If you are shooting 'cheap' 230 gr. rounds, then it is most likely hardball and relatively light load for a .45. The difference in recoil between this and a lighter bullet I feel are negligible. It sounds like you are on the right track as it is, though. You are not going to find a .45 ACP load that will shoot like a .22 and you current load is a good practice round.

You said you are improving with each trip. I say stick with what you've got and build on it with sound practice. You are doing the right thing by using a .22 to practice control. Another tip is to use dry fire practice when at home using slow deliberate trigger pulls. And at the range, when you start to flinch or you are about to crush the frame with too tight a grip, take a break and pick up the .22. Continuing to shoot with a flinch will just compound the problem. Relax, take a breath, and start over. You'll get there.