Melissa,
I think you need to do a couple of things. First when sighting in from a bench I always wear a PAST recoil shield which is basically a dense foam pad that absorbs recoil (its in the Cabelas catalogue). When you wear one you never get bruised. Secondly pay more attention to the fit of the rifle you are shooting. You say you shoot a 30-06 which might be a little long for you and would amplify the recoil if you can't get a comfortable hold on it. I would try a Remington model 7 or a Browning Micro medallion on for size, both rifles are great choices for smaller framed shooters. Either a 7mm-08 or .308 would be plenty for the game you plan on hunting and if you stick to lighter premium bullets that will also help with the recoil.