to the operator that he thought his buddy had died from a heart attack, He asked what he should do. The operator asked him if he was sure if the guy was dead. He replied, "Hold on a minute." A second later a shot rang out. He came back to the phone and said, "Okay, what next?"